So I posted in the infamous AS partners forum for NT's...

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As far as I understand it, the marrow is probably one of the most nutritious components of any animal product.

I would agree: WP's raison d'etre is not for the purposes of NT-bashing. It's a place where people on the Spectrum, and their allies, could find a place to converse, socialize, have fun, be witty, commiserate with others, and, perhaps, even vent.

I don't know it the difficulty in eating for me is because of autism.
It has been reported that I have it since been born, it is like no ignition for being hungry, and I got diagnosed with anorexia as well, but I was in no way obsessed with calories or any, there is just no ignition signal inside.
Sometimes from smell of food, but when you have to prepare it for yourself, you have to create the ignition smell yourself, so for me it is really hard without outside ignition and also with outside ignition, as it not always ignite feeling being hungry.
But I do smile somtimes.
But I do not like being bullied about it from family.

I don't like it that you're bullied, either.

You don't deserve it.

You deserve to eat good food, and enjoy it.

I am working on it and I have new psych-assessment for it as it can be due to a dissociative disorder as well, but it needs to be determined, but end of February I have an assessment again, not for autism as I saw the lady already last week with support worker and autism is clear, she said it already, but there are things inside me working which cannot be explained by autism alone, and maybe food-problem is one of them.

The food problem could be part of the mosaic, Eloa. It is for me and my family.

I do not understand what you are writing, especially 2nd sentance.
I am sorry for not understanding it.

You are entirely missing the point. The difference is between saying "I know an NT who is <XYZ>" and "NT's are <XYZ>". If you have no issue with it here, why complain about it in the other forum? It is what they are doing.
Maz

It doesn't matter to me whether a site has the purpose of bashing a group of people or not.
Bashing is bashing, regardless of the purpose of the site.
As I said earlier, most of the negative generalizations of NTs are less emotionally intense than the same things about autistic people (or more likely "autistic people" due to frequent crappy amateur other-diagnosis by disgruntled spouses), but the bland variety is no better in my opinion.

Quote: The difference is between saying "I know an NT who is <XYZ>" and "NT's are <XYZ>"

Yes, that's exactly the difference, and it's of central importance in this discussion, it's the focal point of reality in this discussion. Hope that Elkclan meditates on it a bit.

Ha! I was hoping people here could meditate on it a bit too.

I like this site. I don't want it to end up like AS partners.
Maz

It makes more sense to me to say I know a person who is XYZ or does XYZ.

Am I the only person here who does not think aspartners is a hate site?

I've been lurking over there and a lot of their complaints are of things I know I am guilty of in relationships (and not just because I'm a dufus, but because of my autism.) Some of them are sympathetic and have autistic children.

I don't like spending too much time over there as it is a reminder of past and likely future failures. But it's a legitimate forum for people to share experiences.

Is Al-Anon a hate group against alcoholics? I don't think so. People in our lives are affected by our ways of being, even if they are a result of autism.

The comparison with Al-Anon is very invalid IMO, because Al-Anon's central focus is on healing their members - not focusing on past grievances. 12 Step groups generally advocate stopping obsessive focus on "what they did to me" and to focus on recovery "what I can do to recover and start being part of the solution instead of the problem". Members have to stop whining and start healing, that's what AS hate sites do NOT do.

True that their approach is different, but both exist to support families of those dealing with challenges. I think their method as you describe does not make them hateful. No matter how painful it might be for someone with autism to read.

Reaction to people who bash aspies, we're not saying that about all NT's.



I don't think that anyone here seriously believes ASPartners has a eugenics program.



Where (satire doesn't count)? I don't think it's as pervasive here as you seem to think but regardless, even if there are some people here who write some disparaging things about NT's, it's little more than internet hot air with no real-world consequences to the NT's because we're the ones who have to live in a society dominated by NT's. On the other hand, what do you think happens to us if society believes that we're like sociopaths or that we're likely to go on mass shooting sprees (even that's not really true)?



Actually, all adults have the right to enter into and form romantic relationships, marry and choose whether or not to have children:



http://www.worldsexology.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/declaration_of_sexual_rights_sep03_2014.pdf

The problem is that you're confusing the right to form relationships with forcing other people to have relationships with you. The right to make ones own decisions with regards to relationships and sexuality includes the right to choose not have a relationship with a particular person if one doesn't want to but that person still has the right to look for and have relationships with other people even if you don't want to have relationship with them. Your quote in that ASPartners thread to the OP suggests that he should never be in a relationship simply because he has difficulty reading non-verbal emotional cues and body language:



So, apparently sexual rights don't apply to people with ASD. Guess what, they do apply. That includes the right to learn the social skills needed to date (because as for most social things, they don't always come naturally to us) and the right to use those social skills to establish romantic relationships, regardless of any "deficit". In any case, if some people in relationships share emotions in different way, what's wrong with that?

The sentiment by some people on that forum that our learning of the social skills needed to establish romantic relationships is some sort of evil "bait and switch" tactic used to "trick" unsuspecting NT's into having relationships with us is also an ableist assumption. I would personally much rather tell a potential GF in the beginning of a relationship that I have AS than wait until 30 years into the marriage to do it. Ever thought that maybe the reason why your husbands didn't tell you was because since the AS diagnosis wasn't available at the time, they didn't know about it either?

I don't think ASPartners is a hate site. I think it is a support site for people who have been through a difficult situation and their situations draw enough similarities that they have bonded over the one thing causing those similarities (AS). They may be misguided but I do not think it's a hate site.

I do think there is NT bashing/ generalising on WP, but I have to say that I have been surprised and impressed overall by the limited amount of it. People on here are pretty good.

I do not think it matters which group is dominant when it comes to bashing or ridiculing. IMO saying all NTs are stupid (which I have seen said on here, though I don't have a link, and I already acknowledged it happens less than one would expect) is just as bad as saying all autistic people are stupid. I also don't buy the whole "you can't be racist against white people" thing- you definitely can be racist against white people (I know nobody has said that on here, but it's something I've heard before).

Ostracising of tall people (similar to ostracising skinny people) became my pet-peeve when I met my husband actually- because he is extremely tall, and it is unbelievable the amount of attention this gets. I understand that being tall is socially considered to be a good thing, but nobody wants to feel like they are "freaks"! People regularly go, "Oh my God, you are so TALL, I can't believe how tall you are, does the air feel different up there? How do you buy clothes? I just can't get over it, you're so freaking tall. It must be so weird towering over everyone! Have you applied for guinness book of world records?... [and on and on]" (every single one of those are actual comments I have heard said to him). They do it even though they can tell he is uncomfortable. Can you imagine if someone did that with a really short person? Drives me nuts.