glider18's Wonderful World of Autism

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How are you doing, glider? It's been awhile since we've heard from you. Are you feeling less depressed?

Hi fiddlerpianist. I've been posting some---on vacation right now at the beach. I've been intending to work on my novel some. Actually I've been posting here more than I thought I would since school has been out. Probably the biggest challenge right now is not feeling inspired enough to get my projects done. But I have the desire to want to do them.

Focusing on good things is what keeps me going. Many of those good things are things brought about by my autism---those special intense interests. I can absorb into them and feel better. So right now I am trying to get motivated again.

How have you been doing? I really enjoy your music.

Something that would be good for me is to find someone interested enough in traditional amusement parks that would like to plan model amusement parks along with me. I have this model layout in the basement that I want to complete, but I would like to find someone else online who is doing the same thing with a model---that would be a lot of fun.

But the communication with others who support my view of the positives of autism like you is wonderful for me. So I truly thank those of you who have supported my postings.

Thanks glider. Saying that makes my confidence soar, it's thanks to God. Without him I'm nothing.

Being 1/256 black is intriguing indeed, especially if you're related to Thomas Jefferson. Now ever since Obama became president the hate groups want to attack people who're not like them--mainly Jews and Blacks. This breaks my heart knowing that some people still adhere to the ideas of Hitler when they probably don't even know that Hitler had Jewish ancestry. I just have to pray to God to help me get through these times. I've never been discriminated in my life, but I know someday I will, and i have to prepare for it.

Anyways one way autism helped me was by making me inspired to a totally different inspiration. Most people look at movies, outdoors, daily lives, etc. in their writing. Me, however, I look towards anime openings. Sounds weird, but it's actually useful. When I look at it, I visualize every character, every action, every setting, then download the full version of the song (the opening is about a minute and thirty second--possibly shorter, possibly longer.) Then as I listen to the full version of the songs I put my own characters in there doing every action every other character was doing. This way, if I make a spell or a place for the characters to fight or whatever, I can add it to my novel or poem, but make it mine so I'm not plagerizing in any way. No way does an opening show the plot, story, or places (well most of the time with places.) This way if something intrigues me in the opening I can use it in some way.
Sounds weird, but works for me.

I'll show you what I mean by first showing you this opening from Mega Man X3 (sorry, the music's in Japanese, but it's actually good. Really):

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVrZPmRASsY[/youtube]

Here are some things I'm inspired when I watch this:

Underwater battle: I like the concept of X (blue robot) fighting the octopus and the giant robotic beast coming out. In my version the octopus would be one of my antagonists while X would be my main character. The giant robotic sea serpent would be replaced by my antagonist's pet. Since I like the sea as the battleground I'll add that to my novel and use it any way I can, but I also like the part where X destroyed the beast and it toppled the antagonist. I can add this to my story, but I have to use it differently, like in a different setting apart from the sea. It'll work well for my story.

Vile (purple Boba Fett-looking robot): I usually don't want to put a Vile-like character in my novel, although I like him, but I'm inspired by him because of his weapon--the shoulder cannon. This could be one of my weapons for the good guys or bad guys, considering whose character fit well with it. I would change the way how it's used, like make it a shoulder flamethrower or and elemental cannon.

X's second transformation: This one I loosely took because my main character doesn't transform, but I like it because this is how he defeats Sigma (bald robot.) Instead of having my main character transform, I could let him summon a creature that'll defeat him.

Inside the castle: I like this because it can be where my main antagonist stays or someone else lives since the genocide or mass extinction. The character would most likely be a scientist since the place look scientific. Outside the castle doesn't work for me, so I have to use a different setting for it.

Sigma's Transformation: I like Sigma's reaction to X transforming. I like it and want to use it in my novel, but I want a circumstance to when he can use it. Plus I want the transformation to be vastly different for my character. I can use this for any character, but mostly I want my main antagonist to transform.

Being inspired by anime openings doesn't restrict you in any way. In fact, they make you more flexible and give you options on how to use them in your story. People won't see these as rip-offs to the other videos, but one has to be careful. This is how Autism helps me with inspirations. It's not weird; it's different.

Batz---I think that's a wonderful idea in utilizing the anime openings. I follow you in that it is not plagiarizing, but rather a way to inspire you. When I taught English, I often had my students try to imagine a movie coming on, and then playing them an instrumental song selection. They were to try to visualize what they thought the movie would be about---then they would write. I think this is similar to your idea. But your idea is more unique.

