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Aspie males offensively generalizing about women!! !

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Melantha
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28 Jan 2007, 2:41 pm

Kosmonaut wrote:
You are correct, it is not a contest.
Deny it or not, it is the way the world is.
The point is, women get many more opportunities to sort the wheat out from the chaff.
I have been treated like s**t and dumped previously, it is not a unique phenomena.
It's a process of life, which 'normal' people deal with regularly.
You can cry about it all you want, and you can call me an ass.
But can you have any comprehension of what it is like to be Male with AS?


Of course not. I never claimed to know anything of the sort. In fact that's been my whole point throughout this thread: neither men nor women can ever know what it is like to be the other, therefore these ridiculous "contests" about who has it worse are utterly pointless and self-defeating, as are the bitter mud-slinging matches that seem to occur with predictable regularity. Our energy would be much better spent on accepting and supporting each other. We might even find our common ground and start to feel a bit more connected to each other!
You're right, women certainly do get more opportunities to sort out the wheat from the chaff. That is really an excellent way of putting it, btw. The only problem is, one can go through a lifetime without coming across any wheat. :)

P.S. I'm not crying about anything, and I did not call you an ass; I simply thought one of your comments was based on an erroneous assumption.



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28 Jan 2007, 3:04 pm

Fair enough: i did not like the ass comment.
You won't find me in any bitter mud-slinging thing.
If you really want to find common ground, then it may be counter-productive to call peoples comments 'inane' (& the ass comment), when they are merely stating the obvious crux of the matter.
BTW, i hope you have found your 'wheat'.



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28 Jan 2007, 3:11 pm

I just skim this thread as I have ADHD and would choose
chemical castration over reading it if forced.

AS is characterised by social cognitive processing problems that leads to poor social skills in general. With that in mind it seems
very natural that men on average here can not understand women as well as a NT man can.

So why the shock?



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28 Jan 2007, 3:24 pm

I do not have ADHD; and don't even talk about chemical castration nonsense; but i know where you are coming from.

What i cannot fathom is: what has having poor social skills got to do with understanding women?
Seriously, it's beyond me.

EDIT: You know what. I really should stay out of these sort of threads. My field is logic & mathematics.
Forget the above question Machine1; i don't have the framework to comprehend it :)



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28 Jan 2007, 3:41 pm

Melantha wrote:
I thought, after reading some of Tony Attwood's stuff, that aspies were more likely than NTs to take people as individuals, at face value, with few preconceptions and prejudices. But since coming onto the WP forums, I'm starting to wonder where this idea came from. I've never been on any forum before where so many people seem to generalize and stereotype to such an unbelievable extent. The one thing that jumps out immediately is the way the male members seem to perceive (or rather, NOT perceive) female human beings. The misconceptions and assumptions bandied about here every day are astounding and saddening. Attitudes that even NT males would consider sexist and outdated are regularly displayed here by male aspies. They seem unable to simply view a female human being as an individual first, rather than as just an interchangeable unit of the mass known as "women". I find it incredibly offensive to engage in dialogue with someone only to find out that he has an automatically negative prejudice against me because I was born in a body with female reproductive organs. Apparently this somehow negates all other aspects of my being and strips me of my right to be perceived as an individual; I'm not Melantha, the unique human being, I'm just a woman. I would venture to say it's no coincidence that most of the men displaying this attitude also whine about not being able to get a girlfriend or get laid. Hmmm, maybe you guys could try just SEEING US AS PEOPLE???? Ever think of that? Women know when they're being pre-judged for what they are rather than truly seen for who they are, and they don't like it any more than you do. That could have a whole lot to do with the negative reactions you receive. :x



the subject line interested me...but I couldn't read your post because of the giant block of text.


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28 Jan 2007, 3:56 pm

Quote:
I thought, after reading some of Tony Attwood's stuff, that aspies were more likely than NTs to take people as individuals, at face value, with few preconceptions and prejudices. But since coming onto the WP forums, I'm starting to wonder where this idea came from. I've never been on any forum before where so many people seem to generalize and stereotype to such an unbelievable extent.

