You Might be an Aspie if...

Post Reply New Topic

Why do people say that a clock is five minutes fast? If it is fast in any amount, then the difference between the time shown and the actual time would constantly grow larger, rather than be fixed at five minutes. Why don't they just say what it is? It's five minutes ahead.

At Primary School, when I was about 7 or 8, we were playing a schoolyard game. I think we were having footraces. This was during recess. I said, jokingly, "Whoever comes first wins a Holden Astra!" At this point, one girl got really annoyed. I asked her, "Don't you like Holden Astras?" She replied, "I don't know what a Holden Astra is," and she stormed off in a typically 8-year-old girl kind of way. I didn't understand. How could she not know what a Holden Astra was? After all, I knew what a Holden Astra was, and if I know it, that means everyone else knows it. Because it's obvious that all the world's information comes from the people, and goes to me. I saw a Holden Astra advertized on the TV the previous night, so it had to be common knowledge.

I recognize myself in almost everything, especially replacing the teacher, computer-related stuff and when they ask in the fast-food restaurant "if you want the usual?" although for me it's not fast-food but a coffeeshop where they even call me mr. latte machiato

Try going to a deli where they call you "The Meatloaf King."

Something like this happened to me once. In Year 4, there were a series of Maths tests, each with 20 questions, that the teacher gave us. Whenever we got full marks, we progressed to the next level up. I was neck and neck with the highest in the class, and she marked one answer wrong because she didn't believe that my "1" was really a "1" and not actually a "7". I told her it was a "1", but she said, "It looks like a seven to me." This made me so angry.

Teacher: "What did I just say?"

Me: "What did I just say."

She was asking for it anyway. This is the same teacher that I mentioned in the above post.

You wonder why the Titanic was considered to be unsinkable even though the designers knew that it could not hold more than four compartments full of water without sinking.

ymbaai:

your waitress already knows what you're going to order before you open your mouth

You watch a show about the coming collapse of Civilization due to Global Warming and depletion of fossil fuels, and think it would be cool if it happens and you hope to live long enough to see most of it.

I decided if it happened, it would probably be best to eek out an existence eating bugs bugs, what plants are edible, squirrels, doves, stray dogs and such, because any place where there are stores of food there will be idiots with guns guarding it. Wait at least three years for the chaos to settled down before trying to contact others

You constantly live between this world and many others; and have discussions with others which are 'not there' to everyone else.

You might be an aspie if:

*People think you don't understand social norms - in turn, you claim they don't understand it either, you just have the guts to admit they're silly.

*People think you're naive when it comes to social situations. You think people are naive when it comes to advertising/propaganda (logical fallacies and all that...).

*People say you're disordered, because you have less needs - you can stay alone for too long, or do the same things.

*You fail to understand why "thinking too much" is a bad thing.

*You fail to understand why "you always got something to say!" is a bad thing.

*You like maps, but only the ones with borders and colours.

*You have to diagnose yourself, because in order to be "officially" diagnosed you have to talk to people.

*You have to diagnose yourself, because in order to be "officially" diagnosed you have to be touched by people.

*Your mobile phone is always set to "silent".

*Your mobile phone bill is 90% text-messages, 10% calls.

*You only get compliments about your fashion style when it's original.

*You only get criticism about your fashion style when it's original.

You might be an Aspie if your family has heard so much about one of your interests that they can almost sound competent talking about the difference between American and Eastern European style tubas, neither of which interests them at all.

"My feet are killing me!"

You might be an Aspie if you go around singing a song to yourself...

You'd rather stay home and watch old videos on YouTube, than walk around your neighbourhood, in the dark, after supper.

YMBAAI your so-called best friend has no idea if you are truly a friend or NOT because you have a horrible habit of not returning phone calls, emails and texts for days or weeks on end.

you might be an Aspie if you notice typo's in class and spend at least 5 minutes telling yourself how stupid someone must be and then announcing it to the class

YMBAAI You can name the entire track list of every album along with the year released and composer of each song of your favourite band

YMBAAI You prefer British spellings of certain words, for instance, faeries, favourite, colour, etc.

YMBAAI you were able to not turn in a single homework assignment in science, showed up only on test days, and still somehow passed!