Optimism and Reality: Goldfish21 Response to me

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Right on, Goldfish. Try at least. Many don't and expect someone else to pick up the tab.

And now back to Lucy for a moment:







And a statistical analysis for our stats loving friends:



Now that's certainly an alternate experience of reality..

Cool-Goldfish

Hmm, this thread has me thinking..

As long as the weather forecast holds, I'm planning on spending NYE at the beach. The BEST beach most gorgeous beach here, Wreck Beach. Trek nearly 500 stairs down the cliffside through the rainforest to get there.. and it's the most beautiful surroundings of any beach here. It's also the most popular nude beach here. Miiiight be some new years skinny dippers, but that's besides the point. It's also a place where psychedelics can be had and if the weather holds just right to be down there all evening 'til late night I miiiiiight just partake. Hmmmm, time will tell if that's how my NYE goes.

Goldfish, I find the workplace especially the whole application process disconcerting, confusing and nonsensical. I live in a society, a world in which it is almost impossible to get assistance and guidance through the whole thing. In spite of my intelligence, I have been dealt a bad hand. Not as bad as others but the truth is I'm reliant on SSDI and others for my living. And, even if I have an excellent if one doesn't know how to play the game whatsoever then how can any hand be a good hand if I can't identify what a good hand is? What it comes down to is we aspies and auties are being forced to play someone else's game by someone else's rules that others will not and/or cannot explain to us. Contrary to this whole "never give up" philosophy that our capitalist world espouses sometimes the best thing to do is to fold one's cards and walk away from the poker table especially if continuation of playing the game will harm you more then it will help.

Let's take this further to non-disabled people more specifically college grads who did everything they were told to do as they were growing up and now they are either unemployed or working at low paying jobs with a huge college loan debt. What should they do? Continue to play the same game that they can't? The problem with the whole never give up, take responsibility for your life, pull oneself by his bootstraps philosophy is that in this sort of system it is the individuals fault and the fault isn't systemic. It is the individual's decisions that created their circumstances and not other factors beyond the individual's control and understanding.

What if more and more people quit and gave up (whether through suicide, welfare, SSDI, etc) because they came to the realization they couldn't achieve the American Dream? Then the system can't sustain itself and it either a. has to change or b. has to break down.

Folding your hand and playing another game is not the same as giving up which would be folding your hand and not trying something else. Perseveration is a common autistic trait and anxiety over change means we tend not to in the words of Kenny Rodgers “know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away, know when to run.”

Have you read my story that I've shared? I'm very sure I pm'd you a link. I'm not NT, I never will be, but - over the last 4-5 years I've gotten ever better at treating & controlling my symptoms and feeling "connected" when my brain & nervous system are firing optimally. The things others can't write a manual to explain to you, us, me, are things that come naturally & intuitively when I'm at my best.

At my worst ~ 6 years ago I could have given up & resigned myself to a life of misery, depression, anxiety, and unreached potential and signed up for welfare benefits.. wave the white flag and all that. But I couldn't. It's just not in me. I am extremely stubborn & REFUSED to accept that as my reality and lifelong fate. f**k that. I knew I wasn't always that bad so something must be causing it & thus it can be reversed via some sort of treatment. Figured it out, did it, life is night & day different for the better. I can work, play, make a little money, move forward with other goals etc. Sure, I still make mistakes.. but overall I am SO much better off. There is no "ah well, I give up" in me. That's why I have 4 headbands from completing the Tough Mudder in Whistler 4 out of the last 5 years. I Cannot quit. I accept that I got dealt the hand I did, but you bet your ass I'm gonna play that hand to the absolute best of my ability.

Systemic fraud is some kinda BS, I agree, however, it is what it is and people will figure out a way forward. Some more successfully than others. But those who accept their student loan reality soonest and then opt to trade their time for the most lucrative income they can earn will be able to work themselves out of it fastest. That's why I work construction with so many other university educated people. There's OK wages in construction and we can pay our bills vs sticking it out in the industries we studied for for lower pay. But yeah, there's a lot of pressure on a lot of people with that one.. but so what? Just because they have bills to pay doesn't mean they should just give up on everything in life.

