The Autisnob

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I realized that there is a much stricter interpretation in some EU countries after I had lunch with a psychiatrist from the Netherlands two weeks ago. We've been acquainted through his daughter for over 10 years but have only seen each other three times, and his English is better than my Dutch. The subject of Asperger came up and he said (with a lot of arm gesturing), "Can't look at eyes, collects odd things, rocks back and forth." His daughter said that I was going to be evaluated and he said, "you don't have that, you can look at my eyes." I taught myself to look at eyes when I was 13, I collect 19th century furniture (its so fascinating!), and I rarely "stim" in public, but I got the feeling that I wouldn't be diagnosed as having AS in the Netherlands because superficially and publicly I don't show all of the traits.

Z

That is unreliable as an indicator since he cannot know whether you were looking at his eyes and receiving the information or just making it look like you were looking when in fact your brain was elsewhere. Also, its possible to look at eyes as parts of a face without actually looking into them as part of social intercourse, and, as you say, we can learn to make it look like we are doing it, most useful that is too

Yup!

Z

Fluent speech SHOULD mean relatively easy and reasonably quick proper response to standard questions. It goes beyond mere speaking. You are german, so you probably experienced the same thing. You learned english, and maybe spoke it quickly. It took time, that is rarely instantaneous, and may NEVER happen, to get to where you could walk into an area where they are speaking english, and communicate.



This IS odd. My mother remembered "interests" I never even remembered as interests, though I WAS very interested in them. My first MAJOR interest I can remember was like when I was 3.



They're open to interpretation anyway.

1. I had to change my avatar because someone else started using the same one. This one is a bit more fierce.

2. Anbuend, I'm so very happy you're around, because you are so experienced in these matters and so articulate about them. I've been hungry on and off for fifteen years but I'd never actually starved before last year. I'm sorry other people live through similar and worse, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I mention this also because I've been rather hungry for the past few weeks (not quite starving though) so that's my excuse if my mind doesn't seem as sharp as usual.

3. On self-diagnosis and level of functioning.

a) It makes no sense to me that people would feel offended that other people whose situations don't resemble their own make use of this site and benefit from it. I don't talk much on WP but I've probably said more here in the past six months than I have elsewhere during the previous 35 years (not counting plugging things in, which I do daily, I'm talking about self-expression). Most of what I know about communication and relationships I've learnt here as well. How does that take anything away from those who don't like self-diagnoses?

b) I don't know anything about mental health professionals but I've been to see GPs a few times (when pushed) and if it's a man it usually involves some form of sexual harassment, ranging from the mildly inappropriate (using "penetrate" and "penetration" repeatedly in conversation) to the gross ("I'm actually a gyneacologist, don't you have any problems of that nature I could help you with?") I've moved around a lot so I haven't been able to see the same one. Some people have good experiences with doctors but I haven't, so that's not a place I would turn to for help or support.

Another reason I don't turn to doctors is that I've been interested in naturopathic medicine for ten years and although I've only known about ASDs for a year and a half my perspective inevitably builds on that experience. When I self-diagnosed I went to the local AS centres and one of the women was nice enough to talk to me without an appointment and answered my questions. I was extremely distressed at the time. There is a waiting list so getting an appointment would take at least a year and a half and the benefit of that would be therapy, which I have no interest in. Also, this was after two months of reading about it, and I'd learnt that ASDs are sometimes associated with food intolerance, which I have a long history of, so I asked her about that and she'd never heard about it. To her, ASDs are strictly a mental health problem. I don't share that view, therefore I have no wish to participate in their activities.

c) I don't identify myself as either AS or autistic. I identify myself as having an autistic brain without the usual emotional/behavioural problems. I don't know how common this is but surely only those people who have problems are detected, so there could be millions of autistic brains living conventional lives and noone would ever know. I very much doubt I'm one in a billion. I don't know what Attwood would call me, and it doesn't make any difference to me. I am what I am because of what it is to ME. I decide what it means and if it's good or bad, for me.

d) I had an extremely sheltered childhood and have been bullied by my family as an adult. It is rather unusual for people to experience both extremes. If my life as an adult had followed the same routine as my childhood, I would probably have been able to figure out how to have a career and relationships. Instead I've been figuring out how to stay alive. Conversely, if my childhood had resembled my adult life, I would be a total wreck, heavily medicated, in an abusive marriage, or both.

