"The Asperger's Stare"

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Numerous lil dipshits have had the nerve to ask me "what the f**k are you looking at?"

Numerous ass holes had the nerve to tell me "don't look at me that way" or "look at me when I am talking to you"




Doctor Butler wrote "eye contact:. Poor" on the progress notes


Idiots are so entitled that they truly believe that they have a moral right to get whatever they want and if they are not happy, someone must have violated their stupidass "rights"

You might be overthinking it; they're not thinking of rights being violated, they just think you're rude for failing to observe 'standard' social protocol. While you're under no obligation to observe those protocols, it's perfectly normal for them to conclude that you're choosing not to because they can't conceive of how folks with ASD might struggle in that regard.

That's pretty common for me. They say I have a "cold" or scary stare. For me it's just the stare of someone who looks inside more than outside. I believe that our inner world is much more interesting than the inner world of a standard NT.

I can exhibit a blank stare. This often happens when I separate my body from my mind and put my body on autopilot. That allows me to delve deeply into my thoughts.

NTs communicate not only with words but also with their eyes. They are able to look into a persons eyes and detect whether they are a friend or foe almost instantly. When they detect friendly eyes their bodies automatically release a surge of the hormone oxytocin into their blood stream which provides a bonding element to the person they are making eye contact with. But NTs find it difficult to interpret the eyes of an Aspie. Often they misinterpret our inner thoughts and feelings.

For that reason, I have begun wearing blue mirrored lens glasses. It is like looking through a one way mirror. They cannot see my eyes and misinterpret my thoughts. I project the color blue (Blue is peaceful, tranquil and symbolizes loyalty. Blue is reliable and responsible. It exhibits inner security and confidence.) I get a much more friendly reaction from people when I wear these glasses.

The glasses sound super cool jimmy m!
One of my close aspie friends has just completed a "soft skills" course which dealt with engaging with and maintaining eye contact among other things. He has really beautiful blue eyes and I always enjoy looking in them, and was never bothered by the fact that he didn't always look directly at me. For me, when I am good friends with someone there is a sense of trust and intimacy which seems to not necessitate me measuring their facial expressions, eye contact or tone of voice against some scale of "normalcy." I just trust their hearts somehow and everything works well.
Anyway, my friend came to visit me ( he is a young guy, an ex student) and announced that he had completed this course and locked his eyes in mine for what seemed like an eternity with such an intense effort that it resembled a contest of "who will blink first." It seemed such a massive effort for him and actually I prefer his natural self to this penetrating stare. I just said "wonderful" because who wants to deflate someone's happiness when they have worked so hard to achieve something?

I don't mind the aspie stare at all because I know some aspies just function better that way. I know though that some NT's can't deal with it, which forces aspies to modify themselves to fit in.
My friend is working very hard to improve himself so he can find a girlfriend. I really hope he succeeds. I am saddened by the fact that he seems to think that he needs to fix himself in order to be "acceptable" enough to get a girlfriend but I understand his deep need.
I myself am not autistic but when I look in someone's eyes I am rarely able to identify the bad guys unfortunately because they are such talented manipulators.
Initial eye contact with strangers reminds me for some reason of the way that animals smell each other's bottoms, checking if the territory is safe. Animals are probably more well equipped to sniff out a predator than I am myself unfortunately.

Have to train your nose?


May be this was wrong because he doesn't learns it the right way then. He needs to check both eyes alternating to prevent such staring and to think nice of you. (viewtopic.php?f=3&t=368901&start=30#p8054848 ) So he did try to stare instead of enjoying it and to relax and your empathy caused you to look a nearly the same way back at him.

Yeah.

I figured he has 2 very awesome, streetwise older sisters who will set him straight in a flash. He came to visit me last weekend and lo and behold! No steely eyelock.

Extreme, regarding training my nose, not a bad idea. What do you suggest, bottoms or sniffing a persons general surrounding scent to start with? Just kidding.

I'm running with the latter like a fireman.
The former suggests a degree of familiarity and intimacy they might not appreciate.

This is even more difficult for NTs than for aspies because most of the manipulations are counting on deep empathy and emotions. Manipulating people are counting on your empathy well knowing that you are willingly to share emotions they pretend to have. There seems to be a shortcut in the brain of NTs that says "Nobody feels a way if the reason to feel this way doesn't truly exists.". This causes them to stop validating the reason.

Once you see people to panic then you feel panic too instead of looking whether there is a the reason to panic at all first. I would feel nothing but wonder about why they are the panicing and look for the reason of it and decide on my own how to deal with the situation. Staying cool and emotional uneffected but being into fun are qualities that count a lot once it comes to men.