24 Jun 2018, 1:09 pm
colton.s wrote:
not sure I'm doing this right never done this sorry if I did it in the wrong place
Ok, hope this all makes sense it is kind of long first my mom knows I'm on the net doing this. My mom just got married and my new stepbrother his is 6yr. has Autism and he is very Fixated or obsessive on certain objects. it seems to be just my stuff so guess that's my first question is this normal I guess I should explain more he will go in my room and if there is two books on my desk he takes one if I have two shirts the same color he takes one my socks he takes half same colors he even takes one of my shoes from each pair and hinds them and he can hind stuff very well or lines them on his table in his room when I can find my stuff like when he took my shoe I finally found it but when I came home from school and walked in he came up and started hitting me and tried to take my shoe he melts down I finaly just gave it to him he went to his room and then came back and pulled my shirt He all way comes up to me and pulls on my shirt when I come home then walks away not hard it is like to say hi he never looks at me or says anything just pulls my shirt and he stays in the room I'm in not close to me but in the room even when I'm in the back yard he comes out and does stuff but never close to me but he is there he will melt down if I have anything that matches on it is like he has to have half of what I have if I have two of the same thing if I wear a white sock and a black sock he is fine but two black ones he melts down until I give him one or even if I walk around with one shoe he is fine when we eat his plate has to have the same thing mine does I'm the only one he does this to I tried to talk to my stepdad about it but we end up in a fight because he says I don't understand just let him do it Mom is in the middle I know this all sounds weird I want to do the right thing if this is his normal but if he is a brat I don't want to make it worse I didn't mean that part bad anyways thanks and I hope this don't make anyone mad I'm lost and mom is too just looking for advise it like i'm on the outside looking in
Ok, hope this all makes sense it is kind of long first my mom knows I'm on the net doing this. My mom just got married and my new stepbrother his is 6yr. has Autism and he is very Fixated or obsessive on certain objects. it seems to be just my stuff so guess that's my first question is this normal I guess I should explain more he will go in my room and if there is two books on my desk he takes one if I have two shirts the same color he takes one my socks he takes half same colors he even takes one of my shoes from each pair and hinds them and he can hind stuff very well or lines them on his table in his room when I can find my stuff like when he took my shoe I finally found it but when I came home from school and walked in he came up and started hitting me and tried to take my shoe he melts down I finaly just gave it to him he went to his room and then came back and pulled my shirt He all way comes up to me and pulls on my shirt when I come home then walks away not hard it is like to say hi he never looks at me or says anything just pulls my shirt and he stays in the room I'm in not close to me but in the room even when I'm in the back yard he comes out and does stuff but never close to me but he is there he will melt down if I have anything that matches on it is like he has to have half of what I have if I have two of the same thing if I wear a white sock and a black sock he is fine but two black ones he melts down until I give him one or even if I walk around with one shoe he is fine when we eat his plate has to have the same thing mine does I'm the only one he does this to I tried to talk to my stepdad about it but we end up in a fight because he says I don't understand just let him do it Mom is in the middle I know this all sounds weird I want to do the right thing if this is his normal but if he is a brat I don't want to make it worse I didn't mean that part bad anyways thanks and I hope this don't make anyone mad I'm lost and mom is too just looking for advise it like i'm on the outside looking in
Hey there guy,
You know, ultimately none of us can see inside your new little brother's mind, so anything any of us can say is going to be a guess and you will need to use careful judgement talk to an adult about what you decide before YOU decide.
Whatever you decide remember this. Kindness is priceless and it shouldn't cost a thing so be kind even if it isn't always easy, and don't expect it to be easy...but also don't expect it to be impossible.
With that said, I am going to offer my BEST guesses at what it MIGHT BE, because I know that I don't know what it IS and so should you.
Now, prior to living with you, seems like he probably had the run of the place and most stuff was his if he wanted it to be, so it could well be that in part he isn't sure what is and isn't his in the place he lives anymore and is trying to work that out.
It could also be that he is trying to understand what it is to share a home. if a home for him has always been a large part "that place where I keep my stuff" then maybe it follows for him that sharing a home means sharing all the stuff.
it could also be that he is just trying to be your friend....as strange as that might be. He was probably told carefully that he was going to have a brother, is probably struggling to understand what that really means, he might be a little scared or confused, he might be trying to figure out if it is safe for him emotionally to believe that something happy happened.
it could be any of these things, it could be any combination of these things it could be all of these things...or something else. But the important thing to remember is this: What is true is not yet entirely decided
You play a role in what WILL be true and it's up to you to help him understand what a brother is.
Here's what i recommend. Share your stuff BEFORE he gets a chance to take it. See if there is some way to give his shirt a little tug that won't scare him to say "hi" back and don't sweat it if he doesn't look at you.