I dunno if there are more people giving up in various ways right now or working ever harder towards dreams of making internet/cryptocurrency/fame etc millions. Maybe both? Either way, I'm pretty sure that nowhere in the American Dream is there a part where people just say f**k it and give up... so, people will continue to Try despite the obstacles in front of them, and some will succeed beyond their wildest dreams. Life will go on. There's no reason to believe we're to see a massive shift towards quitting and accepting mediocrity/poverty etc - especially since most people are NT's & most are quite competitive. The same age old truths will perpetuate.. survival of the fittest and all that.

Here is what I don't get. Let's say I did quit and chose to drop out. What I don't get is why people get so angry and upset. If I gave up then logically wouldn't there be less players others have to contend with. If I choose SSDI, welfare and/or suicide then do they not have more of a chance of winning since there is one less player in the game? Why isn't giving up a legitimate move is most people's eyes especially if it increases their chances of winning since there will be a bit more resources and more opportunities for them?

Possibly for a few different reasons.

Maybe they don't like seeing anyone give up as it spreads negativity and a give-up attitude to others?

Maybe we're all wired to encourage one another to succeed, to survive?

No one likes seeing anyone quit and give up. Hell, even in sports.. people would rather see their team win a hard fought win than the other team just give up. It's the competitive nature of people. People want to see others compete, strive for better, improve, grow, learn, change etc. No one takes any sort of joy in seeing someone mope about and be miserable instead of being happy working away on something that they enjoy. Especially if that person is close to them, friend/family member.

Just in general, though, people want to see people happy and working towards goals as then those vibes are spread & contagious instead of any sort of depressed pessimism that only serves to bring others down. What's good for you is good for others, too. We do have a collective consciousness, like many animals, and so it only makes sense that even strangers want to see people happy and productive vs. giving up as it affects everyone in some small way or another. The more happy healthy can-do vibe people out there, the easier it becomes for everyone else to reach their goals.. but if everyone's all sad and giving up all around you, that's a terrible influence - even from strangers at a distance, and thus is counter-productive to serving one's own rational self interest. People don't see a quitter as someone they no longer have to compete against, they see them as someone bringing down the herd so-to-speak and would rather see them vibrating at a higher frequency and bringing up the general mood all around them instead.

Call it woo woo new age all you want, but this is as I see it.

Well my friend. After my father showed me my mom's dead body I realized something. No matter what we do or don't do we all end up in the same place. When the sun becomes a red giant and Earth is swallowed all of our accomplishments and struggles are meaningless. Life is meaningless. Agent Smith from the matrix said "the purpose of life is to end." It makes perfect sense.

Sure, if you're extremely depressed.

Otherwise, how do you explain the time lapse between birth & death? Why exist at all if there is no purpose?

Some of us would rather Try to achieve something in our time here on Earth than just sit around waiting to die.

Plus it's a lot more fun Trying to do things, and achieving those goals, as well as having fun with sports & recreation etc than it is to sit around depressed for ~80 years waiting to become plant food.

I'd WAY rather enjoy that time than not. To each their own, feel free to be as miserable as you like, I'm still gonna choose to be happy & have fun.

I guess having fun is a good thing. I get enjoyment out of writing my fanfic.

And the Sun won't become a Red Giant for another billion years or so....

Better idea:

Wouldn't it be great if we could all dispense with this positivity BS and there were more services for those who are disabled that can help us to be independent. How about teach people how to catch a fish instead of telling the person that they need to believe they can catch the fish?

Example: Goldfish, you said you're in construction, right? How did you get into it? How did you pass the interviews? Did it have a personality test? How did you know what the correct answers were? On one test, I was asked if I believed life was not fair? How was I to answer that? I assume you had to do a resume and application. How did you do it correctly and present yourself in a good light? At the job itself, construction is physical labor. How are you able to keep up with the pace with the rest of the crew?

Another Example: At one job I had, I was fired for being to slow. In their two page rule book they never told me there was a speed. How was I supposed to know there was a speed and what the pace was?

Another thing, sometimes the best thing to do is to change things for yourself is to crash the airplane. Let's just say I'm going to do that.

Gotta laugh at that notion that people are inherently cooperative and will help you. Seldom been my experience.