Emotion Management - Info from Attwood conference
[quote="Inventor"]If there is one place I should learn never to attempt sarcasm, but don't worry, I never learn, I am Autistic.
We are not being treated like intelligent people, we are all Rainman to those hard working NT's who come to save the ungratful disappointing tards from their self inflicted suffering.
So I play, "My stereotype can beat up your stereotype."[quote]
I see.It's like "fighting fire with fire".Although I've never really understood that expression
because I thought it was better to fight fire with water.
What I'm wary of is falling into the trap of creating divisions and imbalance,pre-judging
people based on whether they are Autistic,NT,British,American,Iraqi,Christian,Muslim or
whatever.Not forgetting Australians
I know from past experience that it's best to keep an open mind about everything.Words can have a powerful influence,in fact that is the basis of CBT. If you keep repeating a
mantra like 'Iraq possesses WMDs' then you convince enough people that it's true,but with
terrible consequences.Keep telling ourselves 'All NTs are bad' and on a lesser scale the
consequences are that innocent people (including ourselves) are likely to suffer and potential allies may be turned away from us.
Incidentally,Tony Attwood is in fact English born and bred,he moved to Australia.The fact
that I as a Scot have stood up for an Englishman shows that we can all live in harmony.
(Blast,I've just fallen into my own trap of using a stereotype )
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I have lost the will to be apathetic
Pluto, Aye Pict, Paisley near Scone, and the stone is back that legend says will free Scotland.
While we have to bring our Jihad to the world, it is mostly an Ameican problem. We have thousands who want to sue claiming vaccine caused Autism, Mercury, which was removed in 2001, and the Autism rate rose.
They have no Science, yet they have children who are the worst possible outcome. They still are trying, for they seek a whole lot of money, from the US who indemnifies vaccine makers.
The Mercury Mafia is all over the web, sending out press releases, often coming here, and some of the home treatments, Chelation, have lead to the death of childen. Christians go for sitting on the childs chest to drive out evil spirits, which also causes death. We have a long list of Autistic children murdered by parents, who belived the Mercury Mafia.
They are trying to try the case in the press. CBT, keep saying it long enough, get enough belivers, and force a payoff.
Group two is Autism Speaks, who raises $20,000,000 a year, keeps half, and gives half for research on identifying us in the womb. Abortion is their solution to the horror of our lives.
Just by one in one hundred and fifty, there are 2,000,000 of us in the US, and most of us get by just fine. Both groups spend their time telling everyone how bad we are.
Because of money, niether of them wants anything good said about Autistic people.
They want rid of us all, including the IT, Professors, Researchers, First Chair in most orchestras, writers, inventors, chemists, skilled machinests, Engineers, and other professions where we do well.
Mostly they attack the children and pretend that adults do not exist. Autism Speaks bans adult Autistics from their web site. Meeting them half way would involve not waiting for abortion, but killing ourselves.
According to the Mercury Mafia, only NT parents of tortured children understand Autism, and we are all fakes. Meeting them half way would take conversion to their faith, for they do not believe in Science, and a second grade vocabulary.
So when Tony Attwood says, "Aspies could not organize a pissup in a brewery." I see he does not understand who the Chemists who figured out the process, the Engineers who designed the works, and the Architects who designed the building most likely were. Right, he's a Psych Major.
LFA, HFA, Aspergers Syndrome, and more, are all called Aspies by Attwood. It is his word for all Autistics.
Cassandra Syndrome is a non scientific thing made up recently, and promoted by Attwood. Adult Autistics are to blame for all relationship problems.
There are books, tell alls, about women who married, stayed with for years, divorced, then claimed their emotional needs were not met. That is not only what most divorced women say, but what they say before getting married, and on their death bed.
No one has ever defined these "Emotional Needs." If they never got it it was not a need, it was a want.
Now Attwood is not with the Mercury Mafia, I have never heard he buys the vaccine link. He is most likely against the Autism Speaks view, of eradicating his customers.
Helen has said good things about the clinic.
Our differance is we adult Autistics are fighting for a place in the world for adult Autistics, and he is flippently harming our cause. There are many here in long term relationships, and Cassandra Syndrome does not affect their mates. He casts doom on our chances for marriage, a somewhat normal life, employment, based on one discredited woman's book about how it was all her exes fault.
Our side is, there are Autism hotspots, Round Rock Texas, Dell, Silicon Valley, Redmond, Washington, Microsoft. Secondary sites are all Universities.
Marriage is not a stable thing anymore. We do not need to add to the cause of breakup, or give stories to divorce lawyers.
Now I can understand the position of the Mercury Mafia and Autism Speaks, MONEY!
They are being fought in the press, Alex Plank has been featured in several good stories lately, giving a wider view of Autism. He speaks to important groups in Washington. An ad campain in New York, was stopped by Autistic activists. "Autism has kidnapped your child."