This is the life I've got, I try to appreciate it, and I make the most of those opportunities I can spot for myself, usually very small ones. What's important is to let go of the rigid and preconceived notions of how things should be, what the typical successful person's life would be like, and instead focus on what's happening in the particular situation that I inhabit. By any objective standard I'm a total failure. But I know what I've done, and what I'm thinking I'll be able to do, so I'm proud of it.

e) Western medicine is not the sum total of human experience. It's a scientific construct. A marine biologist doesn't know everything about life in the oceans, she knows what's been discovered so far. Similarly, an autism expert only knows what's been said. So far. That may be very useful and very applicable in some situations, and very much not in others. Everybody has to navigate the situation they're in, nobody can successfully navigate the situation they're told they should be in. Believe me, I know.

That's what I don't understand either.

I mean, I keep hearing the idea that somehow we'll all be contaminated by people who either aren't identical in experience to ourselves, or aren't given some kind of seal of approval by the medical profession.

I actually find that kind of offensive. I don't need to be protected from conversation with people who either are different from me or aren't involved with the medical profession in such a way as to get diagnosis. (It's very possible to have any kind of autism and be undiagnosed, something that a lot of people don't grasp.) I don't need to be kept in some kind of protective shell where only the most medical of information gets through. It's ridiculous and it assumes people can't decide things for ourselves.

Thank you for writing this Irisrises. I agree with you. In the last couple of years I've learned how destructive it is for me to compare myself to others. What matters is that I try to be the best I can be with my abilities, and that is enough for me to be happy with myself.

Z

irisrises,

I DOUBT you are a complete failure by ANY objective standard. Both of you said this well. I feel the SAME. All I can do is try to be the best *I* can be. Some would consider ME a failure in some areas. SO WHAT!?

Yup!

Z

Another trait of Autisnob:
They are over-against any organization or any attempt that seek for a cure for Autism and they say something like :"I DN'T WANT A CURE ,I AM SO SPESSHULLLLL". They don't want to give a chance for autistic people who really want to be get rid of their autism's symptoms, they speak in the name of all autistics as if their s**t doesn't stink.

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 20 Apr 2008, 9:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Considering the way they talk, etc... do you REALLY think organizations like "autism speaks" are looking for a cure!?!?!? I DOUBT IT! I think everyone realizes there are LFA people, etc... and would love to see THEM get help, etc...

Then again, your quote didn't make it sound like you were talking about someone that was all that high functioning.

Thanks guys.

I'm not really that hard on myself. Probably instead of "objective" standard I should say STANDARD standard. If I'd been able to live up to that, I wouldn't have been able to become this, though, which at the end of the day I think is a more interesting addition to the world. (Necessity is the mother of invention etc.)

I should say also I cried a little when I saw I got such nice responses. Very good feeling.

That's what we're here for - not necessarily the crying, but the good feeling and the crying if it is the good kind.

Z

2ukenkerl,
there are HF WPers who are against the idea of cures through choice and any sort of cure for the lowest functioning of the lowest functioning up to HF [any of the spectrum],they say it's because it will make them look bad/force cures on them,if they went through LF just for a day they might see the idea in a different way.


Agreed with LePetitPrince, am hate it when some users try to force their extreme anti cure belief onto am,or go trolling others and other forums who dont have their belief,it's not nice.

But wouldn't it be nice to have someone that REALLY cared, rather than companies that seem to just be spending money to make more, and get bigger? I think about the only large company that fights what seemed to be a losing battle at first is st judes. I hate to say I HATED "that girl". But STILL, I LOVE Marlo Thomas and her father(Danny) for building st judes! Marlo thomas basically inadvertently got a young woman dropped from a show but, as I recall, got her back for another show. I hated THAT show TOO, but that woman(Mary Tyler Moore) went on to help get money for diabetes. Of course, THAT one shows promise from the outset! I DOUBT I will say such a thing about any of the existing autism charities "trying to find a cure"!

I'm not against a cure, I am against SCAMMERS using it to make money!