The worst thing a bully has done to you

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It really does amaze me how universal and ubiquitous and constant and consistent
autistic bullying seems.

Although, I remember before I realized I was AS too I would see other autistic people get bullied or hear about it, and think- well they are weird so they deserve it and get REALLY upset but then think- well at least it wasn't me and they probably did something to deserve it so they are really just getting their just desserts. (projecting...)

I even remember this one time I met some other autistic guy through a school program, but he was more obvious with his stimming and stuff (or rather he didn't NOT stimm around NTs like I did) he was unapologetically and openly autistic and told people he was upfront. I was like OMG WHAT THE f**k ARE YOU DOING NOOO YOU CAN"T LET THEM KNOW! (I didn't know I was AS at the time I just inherently felt this revulsion that he wasn't trying harder to hide himself & cover-up like I was.....because didn't he know that got you f****d up! )

When I didn't know I was AS I would bully other autistic people- I really hated them/myself. The more open they were the more I hated them. I was like- YOU CAN'T DO THAT; YOU'RE BREAKING THE UNWRITTEN RULE
I would freak out every time... like if I'm not allowed you aren't either. Terrible I know.
Thankfully I'm above that now...

It's like the saying: you hate those who most remind you of yourself. <- YEP.

If u count parents as bullies then they made my life a living hell as a child by being marginally close to physical violence, but did get hit by the mother for unintentional mistakes I made but who doesn't or didn't anyway. They couldn't ground me because I never went out so they cut my power (each room had a power switch linked to the main switcher) so I couldn't watch TV or go on the computer. My siblings never got punished or got far less punishments than I did even though they framed me for most problems that they caused because I could never talk my way out of those situations. At the time, the computer was the only thing preventing me from going insane, without it my life would be meaningless, as it would be today.

In situations like school in the past, the school bus was the only thing I hated in the entire world, a living nightmare, which made me unable to sleep most nights, no one cared that I had anxiety (hence the parent problem), remained quiet but in turn made me more susceptible to attacks from bullies. There hasn't been any severe physical harrassments from any sort of bully just the usual push and shove and no fights because back then I had no knowledge of combat, training or anything to help defend myself.

Note to self: your haters are just pathetic trolls and the negative things they say mean nothing. They only say these things because they are trying to make you feel like the worst person in the world.

Hmm... aside from the usual name-calling and tripping-up in corridors and general exclusion... well I've been peed on; jumped on knee-first into my stomach when lying down in a playground; scissor-kicked during PE, resulting in a short black-out; I've had eggs, stones and rock-hard "snow balls" (more like ice balls) thrown at me maliciously; people have abused my openness and odd behaviours for their own personal amusement, treating me like some sort of performing monkey; I've had a screwdriver I was quite fond of dropped down a sewage grate... there's quite likely a load more things that I can't recall off the top of my head, but school was NOT a fun time.

This isn't the worst but definitely the strangest. When I was in high school the teacher left the room and 2 of my classmates got up and walked up to me, held me down and started taping me to my chair. It was just scotch tape so it wasn't really hard to get out of, but the whole thing was really embarrassing because everyone saw it. The teacher came back as I was getting the rest of the tape off of me asking what happened and I was too ashamed to answer. Later on, about a year later I was in a group project with one of the boys that did it and he said he was really worried I was going to tell on him. Didn't really know what to say.

Its not the worst but it left the longest impression, being jabbed on a regular basis by sharpened HB pencils in the legs under the table in school, I was 7 at the time.

My 2nd grade teacher was my worst bully. With aspergers its hard to listen, and I had problems with my neck(Look down too long and it cramps it happens with everyone) So I set the book upright so it covered my face. At the end of the time, she made fun of how I read my book IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS! Embarrasing. Then at the park at the end of the year, She gave everyone but me a Fudgesicle except me, and everyone was supossed to get one. I MEAN IT SHE SAID THAT BEFORE WE LEFT! She was rude.

I must have broken a mirror in 2008. I mean, from 2009-March 2016, I was made fun of a lot. This situation is over now, but the aftermath is still going on.

Here is a song I dedicate to the people who laughed at me for 7 years. They said things such as that I am a slut, that I am lazy, that I am a preppy b***h, and that I have a really bad attention span.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu1aQvm5MrU

A bunch of thoughtless jackasses made my existence in high school pure misery for five years, basically had no confidence whatsoever because of daily skirmishes, pretty much wrecked my mental health which ended up with me failing university because I never dealt with it and went through college barely speaking a word to anyone due to undiagnosed autism problems on top of it all, so have a lot to thank those idiots for!

There was this kid who bullied me from the time I was in Grade 2 until he was permanently expelled the beginning weeks of Grade 7. When I was in Grade 6 he told me to stick a kitchen knife through my chest, the next week he asked why my parents didn't have an abortion when they were pregnant with me. I was thrilled when I found out he got expelled.

Most of the bullying was just verbal, although the worst was in the 7th grade, where I had gum put in my hair on a nearly daily basis, and my bag dumped out in class. Even then, it was more verbal than anything, and one reason I was bullied besides being "different" is that my parents weren't raising me to be racist, which was a huge problem in the city we lived in at the time. At the time that city was incorporated, they banned anyone who wasn't white from buying homes in the city, and while that ban was eventually lifted, there was still a lot of racism going on. Sometime when I was in elementary school, some parents tried to get the city to form its own school district because the districts the schools were in were too diverse for them. As I wasn't being raised to be racist, I often played with the Black and Hispanic kids, which was one of the reasons I was bullied. The other reasons were that I wore glasses, and I was often pulled out of class to get speech therapy as I was labeled as having a learning disability.

I'd still say that the worst bully was a second grade teacher, and it was so bad, my parents had me switch classes, where there really weren't any more issues with teachers. Basically, that teacher expected kids to sit like statues in class, and I was too fidgety for her, so I was constantly in trouble. Now that I think about it, I might have had a particular stim, although I didn't get diagnosed with Asperger's until I was nearly 30. She even said to my mom that I needed to be put on Ritalin or some other medication, which is what ultimately led to me being put in another class. That teacher was the only person to suggest medication, but chances are she retired before I finished elementary school as she was getting towards that age.