This is all very recent, and the tide is rising. Our story of Autism is getting out.
Helen has been posting video on adult Autistics that hold very high level positions.
Tony Attwood is a name, who without Science or reason, is making life harder for adult Autistics.
His treatment of children should lead to adult outcomes, yet he has nothing good to say about us?
Does he think he is treating hopeless cases? I will admit there are people disabled by Autism, but there are a lot more who are only hindered by it.
So here we have another, if you are not disabled, if the National Medical System will not pay, you are fakes. Someone is a fake, Why did he have to leave England, did it involve lawsuits, the Police?
We are adults who many of us discovered Autism late in life and it fits fifty years for me. A year or so ago I knew nothing, and thought Autistics just sat and rocked and liked spinning things.
I was in practical and applied Autism long before he was born. It is a personality and a skill set, and I made it work for me. It comes with Super Powers.
Most NT's, I would use a rolled up newspaper, but for Tony, a Patent, for like many Autistics, my thought is reconized. My books could get me charged with assult with intent to kill.
Now the New York woman who wrote, I think, "I married Mr. Spock" and started this Cassandra slander, has been discredited. It was anti-autism propaganda. It has never gained Scientifc or even Psychological creditability.
Tony Attwood is putting his name behind the concept. Frauds and charlatans like frauds and charlatans.
The friend of my enemy is my enemy. So I am rolling up the Patent. Dingo Breath is like that quack in New York, Autism is holding your child hostage. He stopped after getting a taste of adult autisitcs, and Tony is as good as on his way to a reeducation camp where we will use CBT.
While everyone else is fighting over money, we Adult Autistics are taking on the whole world for free, to make a better place for Autistic children, because we know well what we are talking about, what is at stake, and we care. We do have Super Powers, and the world is changing.
This is a debate with extreme polarity. Our detractors are spending millions on, "Kill them all". Others want to be paid millions for putting up with us. I am looking for some help with the last practical problems with Tesla's Death Ray, and anyone that only wants to kill half of them seems a moderate.
I voted to treat Attwood to ice water, electro convulsive shock, and Thorazine, but was out voted by the moderate underground of Autistics. If CBT fails, there is always burning at the stake. It was used on us for hundreds of years.
I have a great example of the Cassandra syndrome syndrome .
When I went in to for a DX of yes/no AS, it was for help with employment problems. After my first appointment I was given reading assignment of a book about AS and marriage/relationship problems. I told him that that was the only problem I didn't have. After several more appointments and the "offical DX" my partner of 5 yrears came to an appointment with me. Neither of us mentioned any relationship issues but he said that I should come in for relationship counseling but there was nothing he could offer in employment problems.
He seemed genuinly hurt that I didn't have a relationship problem with my partner and was being so stubborn about insisting that my problem was with employment and finding the right job for my particular traits . He said that my BF did appear to have a lot of AS triats and it just seemed to me that it disturbed his "mind set" that we actually loved each other and got a long great.
I realize this is just one example but I think it shows the problems that can occur, even for professionals, who believe their own hype. If we don't fit their preconceptions (based on information that starts and ends with "theory" and not "science" ), then we must be in denial. It felt a bit like going into a DR with a stake through my head and he wants to talk about the infection that I could get from the splinter in my thumb. There are many such assumptions being made about aspies...balck and white thinking, lack of creatiivity/theory of mind/empathy....all based on observations of LFA and tests done on 5 year old kids and misinterpretations about them. Then they look for any signs that can reafirm these false perceptions of our internal experiences and they ignore the things that "don't fit" their "gestalt of autism" and destort the things that do....it's bad science and lacks logic.
Any positives of AS are tacked on as an after thought and no one wants to talk about the disfunctions of the neurotypical functioning.
Given that 50% of marriages end in divorce, I would say relationship problems are not unique to AS. Neither is having a partner who doesn't meet your needs. The problem seems to be the way we are picking parnters based on presenting a false image and decieving the person about who we are and what we want...ie...dishonesty. That isn't normally an "aspie trait" but we can learn, if we read enough NT books...."How to win friends and influence people" ,"How to trick a mate into falling in love"..etc.
The real relationship problem appears to be picking a mate based on appearance or income rather then compatability and interests.
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Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
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So when Tony Attwood says, "Aspies could not organize a pissup in a brewery." I see he does not understand who the Chemists who figured out the process, the Engineers who designed the works, and the Architects who designed the building most likely were. Right, he's a Psych Major.
LFA, HFA, Aspergers Syndrome, and more, are all called Aspies by Attwood. It is his word for all Autistics.
FIRST of all, what pissup has EVER TRULY been organized? Still, it seems an easy, if fruitless, thing to do.
And he considers LFA to be AS!?! !?!? WOW! Why does ANYONE listen to him then?