Speaking of being black and hoping not to be discrimated against---let me share my family. When my great great grandmother (who was 1/16 black and baseborn) married my great great grandfather, it caused a scandal. This would have been in the mid-1800s I think. It was said later that it was because she was baseborn, but it was found out that it was probably because she was part black. It is sad at how some people discriminate. She is one of my ancestors that I would have most like to have met. I truly believe she carried the autism gene into my life. Even at 1/16 black, she didn't appear black from the one photo I have of her. But it is interesting that my cousin, who is also 1/256 black, has black features. In fact, when he was a child in the early 1960's, he was discriminated against and asked to leave an all-white public swimming pool. I have blond hair and am very fair-skinned. He has black hair and is dark-skinned. But his parents both had quite white looking features. His father was of Italian descent and did look somewhat like the typical Italian.

I am proud of the cultural heritage that I am made of. In addition to the 1/256 black, I am English, Irish, Dutch, Mohawk Indian, and who knows what else. My Dutch ancestors married Mohawk Indians. I have always tried to imagine what the offspring looked like---blond headed Indians ? They were known as the Merry Woggeloms (Woggelom can be spelled various ways).

I agree totally with your statement of giving thanks to God. That is my belief too---without Him, I am nothing. Thank you so much for communicating with me---you don't know how much it helps me.

glider18

I'm proud of my heritage too, glider. I'm mostly (about 95%) African-American and have a little bit of Cherokee and Irish blood in me. To bad I only know up to my great grandma from mom's side of the family. I should go to ancestry.com to see if I can trace my ancestry. They might have a DNA test for this purpose, but I can't afford it right now.

glider18 wrote

By this you mean it's entirely different from the other poems you've read, right? I mean not written in the same way as the majority? Like it as if I'm speaking to you face to face in a unique way, or having that voice to pick up emotions? If not, I understand. Just wondering. Thanks

Last edited by Batz on 23 Jun 2009, 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Being an aspie, if I get overwhelmed or bored, I can easily take a break into my own little world whereby an NT is stuck in the situation.

Creativity and ability to absorb information such as being able to learn lectures easier in college than anyone else.

Yes, your poems are different. It does sound like you are speaking to me face to face---because you are expressing your true inner feelings in such a personal way. Your poetry is speaking from your heart/emotions. The poetry I would usually get from students was not from their heart, but about things they may have liked, but things that weren't so personal to them. But you show a maturity in your poetry that makes it sound like the work of some published poet. I truly feel like you have the gift in your poetry. It is different. It reads well---it flows well---and it is deep. It is the type of poetry that should be read more than once. You seem to have imbedded deep thought into it. It is fun to read because there are in-depth meanings in it. And from your poetry, the reader gets to know you/the author in a more personal way.

That is so true about being able to absorb into our own little worlds. That definitely gets me through some boring times in life. And yes, I too found lectures in college easy to absorb. And I too am creative. Thank you for sharing. Please post more on here anytime about your gifts, etc. I have now added you to the list of those of us who find positives in autism.

Glider18
Garyww
SpongeBobRocksMao
Millie
Pensieve
DeLoreanDude
GeomAsp
BobTheMartian
Inventor
Sunshower
Outlier
Poopylungstuffing
Morgana
Fiddlerpianist
WaterWater
AnAutisticMind
Starr
Scorpileo
ProfessorX
Danielismyname (your poetry is a gift whether you think so or not)
CanyonWind
Sora (I think you have described autistic gifts in your life whether you realize it or not)
Itsallrosie
Gaya
Dustintorch
Ghfreak13579
TheDoctor82
Lionesss
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo (in finding something positive about social aloofness)
Dianitapilla
Lita101 (I added your name because you stated that you want to find the good things in autism---that is positive)
Batz
Joshandspot
Prim8
SteveeVader
Tory_canuck

This one is an experimental poem I've written before graduation. It's not about autism, but about one of my favorite subjects--anime. To the majority, it might sound weird, but to me it sounds like a gem. Open-form poem. I unwillfully made the shape of the poem in the way you'll see in a few seconds, so it might look like a jumbled mess, and I think it has that emotion, but I want the readers to find out for themselves. Ignore the ratings and comments: some of them were made before I revised it to this version. Has some or implies to sexual content somewhat. Well, enjoy:

Tales of a Memory

Very clever indeed---excellent job. I love your variety of style. I think you should organize all your poems into an anthology that seperates them according to themes. So you could have one section dealing with autism, another on anime, and etc. Then, add more poems as you write them to create your own poetry book---then try to publish it. You might even be able to find a way to illustrate it. I have never tried the open-form, but it is most intriguing when done properly like you have done. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you glider. I sometimes get anxious when I finish a poem because I'll never know the people's reaction. Seeing you liking it helps me out a lot.

