You Might be an Aspie if...

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People ask "What's making everything shake?"

And you then realize it's you leg bouncing.

Got my number!

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

Here are a few unhappy ones. I'm in that mood.

...if you've been bullied so bad that you quit telling your parents and teachers about it because they stopped believing you long ago. (Maybe that's a sign-o-the-times I grew up in, the 1970s.)
...if you've ever had a therapist or psychiatrist laugh at you for asking whether you might have a problem related to autism, because you "function so well," because you're verbal skills are too strong, or because you're actually aware that there's something wrong with you socially. (Happened 3 times.)
...if you're ready to punch the next therapist who says you just need to re-frame your thought process through CBT.
...if you're getting D's or F's in classes where your exam scores are always A's.

And the number one:
You might be an aspie...if you'd only apply yourself.

There. I think I feel better.

Can't...break...free...must...post...more!! !! !! !!

...if you've ever marveled at how Neanderthals could function without spreadsheets
...if you suddenly wonder how long you've been sitting in your easy chair holding your remote, but you haven't turned on the TV yet
...if, for the first time in a week, you arrive at work on time, but you suddenly realize you've been sitting in your car for 20 minutes, just staring and processing a hundred thoughts, and now you're late again
...if your awareness seems like the opening to The Brady Bunch, but only Alice's square represents the outside world
...if you've ever read a 20-page paper in an intro philosophy class, and become infuriated when you realize that everything the guy had to say could easily have fit into one small, succinct paragraph (David Hume dialogs anyone? Philo, Cleanthes, & Demeter? Anyone?)
...if you feel like throttling the next person who uses the word "cleanse" instead of "clean," unless they use it all the time, not just trying to make "products" sound more impressive, in which case it just sounds weird and kinda aspie-ish
...if you're confused at the notion that "serving one's country" means being in the military or winning an election, but it doesn't include things like recycling or shoveling your sidewalk
...if you're on a discussion board and you realize the last five posts in the same thread were yours
...if you know how many centuries you and an always-hypothetical partner would have to spend having 24-hour a day sex in order to expend the same energy as a low-yield atomic bomb blast
...you can reliably determine air quality by the taste and texture of your boogers
...if you've ever felt like you can't breathe because you've started "lung-ticking" instead of sticking with the regular facial tics
...if you just can't stop doing this...

I briefly saw a psychiatrist in 2005 and when I mentioned to him that I am on the autistic spectrum he said "oh you can't be, you are too articulate and make good eye contact". Well lo and behold, this is a spectrum disorder and although I happen to have excellent verbal skills, (and taught myself rudimentary social graces), I still have all the other neurological challenges of those with aspergers syndrome.

Sounds like me in HS...

Mine, too! OMG...THAT is SO ME!

dcs002...hysterical but sadly true...I loved the spreadsheet one!!

And this one scares the crap out of me when I do it...driving along and then "coming to" and realize you don't have any recollection of the last 5 minutes driving because you were playing some scenario in your head.

SOoo right. You mean I'm not the only one???

You may be on the autistic spectrum if...

- you've ever derailed a thread in a popular interest forum with a fervent discussion on the mathematical properties of infinity without meaning to .

- you get annoyed with yourself because your previous subject ended on a preposition (which is technically against the rules of English grammar, but most people's casual conversation breaks that rule without anyone so much as noticing).

- you've ever been rejected for a job for being "overqualified".

- you're better at using computers than toothpaste

- you wonder why everyone else has such pointless and destructive social hierarchy-based arguments that make them do stuff that has no practical purpose.

Actually, Fast Fourier transforms are based on this sequence. These transforms are used to find frequencies in oscillating signals. As someone else mentioned, "(if) you describe patterns in, and accuracy of test data as beautiful, and actually mean it."

you might be aspie (in high school) if...

...you'd rather write out long strings of fibonacci numbers (calculated in your head) than pay attention in math class
...when you get bored of writing fibonacci numbers, you instead draw incredibly detailed pictures of a random corner of the room (but the drawing still sucks because you are incapable of drawing a straight line)
...you hacked your graphing calculator to play pokemon crystal version
...you are the only person in the room using some sort of electronic device to take notes because writing by hand hurts (for me it was an alphasmart 3000, then a dana, then my laptop)
...you are a much higher level at some random facebook game than any of your friends because you are constantly playing it even though it is really not a very good game (music pets anyone?)
...you can sing/recite the entire soundtrack to a movie or musical (especially if one of them is technically an opera) (if anyone cares, for me it's urinetown, repo! the genetic opera, and to an extent the audiobook of the wish list by eoin colfer)
...you can sing an entire song in another language but have no idea what the lyrics mean (heck it could be your own language XD)
...you are so distracted by an object relating to your special interest in the waiting room for a veterinarian that you leave without the dog food you just bought and have to go back the next day... >> (i got in SO much trouble)
...you've gotten in trouble for playing pokemon in class and the teacher won't listen to you when you tell her that you really were listening and could tell her exactly what she just said, and you find it very strange because she has a grown son on the spectrum! (er that one got a little specific...)
...your favourite class is computer programming (or whatever your talent is) and your teacher raves about what a genius you are, while at the same time you're failing another class because you don't do your homework
...you know more about computers than the vice principal generally considered "the computer guy" and most of the IT people at your school combined

I can recite the entire soundtrack to Urinetown And several other musicals. Into The Woods is a good one.
I'm not in high school though.

You spend all day on WP.

your avatar doesn't make much sense then if you know urinetown XD

This is so me, even with songs in my own language. The words have very little meaning to me and yet I can sing along perfectly. I have no idea why, I just can't connect meaning to the words unless I really concentrate. The voice just blends in as another instrument, one I can mimic.


How about if you spend a week reading this thread in its entirety, making notes about which ones apply to you, and new ones you'd like to add, and then getting distracted and never actually posting it. I did that a few months ago.