Sorry I have to ask this

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Hi, kraftiekortie, I do not understand comparing red hair to autism, it does not make sense to me. And maybe both is common but still I do not understand, because blond hair is common as well or brown or dark hair but the impact of having autism or a hair-colour to me is not comparable, because I do have reddish-brown hair but it does not cause any trouble in every day functioning.
I really do not understand.
Thank you for answering me, kraftiekortie!

size group as red haired people

I don't know if this is true, but in my case I don't think it is - I live in a very sociable community yet with typically Eastern family ties... yet I always had very very few friends, and now after those friends moved/married , I spend most of my weekends alone - I am a total lone wolf now.

I live way less sociably than the typical fellow countrymen.

I did spend some time, during work travels that lasted for weeks, with Europeans. Most of them Czechs, which you may consider them as Eastern/Central Europeans, but they are pretty much Westernized - they are only slightly less sociable than my fella countrymen, but still the gap between me and them feels big.

One reason of my doubts is because I don't have an official diagnosis, and I am not dying to seek for one for two reasons:

First Reason:

I found out about AS around 2006; I emailed a doctor back then, residing in UK, telling her details about my life, childhood, and current situation ....everything, and got this reply (yes, I just found it in my email):



Then I contacted "The Lebanese Autism Society" ( which is the only local entity concerned in this matter) asking her the same detailed question - , because back then I was thinking to seek for an official diagnosis and contacting them and didn't know where to start so contacting those was the logical first step -

Her reply was (Translated):




My reply was "I ll contact you when I can" and I left it at that, I didn't pursue it any further because I could tell that she would have lectured me how that I am functionally fine and I shouldn't worry about it ; It was very obvious the direction of this conversation would had taken place.

and this came from the head of this organization.

After further pondering, it was pretty obvious that those autism experts do not really view HFA/AS as Autism, as the long the person can talk, have a job and functional, and if it's not visually obvious to people (ie. you look normal to me) then, for them, it is not real Autism.

They only treat and cater for the *obvious* Autism cases, the Classic Autism.



Second Reason:

I don't have faith in Psychiatry in general, I have read enough about it and their methods, and I don't really view it as a real scientific medical field, and the way they do stuff sound pretty pseudo-scientific , too trial-and-error and unscientific.
They get things right sometimes, but they get things wrong, extremely and oppositely wrong, at many times.


And both Autism and AS are Psychiatric diagnoses only; there's no "biological definitions" of these conditions.

Classic Autism, even if it is still a Psychiatric diagnosis is obviously a real disorder, even a disease perhaps, because its symptoms are very obvious (even obvious to those who know nothing about Autism) and impact greatly functionality in life. It is very obvious to everyone that there's something "wrong" in those people.

But AS/HFA ? Especially those who can work, drive and compute? There's really no biological proof that what they have something wrong. It can be simply a personality/brain variation (and personality might be partly biological after all) which got socially constructed as a disorder because it is a rare variation.

There's no real final proof that HFA and severe autism are the same, caused by the same biological causes (in case HFA turned to be a real biologiacl disorder) - the whole "spectrum" idea is a Psychiatric theory.

I would only pursue a diagnosis when ASD diagnosis becomes a fully medical diagnosis, and stops being a Psychiatric label only.

A good example for this transition is the Rett Syndrome, Rett Syndrome was a Psychiatric diagnosis (so Psychiatrists got this one right somehow) and it was lumped with Autism conditions, it was known also as "Autism for girls" - but they found out its real biological cause, they know now the exact mutated gene and its location in the DNA.
For that reason, it was removed from DSM 5 and it is now a real medical diagnosis in medical books studied in real med schools, and it can detected by a genetic testing.

People here should understand that a Medical diagnosis is by faaaaar strongly more credible than any Psychiatric diagnosis.

That's why I am not interested to pursue for a diagnosis, ASD is still a Psychiatric diagnosis, and since there's no genetic/blood testing to make sure whether one has it or not.

If one day they find an accurate genetic/blood testing for it, like the case of Rett Syndrome, then I would certain sprint to nearest lab for it, otherwise, not much interested.