I have one more poem, just for today. It's about my favorite female video game character of all time--Iris from Mega Man X4 (even though I don't play current video games anymore because they have no personality these days, so this game is retro (PSone.) Every time I hear her name or see a picture of her I just cry because she dies in the game when all actuality the person who kills her could've been her partner for life. Just shows how much I was into her then and into her now. So to make sure I got emotional I printed a few pictures of her. Glad it helped. This poem kind of have my personal experience added in it. Here goes:
[/b]



How could I forget?

Through the plains
In Artemis’ reign
I tread along the balloon flowers path,
Along Demeter’s land
Through the city—
The metropolis—
I stroll across the streets,
Past malls
Filled with many people
And many robots
Wait!
Hold on!
I’ve never treaded along this place
These people I’ve never seen before,
Yet somehow,
Someway,
Why are they familiar
To me,
To my soul?
“Come, I’ll show you,” a voice says
“I’ll make you remember.”
And I look
To see a girl,
Hair like a silky snake
And caps a beret on her head,
Tugging my arm,
Grasping me as if I was her date
She glares at me,
Or I glare at her,
And those emeralds,
Those eyes
Radiates and warms my heart
And her face,
One that surpasses Aphrodite,
Causes me to blush
She looks familiar
I’ve seen her before,
So how come I can’t remember her?
“C’mon,” she says
And I follow
Past the people
Down the street
And stop,
Halt
There lay before us
A pile of rubble,
Man’s erosion
“Why are we here?” I say,
And she says, “Ssssshhhh…”
She pats me on the shoulder,
Smiles like a kitten
“Don’t you remember?
Have you forgotten?
This is where you found me
After the robotic dragon attacked.”
Robotic dragon?
When did I fight that?
Must be playing head games with me
Or just a crazy girl.
“Sorry, I… I don’t remember.”
And her smile deflates
She shakes her head
“C’mon.”
And I walk with her,
Her hand
Gripping mine’s
Past the slums
And to the skyscrapers
Filled with giant construction
And animal-like robots
The door slides open
Or we push it, one of the two,
And we enter
This room,
This place
Seems somewhat familiar
With its chart of the earth
And pictures of animal robots
“This is where you took command
And saw to it the job gets done with me.”
Job getting done?
Hmmm…
Memories rush through my head,
But little traces of this place pops through.
“I sorta remember.”
And she rubs my head,
Slides it through my hair.
“Good.
Now we’re getting somewhere.”
And she pulls my arm once more
“Hey!” I say
“What are you doing?”
And she turns to face me,
Innocent
A puppy’s face.
“C’mon. Just one more place.”
“All right,” I say,
So we scurried out the building
She points up
“A space station?” I say.
“No”
And I look closer
Is that a laser jutting out of a space station?
“What is it?”
“Final Weapon”
I look at her face,
The head of the rose
Struggling,
Wavering,
And I could see tears streaming down her cheeks
(Well, if she could cry I would.)
“That’s… That’s where you killed me even though hic—“
“Even though what?” I say.
She glares at me,
Her eyes,
Her jades
Half concealed
Yet glistening in the night.
“Even though… You’re wistful to protect me.”
I killing her?
And a memory pops in my mind—
The memory of a red robot
Screaming,
Saddened
By his loss,
By her death
A deluge of tears,
A river of snot
Streams from my face,
And my head hangs low like a soldier
Hic
Hic
Sniff
“I remember.”
And I embrace her,
My tears landing on her shoulders
Reflecting the moonlight
She pats my back,
Caresses my head as if I was silk
“I know.”
How could I forget
The year 21XX
Or X’s life?
How could I forget
The mavericks,
But most of all
(And my heart smiles when saying it),
How could I forget you,
Zero’s maiden—
Iris?

Another great poem Batz---you have a most interesting style. This poem definitely makes you want to continue reading in order to see how it ends. And again, it has deep emotion that is clearly exhibited. It reads well and without any awkwardness in the wording and phrasing---excellent job.

About how many poems have you written? And if you were to put them into an anthology, what would be the themed sections (autism, anime, etc.)?

Thank you for sharing these poems. I have enjoyed them greatly.

Thanks glider. When emotions dwell within you, nothing but expressing yourself through the the arts, including literature, can transfer them from the artist to the audience, like this poem. I feel better now, and I'm glad I wrote about a character from one of my interests. Actually, any of my interests would do fine for me, especially if they're put into an anthology. If I make one, it'll mostly be about autism, but i'll add a good amount of my other interests too for variety and to let people know that autistics can have fun. Some personal experience would work too.

