Is Aspergers trendy?

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Now you're just arguing for the sake of arguing.

How can you disagree that they had misconceptions about autism when you have no idea whatsoever about what they said? Nor do you know what I said. Yet you assume that they jumped on me because I was trying to diagnose the person (which I wasn't) and that they didn't have misconceptions.

Your reaction reminded me of my mother, when I was about 6 year old and a kid was picking on me at school and I didn't know what to do to make him stop, I told my mother, and her reaction was "if he's picking on you, you must have done something" lol (I hadn't done a dang thing), but she had no idea about what happened, nor did she know the other kid ... I never told her anything again after that.

And I did mention the misconceptions before your post.

So you can't read most of the post? Her last line is a generalisation about the misconceptions of autism amongst people. My opening line was my belief that they didn't like the pathologization of personality traits as autism - as I think it's over-diagnosed.

And I don't even know why I answered your question, because it had nothing to do with anything.



I still think my inference is correct, and they had the right be upset about it. Not everyone who is quirky or "different" has autistic traits.



Even if they have misconceptions about autism, which you haven't shown proof of as we haven't seen what they wrote. I still agree that you were projecting traits onto that person, which is one of the things you said that a poster said to you. Autism is a disability, so they were correct.



I was just using that as an example.

---

Obviously this: "but the whole thing made me realise that a lot of people still have a lot of misconceptions about autism", was in reference to the reaction of the people I mentioned in my post.

Yet again you don't know what I said, but you assume that this poster's assumption was correct, you don't know why exactly some people were upset, you don't know the context either, but you assume they had the right to be upset simply because I dared mention the person had certain traits.

And I don't need to show you any proof, they are good people even if they misunderstood what I meant, and I don't need to go into details, so just take my word for it (or don't), I didn't say anything that was actually insulting, in any way, unless taken the wrong way (which is why none of the people who are informed about Autism and Aspergers were upset, only the uninformed ones got upset) unless a person is misinformed and/or has misconceptions about autism, and unless they assumed that it was meant as something negative (which it wasn't).

And it was NOT a pathologization, my God you don't even know what I said! And you don't even know which traits I was referring to either. And I NEVER said that the person would be diagnosed with Autism.

And honestly, I have no idea why you jump on me like this.

And I did notice you used the word "quirky" ....

About whom are you speaking? Is "this person" who you keep saying you didn't mean to say would be diagnosed someone mentioned in this thread?

This person is a known person, so it is better if I don't say her name.

It was a rhetorical question, and I'm not really interested in having a discussion with someone who doesn't read posts carefully. Yes it matters how much of a post you read and how you comprehend it.

The key phrase you must have overlooked, or misinterpreted, was not in the last line but earlier in the post: "as if it was a total insult to have autistic traits." That is quite obviously speaking of people who have misconceptions about autism...unless you think it is acceptable to view it as insulting to have autistic traits, or to be viewed as having autistic traits (I don't agree so I view that as a total misconception).

Here I decided to show you the very first comment I replied to, maybe you will understand, maybe not, I don't know:

A person said (referring to this known person): "Some of her choices of words have made me cringe (the person gives an example of the other person's words here). Who speaks like this???"

(note that the person who posted this comment actually likes the person she was referring to)

This is when I mentioned my son has Aspergers and sometimes "speaks like this" (so do I, but anyway, I mentioned my son). And then I stupidly made the mistake of expressing more thoughts about this, not realising that some people might misunderstand my comments, and/or take them the wrong way, and I mentioned 1 or 2 other traits that I noticed, which were not meant as something negative, and I even said so, nor were they traits that are disabling. I also mentioned that I didn't mean the person would be diagnosed with Autism.

And this was the beginning of a long argument, with almost all the people in the forum involved, one way or the other. The same thing had happened before to another person who had also noticed the same thing (I didn't know this at the time, he mentioned it during the argument), he has a daughter or son who has Aspergers and had noticed the exact same traits I noticed, and he made the same mistake I made, he dared express his thoughts about it, and people got upset with him just like they did with me.

I am very much a visual, and I have always been interested in psychology as well, and I can't help myself I do notice traits of personality in others. Everything is fine now and things are back to normal, but like I said I realised that its better if I don't express my thoughts and mention Autism anywhere except here on WP, or when I reply to comments or articles specifically about Aspergers/Autism, I had no idea that my comment would cause such a reaction, I was completely surprised by this.

I gave my opinion. I'm not mentioning any more. Chill....



I have problems with reading comprehension and attention. Sue me.



None of us know if they actually felt that way because that's her assumption.

Thank you for the vote of confidence Acadia. And no, it was not an assumption, or if it was (but it wasn't) well I guess half the people on the forum shared this assumption since they were as upset as I was about the other people's comments about autism, and their reaction to my (and their) comments.

On the bright side, a few people mentioned their son or daughter who was autistic, and maybe the other ones ended up learning something. Maybe, all things considered, they will have a few less misconceptions or prejudices about autism in the future. There was even one who made a joke about Aspergers (called it Assburger) but really his comments weren't near as bad as some others, and he later apologised to me. Another one told me that when he saw all our posts during this argument, he had almost attacked (verbally, and on youtube) someone who has Aspergers, but that after reading our comments he changed his mind and decided not to be a jerk. So something positive still came out of this mess.

Yes, this is odd and the same happened in real life without the label, before my daughter was diagnosed her Aspie behavior was identified negatively and apparently I was to soak it up without complaint.

Such a contrast with the social rules as I then understood them, which at the time I thought were
1) one should not make negative comments about another persons mother
2) one should not make negative comments about another persons child or anything related to their child

Apparently these rules have exceptions, and as far as what I have seen if one's child has ASD, others are in fact socially permitted to make negative comments about one's child and oneself in front of the child. Though people try to disguise the latter some.

