The worst thing a bully has done to you

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The worst thing a bully ever did to me was push me to the point where I couldn't walk away....
School was a living hell ,jobs in my adult life haven't been much better, but I can walk away from BS and silly pranks...
What I cant walk away from is someone who physically attacks you from behind with three of his mates. Tried walking away, tried pushing him off, but he hit me one too many times. I dont remember much except for his mates trying to give me a kicking, I cant even remember his face, but what I do know his that he had to have a brain scan and spent a couple of weeks in hospital, and I spent 36 hours in a police cell.
The worst thing a bully ever did to me wasnt getting me arrested, it wasnt even the trauma of being set upon by him and his mates...
The worst thing was seeing a side of me that I never wish to see again....

During my HS years, my History teacher took pride in harassing me whenever I was in her sights. Although I reported her to the principal, nothing was done about it.

After my dad passed in 2002, many bullies who went to the same MS as me saw my dad's passing as a reason to bully me. Over the course of time, some have apologized and I have accepted their apologies. However, some who went to extremes when they bullied me I have ignored, making their efforts only in vain.

During my years in grade school, I was a member of my school's basketball team and the coach was a jackass! He loved to bully me just because I didn't fit in very well with my fellow teammates.

When I was about 5 the bully made me drink his pee. I was also kicked in the throat when I was four and also when I was 5 I was hanging on the monkey bar in the playground and they came underneath me and pulled down my pants and underwear. I was also used as a punching bag when I was in middle school. Those are the worst I remember. And I was humiliated in front of my entire girl scout troop by parent leader when I was eight. I was also verbally bullied a lot.

4-10years of age= used to be lined up against primary school wall and that game where you throw a ball and your out was substituted for stones and small rocks in my case... was terrorized by a young family in my village and everyone else were too afraid to spend time with me incase said family would do same to them, verbal, physical and sexual abuse during that time...

11-14= was a junior private school as a full boarder, was picked on daily in class and out and this also included staff that instead of reprimanding said students joined in and was totally ostracized my entire time there, so spent most time sitting in trees in the woods ( was hell day and night!)..

15-17= again was at another boarding school and again totally ostracized, focused on sport and art as the facilities were good there and was able to focus on these areas without too much bother, hence became good at any sport i did and represented county and almost international level at most sports i learnt.. Again i was full time boarder and at weekends we were allowed to walk to our nearest town along as we were in groups of three and had a chit, however i could never get a chit to go with anyone so i used to barter for my food to be put on the chit along as i promised to walk 100+m behind them.. Also someone thought it was funny to call me smeg and that nickname stuck, was not a happy chappy to say the least, and staff were just as bad!

17-19 years.. This changed a little, for a short time i reinvented myself, i didnt want to go through what i had done the last 17 years, so created an outgoing persona at college, so was the one known for organizing parties and mini festivals ( ironically i was good at organizing but not participating! was too overloaded, so made sure i kept myself focused with something that involved the events structure), also wore different wears to theirs, very surfie style but cargo pants tucked into socks! lol Got teases but not as much as before, never gave home number out to anyone and mentioned if they saw me out i was out if not i wanted my own time at home.. Only dealt with one bully at college who still made my life hell, when abseiling they gave him the safety rope to stop me falling, i shouted to give it to someone else but staff didnt listen, and when they turned away he slackened it as i was dangling from an overhang, if i had lost grip i would have fallen to my death and he just looked up and smiled, he also on an ice skating outing tried to skate over my fingers when i fell, luckily managed to pull my hand in in time, basically now i realize he was somewhat psychopathic!

19 onwards .. well i gave up on the persona i created at college as it was too much energy, so now i tend to keep much to myself, i moved country and have had a good/bad time here, have been beaten up a few times and also had my two front teeth almost punched out but luckily dentist managed to save them, have been harassed, but my main issues i face now is misunderstandings ( living in a small village, people seem to like to create rumors that others take on as fact) However those that have got to know me have realized these comments were people trying to save their own arses by diverting questioning to me, ie past relationships! had 10 years of being totally single to then give it another go only to attract a psychopath then an alcoholic narcissist finished off by a sociopath in consecutive order ( im a magnet for them!).. So now i rarely go out, i feel safer and comfortable at home... Ironically those that have come to know me often get intouch for help and view points, have been told a number of times that i am a cyclopedia of knowledge, as much as i do study all sorts i think most has come from observation of the human race rather than being absorbed into it, feeling alien has its up sides!