The one thing that jumps out immediately is the way the male members seem to perceive (or rather, NOT perceive) female human beings. The misconceptions and assumptions bandied about here every day are astounding and saddening. Attitudes that even NT males would consider sexist and outdated are regularly displayed here by male aspies. They seem unable to simply view a female human being as an individual first, rather than as just an interchangeable unit of the mass known as "women".

I find it incredibly offensive to engage in dialogue with someone only to find out that he has an automatically negative prejudice against me because I was born in a body with female reproductive organs. Apparently this somehow negates all other aspects of my being and strips me of my right to be perceived as an individual; I'm not Melantha, the unique human being, I'm just a woman.

I would venture to say it's no coincidence that most of the men displaying this attitude also whine about not being able to get a girlfriend or get laid. Hmmm, maybe you guys could try just SEEING US AS PEOPLE???? Ever think of that? Women know when they're being pre-judged for what they are rather than truly seen for who they are, and they don't like it any more than you do.

That could have a whole lot to do with the negative reactions you receive.



ahayes
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28 Jan 2007, 4:05 pm

willow wrote:
Melantha wrote:
I thought, after reading some of Tony Attwood's stuff, that aspies were more likely than NTs to take people as individuals, at face value, with few preconceptions and prejudices. But since coming onto the WP forums, I'm starting to wonder where this idea came from. I've never been on any forum before where so many people seem to generalize and stereotype to such an unbelievable extent. The one thing that jumps out immediately is the way the male members seem to perceive (or rather, NOT perceive) female human beings. The misconceptions and assumptions bandied about here every day are astounding and saddening. Attitudes that even NT males would consider sexist and outdated are regularly displayed here by male aspies. They seem unable to simply view a female human being as an individual first, rather than as just an interchangeable unit of the mass known as "women". I find it incredibly offensive to engage in dialogue with someone only to find out that he has an automatically negative prejudice against me because I was born in a body with female reproductive organs. Apparently this somehow negates all other aspects of my being and strips me of my right to be perceived as an individual; I'm not Melantha, the unique human being, I'm just a woman. I would venture to say it's no coincidence that most of the men displaying this attitude also whine about not being able to get a girlfriend or get laid. Hmmm, maybe you guys could try just SEEING US AS PEOPLE???? Ever think of that? Women know when they're being pre-judged for what they are rather than truly seen for who they are, and they don't like it any more than you do. That could have a whole lot to do with the negative reactions you receive. :x



the subject line interested me...but I couldn't read your post because of the giant block of text.


I hate gigantic blocks of text.



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28 Jan 2007, 4:09 pm

logitechdog wrote:
Quote:
I thought, after reading some of Tony Attwood's stuff, that aspies were more likely than NTs to take people as individuals, at face value, with few preconceptions and prejudices. But since coming onto the WP forums, I'm starting to wonder where this idea came from. I've never been on any forum before where so many people seem to generalize and stereotype to such an unbelievable extent.

The one thing that jumps out immediately is the way the male members seem to perceive (or rather, NOT perceive) female human beings. The misconceptions and assumptions bandied about here every day are astounding and saddening. Attitudes that even NT males would consider sexist and outdated are regularly displayed here by male aspies. They seem unable to simply view a female human being as an individual first, rather than as just an interchangeable unit of the mass known as "women".

I find it incredibly offensive to engage in dialogue with someone only to find out that he has an automatically negative prejudice against me because I was born in a body with female reproductive organs. Apparently this somehow negates all other aspects of my being and strips me of my right to be perceived as an individual; I'm not Melantha, the unique human being, I'm just a woman.

I would venture to say it's no coincidence that most of the men displaying this attitude also whine about not being able to get a girlfriend or get laid. Hmmm, maybe you guys could try just SEEING US AS PEOPLE???? Ever think of that? Women know when they're being pre-judged for what they are rather than truly seen for who they are, and they don't like it any more than you do.

That could have a whole lot to do with the negative reactions you receive.


And less words too!