Given that 50% of marriages end in divorce, I would say relationship problems are not unique to AS. Neither is having a partner who doesn't meet your needs. The problem seems to be the way we are picking parnters based on presenting a false image and decieving the person about who we are and what we want...ie...dishonesty. That isn't normally an "aspie trait" but we can learn, if we read enough NT books...."How to win friends and influence people" ,"How to trick a mate into falling in love"..etc.
The real relationship problem appears to be picking a mate based on appearance or income rather then compatability and interests.
I often speak of a movie "Clam Bake". It starts out with a guy that has EVERYTHING, but a woman, and a guy that has little, and wants to be rich. They start by singing a song where the RICH guy, ends it with "Who need's money? Not me!", but the other says "Who need's money? I do." Anyway, they switch identities, jobs, vehicles. In the end, the REAL rich guy ends up winning the woman that says "Oh well... I make some money... we can get by".
And frankly that is the way I would like to get a spouse. I'm not about to drive a fancy sports car, flash loads of cash, and show the a nice home, just to get married.
Too many marry just to help THEMSELVES, and then divorce.
Yes, V8 is quite handy in the lab. I've 'trained' V8 (sort-of) to carry certain items, where he walks about the lab. So there. V8 is my lab tech. He has a rhinestone leash too.
I'm reading, with eagerness, the recent posts. Still, I am a fan of Dr. Attwood - always. I realize he treats all with autism, not just the few. So his techniques are tailored for everyone, not one. At this time, I feel confident to state he's our biggest professional advocate. One may not agree with each and every venture he undertakes, but overall, he knows his stuff.
I read too his quote about "Autistics couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery." Well, yes. I am micro-organized, and maybe with an over-arching macro-organization, but somewhere in the middle it's hard.
btw, V8 is gloating about his YouTube video spot. In fact, if you must know, he's worried about being stormed by the paparazzi. Smelena offered to take care of him if he's feeling...vulnerable. But V8 takes his lab post seriously. Good V8.
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The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown
MAN, that is like saying you found life on another planet, and not even giving detail.
What do you mean by that? He wasn't nice to me or my mother at all when we talked to him.
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Controversy begins only where acceptance ends.
MAN, that is like saying you found life on another planet, and not even giving detail.
What do you mean by that? He wasn't nice to me or my mother at all when we talked to him.
OH, OK. You made it sound like he sounded stupid, had bad ideas, etc.... I meant NO offense to you. Just chiding because you said there were problems, and STOPPED.
SleepyDragon
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The point is not whether Attwood's a lovely bloke who radiates care and charisma, or not, but whether his strategies are helpful or not.
And obsessing on one throwaway line of his (the "pissup in a brewery" quote), to the point of making that the single point of identification with his entire body of work, seems petty to me.
Yes it is the point, if someone is horrible to me as he was then I lose respect for them. I attended a previous conference of his which was about adolescence with AS and I wasn't amazed by him at all, or his behaviour. I don't care if you don't take me seriously, I just have nothing nice to say about him and I have every right not to.
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Controversy begins only where acceptance ends.
And obsessing on one throwaway line of his (the "pissup in a brewery" quote), to the point of making that the single point of identification with his entire body of work, seems petty to me.
I have to agree with you, SleepyDragon. It's kind of ironic, but Inventor can make blanket statements (we learn later for sarcastic or satyric effect) like "All NTs are curbies," and few members challenge what he says even though most of us, I'd hope, realize that the statements go too far. Pluto had the courage to point it out. Initially, I was pretty horrified by some of Inventor's posts, but decided to keep on reading. If I took the "All NTs are curbies," statement as being WRONG and therefore EVERYTHING that Inventor says is WRONG, I'd be missing out on his considerable insight.
I see a double standard, and maybe it is just one of the hazards of ASDs, or perhaps, of being human. We would like others (often referred to as Neuro-Typical whether we know they are or not) to fit into a perfectly consistent framework of thought and action, yet we ourselves don't fit into the same, because absolute consistency and perfection are unattainable.
When I remember the times in my life when I have been wrong, or unkind, or illogical, or said stupid things, or (will stop here because it is a long list), I'm grateful that there were people who looked around the imperfections and gave me another chance.
Z
SleepyDragon
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Joined: 28 May 2007
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The same goes for me. "And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."
Equally, I have found out to my cost that simply because a person comes across as sincere, charming, warm, friendly, et cetera, this is not necessarily a guarantee that he or she has my best interests at heart.
Absolutely, and being able to tell the difference, or not being able to, I believe, is a significant contributor to why some of us have anxiety, depression, and live relatively isolated lives.
Z
Absolutely, and being able to tell the difference, or not being able to, I believe, is a significant contributor to why some of us have anxiety, depression, and live relatively isolated lives.
Z
With ME, there is a thin band. Anyone too friendly or mean gets branded as one NOT to trust!