If I understand the situation, it would have been apparent to the people reading with any information about ASD that you were simply describing, perhaps even trying to be protective of the person whose choices of words someone is saying makes them cringe. And I would have assumed you were trying to protect or educate to make the world better because it is awful to see no one want to play with ones child, or even to imagine that if your child has many playmates, because of the ASD. So basically by criticizing your recognition of unusual communication style there was an implicit negativity toward anyone with an unusual communication style. Including, implicitly, your child. IMO.

I think some of the talk about people being over diagnosed and talk about some people "only" having anxiety or "only" being a bit socially off is internalized prejudice against---ourselves.

Not saying all of it. But a disorder is a disorder. People get so caught up in their beliefs ASD is bad they try to insist on it even though one needs to cope and live by accepting oneself. And loving one's children and considering who they are, not every behavior, but who they are, well, precious. And good.

And believing that you commit some kind of social crime by mentioning ASD, well, I really feel that represents internal prejudice within us reflecting the external prejudices that we are not as good, that we are defective. And while absolutely ASD is a disorder, is a disability, having a disorder/disability should not be allowed by itself to determine what someone is capable of in terms of whether one contributes something to this world, to other people, or whether one is a hopeless mistake which is to me an evil attitude based on ignorance that absolutely still exists and can't be fought directly, can only be corrected through repeated experience that this attitude is irrelevant.

To Waterfalls: You understood so well. Thank you!! !

Yes! that's exactly what happened, I was being protective of the person, trying to explain that my son spoke the same way sometimes, and after that I got nice replies from people who understood (either were informed and/or were familiar with autism) and had noticed the same traits in the person. But then we (me and the other people who agreed with me) got other replies that weren't so nice, and you know the rest of the story.

And yes, after some of the negative comments, I felt like they were not only attacking me (some because of their prejudices and misconceptions, others by directly calling me disabled, disrespectful, etc, different types of negative comments), and autism in general, but also my son, eventho they didn't intentionally, nor directly, attack him. And in that very first comment/reply, I had been very clear that I did not mean it was something negative or bad about the person (quite the opposite).

These people I am referring to are good people tho, even the ones who posted the negative comments, they are just uninformed about autism, and I hope that this big messy argument, eventho it was a pain, at least helped them understand a little bit more about autism.

It seem a lot of people don't realise that autism is not black and white, it is on a large spectrum, a spectrum that actually begins long before you have impairments significant enough to get a diagnosis. Some of our brain "circuits" are "off" (or even inexistant), others are "on" and longer, or have more "wires", than usual, and sometimes some circuits are even "joined" when they wouldn't be in a "normal" brain, but many of the traits are not actually disabling, and even the person who is not impaired enough to get diagnosed with autism can still can have some impairments, or talents, or simple differences from neurotypical people, that, apart from their personality itself (or whatever you would call it, their soul, their spirit), are sometimes also due to some "circuits" that are different from those a scientist would call "normal". Anyway sorry, I had to give a speech ... again LOL.

Again thank you, you really understood what happened, it was a relief to read your post (and it made me smile) because I didn't know how to explain anymore.

I thought I recognized a fellow fiercely protective parent. I wish for more acceptance for me and I so wish for it for my child who has ASD and so much to offer the world.

As parents we need to dream, and empower. Can't go along with negativity about diagnosis because it cannot work for us.

I thought you explained beautifully. Wish I'd had a mom like you, wish that for a lot of us. Someone who hopes and tries to create tolerance and acceptance.

I do think some of it is internalized prejudice/ableism. I also think some of it is legitimate fear of their real problems being marginalized or dismissed due the "socially awkward nerd" stereotype from widespread overdiagnosis. I have the same fear of marginalization or dismissal due to the PERCEPTION of widespread overdiagnosis as well fear that people who should get diagnosed won't get diagnosed because of the backlash. What is changed is now the overdiagnois view has the official endorsement of the DSM

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 01 Jun 2014, 3:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't know...I have PTSD and when you go into fight or flight mode or start feeling like you're reliving the traumatic thing you don't have a whole lot of impulse control. So yeah you could react 'violently' without control and not really knowing quite what you are doing, though that by no means people with PTSD should say its ok for them to be rude because they have PTSD....but yeah having this disorder can put you into panic mode and it can be hard to keep track of what is going on and irritability is a big symptom which can come off as rude.

I agree with you that the perception or even reality of over diagnosis is problematic.

I just don't see that encouraging an excluding attitude will address the problem of intolerance and prejudice against people who are different. Having fewer people diagnosed seems like it should cut down on the prejudice of the world where people say ASD is over diagnosed. But prejudice and intolerance existed when ASD was rarely diagnosed, I don't believe it's ever gone away, and I think complaints ASD is overdiagnosed really are another way complain about people who seem different and to say they should try harder and just go along, another way to justify intolerance.

I also think ASD can be overdiagnosed in some populations and under diagnosed in others. And that negativity about perceived or real over diagnosis hits hardest those in the under diagnosed segments of the population. I and my child are in the under recognized groups, so I take the complaints of overdiagnosis very personally. Doesn't mean I don't realize there could be overdiagnosis and it could have negative effect on all. Just means take very personally.

I hope I am wrong but I see the backlash as an attempt to go back to the way it was for the first few decades of my life where high functioning was unknown and we were were just lazy, faker, excuse makers etc. The Aspie identity movement has been successfully tarnished IMO, in a few years I believe people saying "on the spectrum" will be seen like Aspie is now, ie excuse makers, elitist etc that hurts people with "real autism". The backlash is fueled by money and by professionals who never believed in HFA/Aspergers in the first place IMO.