First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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Okay, thanks for answering. No, I wouldn't trim my toenails in public. For some reason I never saw it as really gross or equal to something like picking your nose or trimming toenails on a bus. I'm not sure why. I thought my mum was exaggerating about it.

I have never been interested in demystifying NT-ness, unlike many NTs who are baffled by those of us who live at varying points on the AS Spectrum. My NT children have never been interested in figuring me out either. They have learned to accept me, as I have learned to accept them. A sort of truce.

Why is it that this thread has a Sticky icon but didn't show up at the top as a sticky before I posted in it? (not actually a question for NTs )

I'm new to this website. Please tell me what NT stands for? Thanks.

NT stands for neurotypical, i.e. having a brain whose wiring is generally considered within the range of normal.
It has been used as a catch-all term to describe anyone who isn't autistic, but generally it's not great to use it that way since no one with any real knowledge of neurology would call a schizophrenic neurotypical, yet they're not autistic either.

Personally I prefer the made-up term 'allistic', which refers to everyone who isn't autistic without reference to their neurological status.
That's just me though.

Welcome to WP!

Its not some social crime.

Its just not effective joke telling. Joke telling is a fine art.

You stay dead pan and build up tension as you tell your story. Then when you say the punchline the listener breaks the tension by laughing. If you laugh first at your punchline you break the tension before the audience does, and they dont laugh.

Greentea, I think this is a wonderful idea, but based on my own negative experiences, I don't think it will work if it is put into practice.

I am what you all call an "NT", and I have found that in asking questions to try to help myself to understand autism and to cope with being a caregiver for someone with autism, my questions and posts seeking emotional support and understanding are typically met with extreme hostility from those on the autism spectrum and their parents. Hostility from those on the spectrum and parents in response to my cries for help, emotional support, and comforting in the face of a disability that I am unfamiliar with and that has been hard for me to deal with - is not only unacceptable and disappointing, but is also why I have taken to hiding/lurking and do not publicly seek out help any longer from message boards such as this.

Obviously I have a need for support and guidance in navigating my situation, otherwise I wouldn't lurk. Obviously I CARE about the ASD person in my life or I wouldn't bother posting even here, even now. Yet when I ask a question, it gets met with hostility. Why should I bother helping people of a community who are nasty and hostile?

Unless those on the autism side of the camp are willing to allow NTs to express negative emotions in regards to the strain this disability puts on our lives, and to give us credit that we ARE trying to help you with your disability, while at the same time trying to live our own lives, not lose our minds, lose our jobs, go broke, or be denied our mental-and-emotional peace-and-harmony in order to accommodate your disability, then this idea will never work because NT questions or requests for emotional support will be met with hostility from those on the spectrum.

On the other hand, with a "teamwork" attitude of servitude towards each other, with only sincere attempt to support each others' concerns, queries, and burdens, and to strengthen each other so we can be the best we can be in our given roles (the NT caregiver role and the ASD person trying to do and achieve their best) this idea could work.

Last edited by pheynix on 14 Apr 2014, 9:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, that makes sense. I'm not a very good story teller, a couple years ago I had a friend who said I "sucked at telling stories". Not just because of the laughing thing but because I had trouble getting to the point before the other person got bored.

Here's one for the NTs: A couple weeks ago, a definitely-not-typical friend and I were discussing the prospects of sending letters around to our friends & influences.

What on earth is it like to receive a letter from a spectrumite?

I have no idea. I have never received a letter from a spectrumite. In fact, I haven't received a letter from anybody except my Mother for decades and I stopped receiving letters from her about 5 years ago when she discovered email.

Written letters are extremely rare amongst people with internet access. So rare that you will have a hard time finding people who are NT and have received letters from both spectrumites and non-spectrumites. Letter writing is pretty rare (after all, rare enough that you and your friend discussed it as a novel thing to do) and therefore letter receiving is also pretty rare.

I was looking for something like this last time I came on this site! I'm an NT who's doing a (topic chosen by me) research project on Asperger's/autism. It's kind of looking at the different views of autism (from Aspies and NTs) as well as the stereotyping of it. Is there anything people (anyone) think is important to have in a project like that?

Yes, I agree naturalplastic , but, speaking as a NT, daydreamer84 , I have picked at my face in public. It's kind of gross, so not excessively, but it's not the #1 thing on my "Never do this in public" or "people who do this are so gross" lists.

YES!! ! I would LOVE it if NTs could understand that "stupid" and smart can reside in the same body / brain!!

I have had people perceive me as intelligent----then, when I seem stupid to them----like, when I don't understand what they're saying to me----they get extremely angry and holler (fuss at) me. They'll say things like: "You're so smart---why do you act so stupid all-the-time? Do you think it's funny (or cute)?"

First of all: I have no control over what my brain "gets", or doesn't get. Second of all: Don't get angry at ME because you thought I was smart, and maybe put me on a pedestal, or something, and then I burst your bubble / fell-off that pedestal, or whatever----I didn't ask to be put on a pedestal.

There's also the one where I've done something stupid and the person felt sorry for me, thinking I was challenged, or whatever----then, sometime later, I bested them at something, and they got angry because they felt they'd been played.

Most aspies are VERY smart----even alot of lower-functioning ones----but, we're like anybody else, we're really smart at what we know----but, it doesn't mean we're "all-knowing".

I had an Aspie boss one time----ABSOLUTE GENIUS----but you couldn't get him to understand how the phone worked, no matter how many times you instructed him.

The only thing that I can figure why this "smart" / "stupid" "phenomenon" exists is because.....

You know how when a person is blind or deaf----and their other senses are heightened, like ten-fold? Well that's what I'm thinking is going-on with Aspies. If we are "diminished" in say: "the social graces", we're given an extraordinary ability of being able to tell you what's 3 X pi.

I've come across very FEW "hostile" Aspies----BUT, they are ones who have already been diagnosed / accepted who they are (even if they haven't been officially diagnosed). The best thing I can tell you is....

I'm thinking you are probably trying to be helpful, and have heard things like: "I know----I'm not stupid!" You have to get to know what are the person's strengths and weaknesses. Let's say you have a child Aspie for whom you must give care. If you want to color with them, ask: "Do you know how to color?" Don't just bring-out a coloring book and crayons and start teaching them. When a person is in a wheelchair, for instance, you can SEE what is their disability----when someone has a "brain thing", you canNOT. Even with people in wheelchairs I ask, FIRST, if they would like some help. Stop yourself, and just observe.

As for parents----they're a whole 'nother "animal". Too, too----TOO----many parents think that YOU think that their child's shortcomings are THEIR fault. Also, many parents over-react with regard to their children. I have seen many, MANY times a toddler walk across the floor and fall-----the child would be perfectly okay UNTIL they heard their MOTHER'S reaction (i.e. "Oh my baby---my poor baby---oh my goodness, did you hurt yourself----oh NO!"), and THEN started crying (the stupid mother probably SCARED them into crying!) So, maybe if you preface your question or concern with "I don't know alot about Autism, so if you could, please, I've got a couple of questions....."

Exactly what type of questions are you asking? I'm unable to give you advice without more information.

For people with AS... I have heard that people with AS have high levels of anxiety. I have a few questions about what that looks like.

Does you have anxiety the whole time or does it come and go?

Would you describe your anxiety as coming in short strong bursts, or in long lasting waves?