Are you proud of having Asperger's?

Post Reply New Topic

As I have stated previously, I am proud to be autistic. There are two types of pride. One is the type that many regard as the "bad" type. The other is the "good" type---being satisfied and happy with who we are. That is the pride I have. I am satisfied and happy with what autism has done in my life---interests, talents, etc. that I would not have acquired being NT. This is the type of pride that just says, "I am satisfied/happy with what I have been able to do." And there isn't anything wrong with being satisfied with ourselves.

As for children---I love having children. My wife and I have two sons. One is diagnosed autistic and the other son more than likely would have been diagnosed as well (but he is older and AS was not well known about at that time). Would I want my sons to be NT? No. I want them the way they are---I want my youngest son as an autistic, and the older one with his autistic traits. They are an absolute joy to be around. They are alive and happy and enthusiastic and driven with their special intense interests. The teachers love having them in class. I can relate to my children...and them to me.

My family attends local autism group gatherings with many autistic children everywhere on the spectrum. They are a happy bunch of kids and families. We play baseball, we bowl, we have parties, we go to movies, we eat dinner, we play arcade games, etc. Oh sure, we have our challenges---but doesn't everybody?

No.

Being proud doesn't help.

Being proud won't cure my relatives of their severe disabilities.
It won't cure the world of sexism.
It won't stop people from drinking pathologically and being sick on my floor.
It won't stop people wanting to take advantage of me.

In the past, people saying that I "have Aspergers" didn't help.
They didn't state exactly what I "had" and what I could productively do about it.

How can I be proud of something that people are afraid of?

Why be proud of something that's hardwired that I had no choice about?

That's why I think it's just as ridiculous as saying: "I'm proud to be a woman." or "I'm proud to be white." or "I'm proud to have blonde hair." or "I'm proud to have attached earlobes."

Once people discover that I "have Aspergers", some of them have baby talked down to me and looked at me as though I'm a zoological exhibit.

When people don't know, they treat me more like an adult human being.
Either that or I get ostracised and left behind anyway.

This is what I don't understand about all of these books talking about "empowering people with Aspergers".

You can feel as confident and as empowered as you like, but that doesn't change the overwhelm in crowded places, the hypersensitivity of the sensory overload.

As an analogy, it's like saying that a person in a wheelchair is "proud" to be disabled.
It doesn't help. Being proud of "having" a disability won't stop you from being harassed and bullied by others. It won't help if other people don't want to help you through the door. Being proud won't help if there are steps up to the door of a building. If the wheelchair is invisible, being proud won't help either.

Being proud doesn't help: other people do.

Being proud won't help me "read" others or prevent social misunderstandings.

If other people aren't willing to help or accept, then being proud won't change anything.
All of the pride in the world won't help if the community is unaware or unsupportive.

People say "be proud", but then they tell you to change to suit them.
People always wanted me to be proud of things that they approved of.
They wanted me to be proud of things that I never wanted to be proud of.

I wanted to be quietly satisfied with a job well done. I never wanted to be proud publicly. They wanted me to be proud so I could brag about it. They wanted me to brag and smalltalk about all the things that I've done.

It's horrible. Giving me prizes so that I could be "proud" hasn't helped: it just made me feel more anxious, fake and neurotic.

Going around being "proud" makes other people either suspicious or jealous.
I never wanted to be proud, so why did people force me to keep a "record of achievement"?

It didn't help.

Being proud of Aspergers won't help.
The label hasn't helped me at all. People are either afraid of it or don't know what it is.

Why should I be proud of my personality traits pathologised?
Why should I be proud of personality traits in my family being pathologised?

It doesn't make any sense.

I was happy being me.
Sometimes other people are not happy at all with me being myself.

Why should I be proud of something about me that causes an inconvience to other people?

I wouldn't say i'm proud but i'm no longer ashamed. i dont define myself as a 'person with aspergers', im just 'me'.

Yes, I am proud, God made me unique and even though sometimes it can be difficult to live with, I appreciate who I am and the challenges I do face only make me stronger.

