First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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Thank you for the reply, it was very clarifying. Your description does sound very exhausting! I wonder, is it much less exhausting to interact socially with other people on the spectrum, or do other problems present themselves in those cases?

Hello,

A dynamic discussion thread from Neurotypicals (NTs) in the 'In-Depth Adult Life' discussion Forum is necessary.

Simply put, quite a few people with Aspergers (AS) (including myself) have benefitted from thoughtful NeuroTypicals (NTs). An (NTs) experience with "the real world" can boost the progress of those with (AS); as many people with (AS) have difficulties with "real world" involvement.


Thank-you

Hello! Is there any topic in particular under that subheading that you think would benefit from NT input?

Social skills and making friends would be a main concern in 'AS/NT' relationships. The 'Social Skills and Making Friends' Forum on WrongPlanet is a Forum that needs contributions from (NTs).

I had begun a discussion-thread in the 'In-Depth Adult Life' Forum 'NeuroTypical Experiences Needed!'

NeuroTypical experiences, advice etc. on WrongPlanet can "break the ice so to speak!"

(It is very probable that I have AS, very mild) - I was not self-injurious, however if I became extremely upset, I would shake horribly and I would "shut down" and walk away or remove myself from a situation. I did not like shouting or fighting. My mother would bring me out of it by rubbing my head (she was extremely loving and patient and that's the first thing I remember about her).

My son is AS and when he was non-verbal, he would hit his head against the nearest wall if he couldn't express his needs or wants. This was short-lived as he could understand everything we were saying to him, but it was just the times he couldn't express himself. I would hold him and rub his back and put my hands over his ears or hand him his bear or "blankie". It helped that we had pictures or things or routines he regularly did. Picture of a bed for bedtime, bathtub for bath time and so on. We used a picture schedule and he became less frustrated so the self-injury pretty much disappeared. Only recently (he is growing out of childhood and is adolescent) he has started to become somewhat self injurious in the fact that he slaps himself if he gets frustrated with himself. He is noticing he is different and hates it. It is only when he is extremely upset. I started to take him to see our friend who is a therapist and we all work through his challenges and try to figure out coping mechanisms. It's stressful to see him so frustrated and have low-self esteem. I just remind him that there are going to be times in this world when people are not going to like or understand us (a challenge all people have at some point) and to remember that he must judge if or not certain peoples' opinions are worth listening to.

Sorry for the novel, but I hope this helps. Some parents feel alone in having a child on the spectrum, but the truth is, there are more people who are in the same "boat" as far as parenting. Loving and supporting your child is the best thing a parent can do, and I feel like being on both sides (a parent of an AS child and highly likely AS myself) has afforded me a perspective that helps guide my thoughts and approach to parenting. Many times if I find myself getting frustrated as a parent, then I quickly remember things I experienced growing up and I find myself understanding a bit more and consider my son's perspective.

Hi Monkey, Although I think I have some form of AS (very very mild) I have never been diagnosed (never evaluated) so I feel like I can answer this question in some capacity. I tend to notice people who are Aspies quite often because I am also a parent of a child with AS. I think the first thing I notice is the social aspect although some are quite adept at holding a conversation if they have had repeated practice and experience. I also notice when AS people are talking about a particular area of interest as they seem to become less hindered by conversation as they are "in the zone" when referring to their area of interest or expertise. An example is that I work with several coworkers who are AS (one is definitely (we know the diagnosis for sure) and the other is most likely. One works in one department and he is very methodical about how he approaches his duties. He is known to use a mnemonic system to remember names and things. He also wears a weighted vest when driving. He is will tell us he is AS and he is the hardest worker in his department. The other coworker, whose diagnosis is unknown, is extremely knowledgeable in his line of work. He can recall research and studies from memory and he is very much "in the zone" when discussing his line of work with people. When it comes to socializing, he stutters and tries to find the "right words and actions". He seems to become uncomfortable with someone who is not forthright with him and he must "decode" their words or behavior.
Both people are very good at what they do and they are quite respected at work.
I guess it helps to be a mother or a child with AS and also have some similar issues in my own life.