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28 Jan 2007, 5:33 pm

Melantha wrote:


1. If we're lucky, then we will find the right man and end up more-or-less-happily married, which allows us to live in a way that actually uses our AS traits to advantage.

2. ...It is a matter of survival. It is necessary to me to stay safe and relatively sane.


3. My point is, yes, it's partly cultural, but also when something is a matter of your instinct for self-preservation, there is no question of making it happen. You just have to.


1. Oh my gosh! The most intelligent thing I've every heard spoken-anywhere
2. True for me!
3. Not true for me. Though in a perfect world I would have the perfect matey.

Still your first part about sums up what at base I experience in regards to..picking out people I could deal with in a living arrangement. I'm bad at this and have given the ruse over to the younger generations to have fun with.


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28 Jan 2007, 5:49 pm

ur very title for this post "Aspie males offensively generalizing about women!! !" is generalizing
i am a aspie male (aspie, i like that) and you are offensively generalizing about ME!
not to be generalizing about women, but some specific women who i do know, generalize about men generalizing about women. they think that men have this bad view about women, only like women for sex, think men are better, etc. but this is simply not true. the specific people, who happen to be women, i am talking about, tend to project this image on top of every guy they know who they don't personally like. i don't like that they do this. only very few men are really like that, and i don't know any of them; i have only seen it on tv, in movies, etc. now i have not read much of this forum yet, but from the little i did, i have not noticed any generalizing about women.



goomba
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28 Jan 2007, 5:55 pm

matt271 wrote:
ur very title for this post "Aspie males offensively generalizing about women!! !" is generalizing
i am a aspie male (aspie, i like that) and you are offensively generalizing about ME!
not to be generalizing about women, but some specific women who i do know, generalize about men generalizing about women...

Generalising about women who generalise about men who generalise about women.
I just wanted to say that, not making accusations or anything 8)



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28 Jan 2007, 6:07 pm

Goomba can generalize all she wants to, because females can never be wrong because Goomba is female, and Goomba can never be wrong. Facts don't mean s**t if they go against goomba's dominance :roll:



Melantha
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28 Jan 2007, 7:05 pm

matt271 wrote:
ur very title for this post "Aspie males offensively generalizing about women!! !" is generalizing
i am a aspie male (aspie, i like that) and you are offensively generalizing about ME!
not to be generalizing about women, but some specific women who i do know, generalize about men generalizing about women. they think that men have this bad view about women, only like women for sex, think men are better, etc. but this is simply not true. the specific people, who happen to be women, i am talking about, tend to project this image on top of every guy they know who they don't personally like. i don't like that they do this. only very few men are really like that, and i don't know any of them; i have only seen it on tv, in movies, etc. now i have not read much of this forum yet, but from the little i did, i have not noticed any generalizing about women.


No, it's not a generalization, it's a grammatically abreviated headline such as those employed in newspaper articles. Worded fully, it would read "SOME aspie males ARE offensively generalizing about women". It's a matter of interpretation and I apologize if it caused confusion and offense. I've stated more times than I can be bothered counting that I do not mean all aspie males.



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28 Jan 2007, 7:21 pm

I didn't even read it all, so my interpretation was obviously flawed. No hard feelings ;-)



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28 Jan 2007, 7:22 pm

I have never KNOWINGLY met or conversed with an Aspie male-in person.

However,
As far as communicating and socializing and having intelligent discussions, pound for pound the male minds on here are just simply better. (than the Neurotypical male minds for instance in other venues). Perhaps it is because we have something at base in common.

I'd say, and I don't want to derail the thread, but I lean that aspie males are less...whatever word we were using to describe stereotypical of their counterparts.


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Last edited by SeaBright on 28 Jan 2007, 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

goomba
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28 Jan 2007, 7:24 pm

snake321 wrote:
Goomba can generalize all she wants to, because females can never be wrong because Goomba is female, and Goomba can never be wrong. Facts don't mean s**t if they go against goomba's dominance :roll:

You have a weird way of seeing things...
Don't make a habit of following up my posts like this, please. Thank you.