Another reason why I hate having is: I have an 18 year old female cousin who is a NT and is also really popular and glamous and outspoken. My other cousin is 16, is a male NT, and is shy and serious. And my youngest male cousin is only 10, but he is really outgoing and loud. And we are all cousins, (not siblings), so we all get on OK. But when they come round at the same time, the 18 year old usually wants to meet her mates, so we all have to go and meet these mates. I'm only 2 years older than them, but they completely blank me out - and I'm always joining in and trying to make an effort, and I never alienate myself from them, but they still prefer to talk to all three of my cousins, leaving me tagging behind. The 16 year old is shy, but is accepted because he's obviously NT, and the little 10 year old is the most accepted because he's really outspoken. But what upsets me is it's usually the little kid who is not really accepted much but teenagers, and neither is the shy teen - the only one who is usually accepted in a crowd is the oldest. But it's because I'm the Aspie I get chewed out.

Tell me one thing to be proud of being an Aspie in that scenario!

OK, OK, I will tell you why I'm not proud of having it, and I don't want lecturing like ''oh get a life'' or ''shut up now'' or any other rude crap like that because that is NT behaviour. I'm using this thread to talk to others who should understand me, not throw it back in my face and make me feel alone.
I'll tell you all the reasons why I hate having it:-

1. I feel I am the cause of everyone's problems
2. My mum will be better off if I were dead
3. Nobody wants an Aspie in the family
4. I alienate myself from people
5. I'm so full of anger

I want counselling. I want anything to help. I've been ringing social services to get referred, I've been up the doctors who have referred me to Adult Support Services, but they haven't got back in touch, so I've been ringing and ringing and ringing in the last year or so and I still haven't got nowhere fast. They don't want to know. I can't afford to go private, so I'm stuck on this silly NHS who really don't want to know. Now I feel very dispondent to it and I feel like giving up. Then I think - if I was NT like all the others in my family I wouldn't be doing this. I'm a sucker to have AS and I f*****g HATE IT!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

I do feel pride as well as acceptance (or embrace) for my aspergers despite some of the disadvantages . Through it's not so bad when sure many would prefer that I conform to social norms and among some family members be born "normal" I feel that such peoples perspectives are less then valid borne of social bias against that of which they don't understand (or don't care to). While my social abilitys are less then average my ability to learn and aquire new infomation surpass many people that I know and generally friendly for the most part and caring for those I feel are decent people; unless of course you give me no reason to play nice for any number of reasons.

Also given that many aspergers are while cursed perhaps we are also gifted in many areas despite many who would believe that anything not mainstream of is in need of "help". In related news I gave a speech on aspergers/autism in school and could have turned out better but think that I done a good job of raising awareness of Aspergers Syndrome that many overhere are not familar with.

Even though I would like to be cured of Aspergers I am very proud of the fact I think differently than the majority of NT people I have worked with over the years at different jobs. Every job I worked at even the ones I was fired from people were suprised by something I said or did. I have brought machines once thought long dead back to life, I have taken several stacks of trays full of mangled parts everyone said were ruined I managed to make them look better than new, I have come up with work arounds that saved time and money, and I done things at the company that no one never would have thought of and made them work to the companies benifit. Of course the same people who smiled at my good ideas giving me endless compliments still enjoyed calling me a ret*d or talking trash behind my back. They have called me rainDan, the dope, and other names that made me sound like an idiot but those jackasses will never have half the thinking ability my brain possesses my creativity knows no bounds and theirs is as dull as a bag of rocks.

No, i don't see how i can be proud of my diagnosis, it's all just labels to me (now anyways) and yea, i often feel I've been misdiagnosed, i don't even show much symptoms like i used to.

I'm truly happy with what my life is like now and i just appreciate what's coming.

I can feel pride only over something that I achieved, not something I was born with, since it isn't related to any of my pursuits but the way biological mechanisms formed my brain even before I was born.