Many more experiences, but think thats enough to get a point across! lol

Physically? About twice. Verbally? Maybe two or three times (I really can't remember). I'll mention one of the incidents I was physically bullied, primarily because it emphases just how horribly things can end for the bully.

Age Seven:
To provide context, I was the fastest kid in not just my year level, but also the one above me. In addition, I was exceptionally strong for my age (too much energy + living on a farm).

One day the local policeman's son, also seven, randomly punches me in the chest/gut. Obviously, given the above information, he's an idiot. His punch forced all air from my lungs, shocking me. I moved away from the perceived threat instinctively, increasing the distance between us. Of course, I then tried to immediately breath in...but nothing happened. I felt if I were being choked; each attempt resulting in gasps and sputters. In spite of this, I remained calm and logical. You just open your mouth and breath in, simply enough... except I physically couldn't breath in. (the other kid just stood there watching the whole time)

What had he done to me? Why can't I breath? It's not going away. Am I going to die? How long do I have? 15 seconds; 20 tops. A thousand thoughts crossed my mind, and then it all became clear. Blood seared through my body as I felt fight or flight kick in. In this case: fight. Because I was going to kill him. What I find interesting is just how clear that memory is; all else disappears. All that mattered in the world was him. I remember how, in a split second, I planned out how I would do it: I think I intended to pull his jaw down and break it, then destroy his eyes, and finally use my mouth to tear at his throat. or something along those lines. Anyway, some air slipped into my lungs -thank god- around the same time. However, one thing that shocked me (even now) is how difficult it was to change my mind. To focus on breathing; living. All I desired in the world was to kill him, despite knowing it would cost my life. I never thought about my family, friends, or pets. In that moment nothing mattered but him. Somehow, logic won and I chose to focus on breathing.

It's sad that kids don't understand how serious this is. He was a foot shorter than me and one of the least athletic people I knew, yet he bullied people. Seriously? A few years later I knew this really large guy who was pushed too far; he'd had enough of the bullying. The bully lost his two front teeth and came to school with a very..very messed up face. He never bullied anyone again.

As a kid? I had a teacher in fifth and sixth grade who was convinced all my problems were due to intentional misbehavior and lack of effort. Her solution was to haul me up in front of the class and publically humiliate me every time she caught me in a mistake. I note that, later in life, she died of cancer of the tongue. Karma is a b***h.

As an adult??

My FIL assumed I was malicious and continually pointed out reasons why Hubby should divorce me and take the kids. The worst was when my stepmom had a stroke and my dad dropped off the radar. He told me Daddy was probably avoiding me because I was so pathetic and threatened to take the kids if I tried to go to help. When it turned out Daddy had been dead in his bed for a week, all he said was, "Oh, sorry."

My step mom's sister called me a thief and accused me of smuggling drugs into the nursing home. That wasn't personal, though. They had about $125K in retirement savings, and she wanted to get rid of everyone who could catch her embezzling all of it that the state didn't take.

In college twice in two nights a person gunned thier car right at me while I was walking before swerving away at the last second. I complained and everybody had a good laugh at that one. It was said in so many words if I complained again I would be thrown out of the residence or school.

This is painful reading that I stopped reading these posts. What type of school did you guys go to? Some bullying is normal but the ones here are like the ones you see come out on the news. I probably would have taken my life if I was subjected to all this. I think my worst problems were the isolation and so many reluctant at me that caused all this.

Bullies did plenty to me also, but when I think back to my childhood I wouldn't say violence is the first thing that comes to mind. For me, the fear is what I remember so vividly. I just remember going through life, every single day, afraid.
I don't want my kids fighting, but I also don't want them to be afraid. My son is seven and has been doing Brazilian jiu Jitsu since he was four and wrestling since he was 5. No disrespect intended here, but other martial arts (aside from judo) do not work simply because you don't get to train on a resisting opponent. I don't want my son fighting, but I do not want him walking through life afraid of a fight like I did. He's well prepared at this point, regularly goes against kids four and five years older than him and handles it no problem. I firmly believe that oftentimes the only one who can stop bullying is the person being bullied, so you have to mentally and physically be prepared to do that.