Might work...might not. if it doesn't work, take some time to think about why it might not have, come back and ask for more advice.
Can't hurt and good luck!
Congratulations on the new little brother!
24 Jun 2018, 1:23 pm
Spectral Aurtist wrote:
colton.s wrote:
not sure I'm doing this right never done this sorry if I did it in the wrong place
Ok, hope this all makes sense it is kind of long first my mom knows I'm on the net doing this. My mom just got married and my new stepbrother his is 6yr. has Autism and he is very Fixated or obsessive on certain objects. it seems to be just my stuff so guess that's my first question is this normal I guess I should explain more he will go in my room and if there is two books on my desk he takes one if I have two shirts the same color he takes one my socks he takes half same colors he even takes one of my shoes from each pair and hinds them and he can hind stuff very well or lines them on his table in his room when I can find my stuff like when he took my shoe I finally found it but when I came home from school and walked in he came up and started hitting me and tried to take my shoe he melts down I finaly just gave it to him he went to his room and then came back and pulled my shirt He all way comes up to me and pulls on my shirt when I come home then walks away not hard it is like to say hi he never looks at me or says anything just pulls my shirt and he stays in the room I'm in not close to me but in the room even when I'm in the back yard he comes out and does stuff but never close to me but he is there he will melt down if I have anything that matches on it is like he has to have half of what I have if I have two of the same thing if I wear a white sock and a black sock he is fine but two black ones he melts down until I give him one or even if I walk around with one shoe he is fine when we eat his plate has to have the same thing mine does I'm the only one he does this to I tried to talk to my stepdad about it but we end up in a fight because he says I don't understand just let him do it Mom is in the middle I know this all sounds weird I want to do the right thing if this is his normal but if he is a brat I don't want to make it worse I didn't mean that part bad anyways thanks and I hope this don't make anyone mad I'm lost and mom is too just looking for advise it like i'm on the outside looking in
Ok, hope this all makes sense it is kind of long first my mom knows I'm on the net doing this. My mom just got married and my new stepbrother his is 6yr. has Autism and he is very Fixated or obsessive on certain objects. it seems to be just my stuff so guess that's my first question is this normal I guess I should explain more he will go in my room and if there is two books on my desk he takes one if I have two shirts the same color he takes one my socks he takes half same colors he even takes one of my shoes from each pair and hinds them and he can hind stuff very well or lines them on his table in his room when I can find my stuff like when he took my shoe I finally found it but when I came home from school and walked in he came up and started hitting me and tried to take my shoe he melts down I finaly just gave it to him he went to his room and then came back and pulled my shirt He all way comes up to me and pulls on my shirt when I come home then walks away not hard it is like to say hi he never looks at me or says anything just pulls my shirt and he stays in the room I'm in not close to me but in the room even when I'm in the back yard he comes out and does stuff but never close to me but he is there he will melt down if I have anything that matches on it is like he has to have half of what I have if I have two of the same thing if I wear a white sock and a black sock he is fine but two black ones he melts down until I give him one or even if I walk around with one shoe he is fine when we eat his plate has to have the same thing mine does I'm the only one he does this to I tried to talk to my stepdad about it but we end up in a fight because he says I don't understand just let him do it Mom is in the middle I know this all sounds weird I want to do the right thing if this is his normal but if he is a brat I don't want to make it worse I didn't mean that part bad anyways thanks and I hope this don't make anyone mad I'm lost and mom is too just looking for advise it like i'm on the outside looking in
Hey there guy,
You know, ultimately none of us can see inside your new little brother's mind, so anything any of us can say is going to be a guess and you will need to use careful judgement talk to an adult about what you decide before YOU decide.
Whatever you decide remember this. Kindness is priceless and it shouldn't cost a thing so be kind even if it isn't always easy, and don't expect it to be easy...but also don't expect it to be impossible.
With that said, I am going to offer my BEST guesses at what it MIGHT BE, because I know that I don't know what it IS and so should you.
Now, prior to living with you, seems like he probably had the run of the place and most stuff was his if he wanted it to be, so it could well be that in part he isn't sure what is and isn't his in the place he lives anymore and is trying to work that out.
It could also be that he is trying to understand what it is to share a home. if a home for him has always been a large part "that place where I keep my stuff" then maybe it follows for him that sharing a home means sharing all the stuff.
it could also be that he is just trying to be your friend....as strange as that might be. He was probably told carefully that he was going to have a brother, is probably struggling to understand what that really means, he might be a little scared or confused, he might be trying to figure out if it is safe for him emotionally to believe that something happy happened.
it could be any of these things, it could be any combination of these things it could be all of these things...or something else. But the important thing to remember is this: What is true is not yet entirely decided
You play a role in what WILL be true and it's up to you to help him understand what a brother is.