I lack significant social experience with other people on the spectrum. A former boss with whom I got on quite well has Aspergers and tried unsuccessfully to tell me I did too... Two people I consider friends at work surprised me when I disclosed to them by telling me that they were not surprised to hear this from me and also suspected themselves of being on the spectrum. It may be that there are some common perspectives that helped form our friendship.

But even with people I consider friends, I am never confident of the status of the relationship and often find socializing exhausting.

Hello,

It's great that this discussion thread has been kept up-to-date over the past five-plus years.

The discussion thread (LINK) I initiated 'NeuroTypical Experiences Needed' in the 'In-Depth Adult-Life' Forum offers perspectives on "taking those first difficult steps" to develop friendships. One concern is that opportunities for AS/NT relationships are too often left to "chance and accident."

Boosting participation of neurotypicals on "Wrong-Planet" may "break the ice" so to speak!

With the holiday season (with social gatherings) now upon us, many people with Aspergers (including myself) are naturally feeling that extra-consideration of how to meet the challenges of social skills.

(LINK) viewtopic.php?f=32&t=270981

Thank-you

That does sound like a very energy-draining experience, thank you for explaining so well.

Hi Here!

I am new to this forum, so I may have gotten some things wrong. I agree with you that NT and AS people have a lot to gain from understanding eachother better. I must admit though, that I as a NT, and a newbie, do not feel entirely comfortable with the idea of postning my perspective in many of the threads here, unless it is specifically requested.

The reason for this is that this forum is mainly a support forum for people on the spectrum, this is "your" territory and I am the "impostor" here. I am here to learn from you, so that I can be a better companion and parent to the people in my life who are on the spectrum. This thread feels like a "safe" place to do this. And if someone directly asked for an NT perspective concerning a specific issue elsewhere, I would be happy to answer.

But if I were to simply post my views in some of the places you suggested I'm afraid I would only be "butting in", perhaps giving unsolicited advice and possibly annoying and/or offending people.

What do you other guys think, does this make sense, or am I completely wrong?

Hi, September Butterfly - and welcome!

You are certainly not butting in! This is a thread made specifically to give NT´s and Aspies a chance to talk and ask each other about things.
Nt´s are in demand here , - and don´t hesitate to start threads or participate.

Hello September,

Welcome to the Forum! Thank-you for your response, and empathizing with the concerns of WrongPlanet members.

The LINK to the 'Neurotypical Experiences Needed' , and this long-supported thread are good places to determine how feedback from NTs will be considered! viewtopic.php?f=32&t=270981

Many people with Aspergers want, and need perspectives from NTs.

Hello September,

Welcome to the Forum! Thank-you for your response, and empathizing with the concerns of WrongPlanet members.

The LINK to the 'Neurotypical Experiences Needed' , and this long-supported thread are good places to determine how feedback from NTs will be considered! viewtopic.php?f=32&t=270981

Many people with Aspergers want, and need perspectives from NTs.

glad it was useful! i'll try and keep track of misunderstandings/miscommunications we have, and the AS-to-NT/NT-to-AS bridge that would have been needed, and post them in a bit

I personally find this format absolutely unworkable - because there are overlapping topics in the same thread and it's way, way too long for me to want to sort through.

If this idea is to work well, there probably needs to be a sub-forum as there is for other specific topics.

Just my thoughts.

Hello,

I'm encouraging further discussions on NT/AS friendships in the 'Neurotypical Experiences Needed' thread in the 'In-Depth Adult Life' Forum; a thread that encourages focused discussions on AS/NT friendships, in a thread that has (as of this writing) received only a few responses: viewtopic.php?f=32&t=270981

One example I've discussed concerns how the holiday season (now upon us) of "hectic get-togethers" brings opportunities to reassess how people with (AS) interact with (NTs), and vice-versa.

Great idea Elkclan to have a specialized Forum; as there are active discussions on NT/AS relationships on WrongPlanet.