Does anyone else know what it’s like to pretend to be stupid and vapid? That has happened to me. It has gotten to the point that I am only learning to be myself again. The weird thing is that the people who made me want to be shallow were themselves annoyed by the person I pretended to be. They were annoyed that I was so good at shallow jokes and sex references but really bad at my studies, when it was they themselves who encouraged my bad behavior. You see, by pretending to be a vapid person, I was just imitating their bad traits.

I can not speak for other posters but I went for the most part to public schools and colleges in the 1960's and 1970's. You were "mainstreamed" or you were thrown out of school which was legal to do at the time as most districts did not have special education or special needs schools and accomodations were non existant.

Bullying was viewed as a normal part of growing up, a right of passage, kids just being kids. You were expected to fight back, if you did not or could not that was to bad, but it was considered your fault for bieng a weak person and probably homosexual. While the gay rights movements started during this era in most of America it was still considered the ultimate perversion. If you were "different" and you were a male you were considered probably homosexual. When I was verbally bullied "queer" or "fa***t" were the terms most often directed at me.

Making me trust him.

Making me doubt myself.

I think i understand what your saying and im sorry to hear that!! ! I can relate!
Also congrats and welcome!

The kids used to verbally torture me until I cried, and any time I was the first in line, they'd start a new line. Seems so silly! But this still hurts me so much, thinking how much I wanted to be the line leader, and they would go out of their way to prevent me from getting my wish.

I also always sat with the boys during lunch, because (I guess?) the girls didn't like me....and during recess I would walk around balancing on the landscape ties for 30 minutes, pretending to be interested in that activity so that no one would find out I was lonely. If they knew I was lonely they would have laughed at me. At one point, I hurt my foot and had a cast for a few weeks. It was a relief to have an excuse to not be playing with anyone. Anyone could see that the reason I was all alone was that my foot was in a cast. One day, I begged my teacher to let me go to the nurse during recess so I didn't have to pretend to not be lonely. It was such a relief. I brought a book from the library and read. But once the cast was off, I had to go out again. I remember the awful dread of spending the next 30 minutes walking around the landscape ties.

In 7th grade, I remember eating my cheeseburger in tiny tiny bites, in circles. I would pretend to make Barbie doll burgers, and chew each Barbie burger a hundred times each. This was so that the burger lasted all 40ish minutes of lunch class, so I didn't feel pressured to speak to anyone...because anyone could tell I was clearly too busy chewing to have a conversation.

So much energy spent pretending....

Things got better in high school, when my band director took an interest in me. He encouraged me a lot, and gave me extra help during lunch (yay! No more barbie burgers!) The kids in band respected me a lot by the time I graduated. I was very, very lucky and I am so grateful to this teacher.

But the biggest bully in my life was always my sister, who I unfortunately had to live with and share a room with. She used to sit on me so I couldn't breathe, spit on me, beat me up and harass me.

Hello everyone-

This is my first post, please forgive me if I'm long winded. My name is Dr. Dale Henry. I have my doctorate in Education (Ed.D) from the University of Southern California (USC) in the States, and was a special education teacher for 10 years. I am not on the spectrum, full disclosure. I taught a class for high school (secondary) students with 'moderate to severe' autism for 3 years in Los Angeles. It was the most challenging, yet most rewarding experience I ever had teaching. My doctoral research was based on adults with autism, and the difficulties they have securing employment and healthcare. I've recently been getting more and more into Virtual Reality and some of its uses and applications for people on the spectrum- specifically how it could be used to respond to the needs of the community as a result of bullying.

I was hoping I could reach out to some of you here reading this thread who may feel comfortable sharing a dialogue with me about your experience being bullied in school. I know in my head what I think might help some of community cope with bullying, but I would rather ask you about what you *know* would help, because of your experiences. I've read some of the posts here on this thread, and though it may be unprofessional for me to say, I must tell you- my heart breaks for you. This is such a wider, and more dangerous, problem than most people not on the spectrum know or care to recognize. And it needs to stop. If you are open to dialogue, please feel free to get in touch and PM me or what have you. I'm also more than happy to have public exchanges. I would just like to create a product that would be of great use to you in this constant struggle against bullying. I would like to help. I hope we are able to have an exchange. Thank you.

-Dale

This one girl who was relentless pushed me and my wheelchair down the third floor stairs in high school. She got away with it because she and her friends said I "slipped"
She also took my cell phone and iPod from me and threw them in one of the girl's lavatory toilets.