Speaking of how many poems... not that many to tell you the truth (actually, I've became obssessed over poetry since May, so not that many poems as of now.) I'm going to write at least one every weekday so I can get that amount. Of course there will be days where I can't write poetry because of events, but at least I can use these as inspirations.

A terrible event happened today in a summer program I'm attending. Not to me, but to this other boy. Well the other kids picked on him, saying different hurtful things to him. Sadly two of my friends were a part of this. I knew this was happening across from me, but I had to fix a clay-and-straw buoy model since it sank in my water-filled bottle. I got finished and returned, and they still picked on him. They were talking about the ghetto and how he would been shot and other stuff. I felt like everything they said to him hurt me as well, since I had the same experience about his age (he's maybe in the 6th, 8th grade.) The other kids asked me what was wrong, and I said, "nothing," but I should have said something, at least stop the other children from bullying him. So after the program I demanded my friends (that's right, no if, ands, or buts) to apologize to him the next day, and I explained how he was like me back in middle school.

He said he hated everyone because they picked on him, and I can understand that, having experienced it myself. I hated everyone except for a couple people during middle school, and this was because they harassed me, especially when they thought I was gay since I said I like this one boy (and even he believed them) when in reality I said like him as if he was a friend. I annoyed them, but what they thought of me as annoying, I really wanted to make friends with them. To them, I was weird, and the teachers scolding me and never intervening caused more problems in my life. In other words, they didn't care about me. I was just misunderstood. Note this was before I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, although I was diagnosed with ADHD at the time.

Middle schoolers can be immature sometimes, and they show this by making fun of someone whose different from them like the boy. I can relate to him, even if I met him today because of the events that occurred today. I talked with him a little, talked about Eragon, even played with him in this one game, and to me he's just misunderstood like me. People don't want xenophobia in their lives, and when it comes they shun the ones who are different or tease them. He has two friends, and I see they respect him very much. I respect them as well. In fact though I treat anyone as my friend, no matter how esoteric your interests are or how different you drees and act. The inside's what counts, and I want to be his friend. I think I'll go talk to him tomorrow, maybe let him read one of my autism poems. I mean, God has given everyone has a purpose, and the autism poems can help just about anyone, not just autistic people. I just have to tweak it a bit to see it fit his situation or, better yet, create a new poem from scratch. Actually, Variation or the Human Spectrum works just fine with his situation. I'll print up a copy and give it to him tomorrow. I know it'll make him feel better.

If you see any other way I can make him fell better, just let me know. Thanks for reading this.

Batz---that is a tough situation indeed. Being different can be so frustrating. I moved my oldest son from his home school district to the school district where I teach because he was being picked on. And the teachers there wouldn't do anything much about it. So now, he is right around the corner from me, literally. And I had to approach a teacher just before school was out for summer break because some students were picking on him in art class---and the teacher got on him because he was keeping his head down during class. He was doing it to avoid the teasing. So I told her what I thought about the situation and she agreed to be more understanding of him.

But gee---I know where you are coming from with this boy. There are so many ways of trying to deal with it. I think your approach is a good one---it will help him. I just hope the bullying stops. Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. And if you were to go to the teacher, or the principal, about it---it could make things worse. Even as a teacher of 21 years, I don't know the best way to deal with this. It would definitely seem to make you question your friends that are bullying him. I guess you should deal with it day by day. So start with the poem for him, and go from there. I will say a prayer for him.

Oh yes---middle schoolers can be so amazingly immature. I teach high school gifted students, but I know about middle school age---that is where my oldest son is. He is different in ways (a doctor thought he was ADHD, but I don't know for sure). And he has had his share of being picked on. Fortunately at the school where I teach, things are better---but not perfect. Things are never perfect. But there is no excuse for bullying---none.

Please keep me informed on this.

Batz: You are very talented. Your anime opening song interpretations are very unique. You should one day find someone that makes anime theme music use your interpretations to make your own anime openings, and maybe sell that idea to any anime show creators.

I guess I see special interests in a practical way - how one could use their interest to make a career out of it. I've been plagued with unemployment my whole life so I've decided to write fantasy /sci-fi stories in hope that I can get them published and make a little profit from it. Before I said I wanted to write screenplays but now I'm seriously thinking about writing a book for ages 12-14.
I value my alone time because I just think of more and more things to add to the book. I've even thought of a little plot for the sequel.
I don't want to say much but the main character is on the spectrum.