I will quess based on your age posted your dad grew up when I did or a bit earlier. It was considered unmanly to look into oneself and thus seeing a proffessional was stigmatized. Only those truly "crazy" or the idle rich saw "shrinks". While it was recognized everybody had difficulties you were expected to figure it out, deal with them, and not burden others with your "personal business".

Yep, that's about it. Dad was born a few short years after the end of WWII. His advice to me when I've had mental health problems has always been "just get on with it". I'm sure he meant it well, but I recently realised it's awful advice. To "get on with it" I've tried to pretend to be normal, at great cost to myself. He is actively hostile to the mental health professions and especially to antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication. I made the mistake of telling him I was taking medication for anxiety once and let's just say his response was such that I will never make that mistake again. In his case I wonder if it's not only a matter of being part of the stoic older generations, but of being allergic to the idea that one of his children might have a mental health problem.

To bring it back to the original topic: children rely on their parents and other adults around them to pick up on their difficulties. There are many reasons why that might not happen.

I remember my dad having an absolute fit when they were helping me move and I was very disorganized. He told me I was taking it "too lightly". Then at a later time he told me that all through his working years, he would spend a couple of hours lying awake in bed every evening, mentally going through all his tasks for the following work day. He said he thought that was the reason he always did well at work, but that it had taken a toll on his health, and that he proably shouldn't have done it.

Btw, his working years all happened when things were slower than today. I doubt he'd have the energy to repeat the prodcedure in today's workplace.

Yeah, sorry, I guess that can seem flippant if you're not familiar with my outlook on autism. I first see autistic people as simply different and things like sensitivity as a problem with being in a world not suited for autistics, not an innate problem with autistics themselves.

It may not seem apparent from my picture, where my hair looks kind of brown, but I actually have red hair myself. This is part of why I use this convenient statistic. And yes, I meant it in the way that Kraftie explained. Just that red haired people are a group of people and autistics are another group of people and the two groups happen to be about the same size. Thanks Kraftie.

FYI- the rate of gay men and lesbian women is also roughly the same size group as red haired people and of autistic people (this rate is something like 1.5%-1.65% I believe, but I can look it up). As a comparison, black people in the US are something like 12% and transgender people are something like 0.2%.

Yeah, sorry, I guess that can seem flippant if you're not familiar with my outlook on autism. I first see autistic people as simply different and things like sensitivity as a problem with being in a world not suited for autistics, not an innate problem with autistics themselves.

It may not seem apparent from my picture, where my hair looks kind of brown, but I actually have red hair myself. This is part of why I use this convenient statistic. And yes, I meant it in the way that Kraftie explained. Just that red haired people are a group of people and autistics are another group of people and the two groups happen to be about the same size. Thanks Kraftie.

FYI- the rate of gay men and lesbian women is also roughly the same size group as red haired people and of autistic people (this rate is something like 1.5%-1.65% I believe, but I can look it up). As a comparison, black people in the US are something like 12% and transgender people are something like 0.2%.

The world is really not suited for autistic people.

That's why it's essential that at least some autistic people have support workers to help them.

Having these support workers could very well make an autistic person a more useful member of society--because then, with this support, the person can concentrate on his/her special interest.

This pursuit of the autistic person's special interest could very well benefit others. Many autistic people, some of whom had formal or informal support, have invented useful devices, or have promulgated useful ideas--useful for the Greater Society.

I remember my dad having an absolute fit when they were helping me move and I was very disorganized. He told me I was taking it "too lightly". Then at a later time he told me that all through his working years, he would spend a couple of hours lying awake in bed every evening, mentally going through all his tasks for the following work day. He said he thought that was the reason he always did well at work, but that it had taken a toll on his health, and that he proably shouldn't have done it.

Btw, his working years all happened when things were slower than today. I doubt he'd have the energy to repeat the prodcedure in today's workplace.

If nobody can tell if someone is autistic, like people ask if they should tell their, coworkers, friends, siblings and parents that they are autistic, how can they have autism?