Here's what i recommend. Share your stuff BEFORE he gets a chance to take it. See if there is some way to give his shirt a little tug that won't scare him to say "hi" back and don't sweat it if he doesn't look at you.
Might work...might not. if it doesn't work, take some time to think about why it might not have, come back and ask for more advice.
Can't hurt and good luck!
Congratulations on the new little brother!
Thanks after coming on here, I changed the way I did a lot of stuff I learned so much here the biggest thing I learned is most of the issues I have I created not JD,it is kind of like a sign I saw at a train crossing that said stop, look, listen I been the run, ignore,talk guy
24 Jun 2018, 1:34 pm
I love the train analogy. And the advice Spectral Autist gave you is excellent.
A lot of Autistic people have trouble with eye contact. For some people it can actually be painful. And also we have a different understanding of personal space sometimes so he might not know what personal space is comfortable for you or for other people. If I were you, I would encourage him to keep talking and expressing himself. This is really good. I would not worry too much about him looking down and standing too close. You can gently encourage him to stand a little further when he talks to you. You can say something like, "JD, please stand back a little. I will be able to listen to you better if you stand back." That way he is not feeling like he is being reprimanded for standing too close but he will be able to learn that it is helpful to stand back a little if he wants to be be heard and understood. You can also encourage him to make eye contact by gently saying, something like, "Can you show me your eyes?" And always thank him and praise him if he responds well. But don't force eye contact. It might actually be painful for him. And that is also something you guys can work on later. For now, we can rejoice that he has found his voice. 
24 Jun 2018, 1:52 pm
skibum wrote:
I love the train analogy. And the advice Spectral Autist gave you is excellent.
A lot of Autistic people have trouble with eye contact. For some people it can actually be painful. And also we have a different understanding of personal space sometimes so he might not know what personal space is comfortable for you or for other people. If I were you, I would encourage him to keep talking and expressing himself. This is really good. I would not worry too much about him looking down and standing too close. You can gently encourage him to stand a little further when he talks to you. You can say something like, "JD, please stand back a little. I will be able to listen to you better if you stand back." That way he is not feeling like he is being reprimanded for standing too close but he will be able to learn that it is helpful to stand back a little if he wants to be be heard and understood. You can also encourage him to make eye contact by gently saying, something like, "Can you show me your eyes?" And always thank him and praise him if he responds well. But don't force eye contact. It might actually be painful for him. And that is also something you guys can work on later. For now, we can rejoice that he has found his voice.
A lot of Autistic people have trouble with eye contact. For some people it can actually be painful. And also we have a different understanding of personal space sometimes so he might not know what personal space is comfortable for you or for other people. If I were you, I would encourage him to keep talking and expressing himself. This is really good. I would not worry too much about him looking down and standing too close. You can gently encourage him to stand a little further when he talks to you. You can say something like, "JD, please stand back a little. I will be able to listen to you better if you stand back." That way he is not feeling like he is being reprimanded for standing too close but he will be able to learn that it is helpful to stand back a little if he wants to be be heard and understood. You can also encourage him to make eye contact by gently saying, something like, "Can you show me your eyes?" And always thank him and praise him if he responds well. But don't force eye contact. It might actually be painful for him. And that is also something you guys can work on later. For now, we can rejoice that he has found his voice.
I will try that JD has not went south (had a meltdown mom hates that word) in almost a week I don't want to cause it. I have kind of just gave up on all the past stuff that caused him to go south and started new if that makes sense
24 Jun 2018, 2:03 pm
I understand. I think that is good to just start over. Tell mom that Go South is funny. I like it.
24 Jun 2018, 2:07 pm
skibum wrote:
I understand. I think that is good to just start over. Tell mom that Go South is funny. I like it.
she is kind of a redneck in a good way maybe should say country
24 Jun 2018, 2:17 pm
She sounds like a terrific person. She raised a terrific son.
24 Jun 2018, 2:23 pm
skibum wrote:
She sounds like a terrific person. She raised a terrific son.
She may argue that last part
24 Jun 2018, 3:18 pm
LOL!
24 Jun 2018, 4:58 pm
skibum wrote:
LOL!
24 Jun 2018, 5:01 pm
colton.s wrote:
skibum wrote:
LOL!
24 Jun 2018, 5:33 pm
skibum wrote:
colton.s wrote:
skibum wrote:
LOL!
mom says I'm evil brat LOL
24 Jun 2018, 5:41 pm
24 Jun 2018, 5:44 pm
24 Jun 2018, 8:01 pm
24 Jun 2018, 8:08 pm
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