Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

To be brutally honest.

Page 16 of 27 [ 417 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 ... 27  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

23 Jan 2013, 9:32 am

well, some of the people commenting on this thread who want more positivity call people "ignorant" and such when there is disagreement in a thread, isn't that an example of negativity? i am getting confused.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


deltafunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jun 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,094
Location: Lost

23 Jan 2013, 9:33 am

Huh I wasn't calling others ignorant :?:



nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

23 Jan 2013, 9:34 am

deltafunction wrote:
...Well, I can't find it, but in one thread I was saying that entrepreneurship was the way to go for people who didn't like capitalist greed. Then I was called a "princess" and "stupid" because obviously, people need capital to start a business and I was stupid enough not to know that :roll: . Then I reported it to a mod who said that it was normal for that forum for people to be called stupid. It became a huge argument, I went of WP for a couple of months, then came back.


Well in my opinion that was bad moderation as I thought the WP rules were to treat other posters with respect.



hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

23 Jan 2013, 9:36 am

deltafunction wrote:
Huh I wasn't calling others ignorant :?:

no, not you. just from your example, that got me thinking about other members who do that to people, yet they are arguing for more positivity.


_________________
on a break, so if you need assistance please contact another moderator from this list:
viewtopic.php?t=391105


nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

23 Jan 2013, 9:37 am

deltafunction wrote:
...Well, I can't find it, but in one thread I was saying that entrepreneurship was the way to go for people who didn't like capitalist greed. Then I was called a "princess" and "stupid" and other insults because obviously, people need capital to start a business and I was stupid enough not to know that :roll: . Then I reported it to a mod who said that it was normal for that forum for people to be called stupid. It became a huge argument, I went of WP for a couple of months, then came back.

These people are the exceptions and not the rule. But here is a thread where I brought up positivity:
https://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf217283-0-15.html
nothing flaming, but a good general opinion that people here have about looking on the bright side


Some people responded positively and some not - depending entirely on their circumstances - that's just how life is.

Not everyone has to agree with your point for it still to be a good one.



EstherJ
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,041
Location: The long-lost library at Alexandria

23 Jan 2013, 9:38 am

I'm not going to read all 17 pages so forgive me if I post something someone else has said, but:

I use this forum for three things:

- A place where my struggles, quirks, weirdness, etc, are understood, and to give that understanding to others.
- A place to get information and give it.
- A place to share my disappointments and my successes.

I really have no reason to feel that the majority of people here aren't doing the same thing.

It's the minority that complain, and usually it's not about themselves. Though I do appreciate the OP for voicing their opinion.
It has been something I have wondered myself, but then I think:

Hey, someone has to have somewhere where they can just be themselves!



deltafunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jun 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,094
Location: Lost

23 Jan 2013, 9:39 am

Oh I know... I'm just saying that I get a general response here that people don't like positivity. You asked for positive posts of mine



nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

23 Jan 2013, 9:46 am

deltafunction wrote:
Oh I know... I'm just saying that I get a general response here that people don't like positivity. You asked for positive posts of mine


I like positivity in the sense that if I think I can do something I probably can, so in a keeping focused type way, yes I can be positive but being generally positive about other people and how they act towards me and each other in general - that's a resounding no!

I cope in life for the very fact that I focus on the reality of my situation, not some false delusion that things are better than they are

Each to their own - we are all different

I set up an autism support group in my home city in 2011 that is still running - I think that's pretty positive.
That's positive ACTION, not just positive thinking or talk on a forum.



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748

23 Jan 2013, 9:49 am

AgentPalpatine wrote:
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Back on point, I am starting to see the OP' s concern more clearly now. I don' t think that beacon is something that you can find externally. Unfortunately, you have to filter out the noise to find what speaks to you.


If you just found out you were on the spectrum, would you really want to go to a site that looks like the modern "General Autism Discussion"? If you're someone who's been employed and living independently for years, you suspected, and now you go to WP for information, and you saw this site, there's a good chance you'd turn right around. As things stand now, if I found WP today, I probably would go away.


Unfortunately there can never be a one size fits all, especially on a website of this size. There' s always going to be a variance of ages, life experiences, and internet comfort levels. I think there is a skew towards younger membership, but all in all there' s a pretty good mash up.
I did find out that I was on the spectrum later in life. I've been living independently for twenty years and have held employment, but not without considerable struggle. I' 've read plenty of books and have seen professionals, but there has always been such a lack of knowledge or such a disconnect that they did very little for me. In other forums I have sensed an immediate dismissal--- I am on the spectrum so my opinions and experiences must be suspect.
I of course don' t have any data for you, and I' m sure there are some number crunchers to support or refute my point. Just a rebuttal on a more personal level. :)



whirlingmind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,130
Location: 3rd rock from the sun

23 Jan 2013, 9:52 am

Sorry, for some reason my PC decided it would duplicate my previous post here.


_________________
*Truth fears no trial*

DX AS & both daughters on the autistic spectrum


nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

23 Jan 2013, 10:02 am

whirlingmind wrote:
Sorry, for some reason my PC decided it would duplicate my previous post here.


I thought you were just repeating it for effect! lol :)



deltafunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jun 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,094
Location: Lost

23 Jan 2013, 10:53 am

nessa238 wrote:
deltafunction wrote:
Oh I know... I'm just saying that I get a general response here that people don't like positivity. You asked for positive posts of mine


I like positivity in the sense that if I think I can do something I probably can, so in a keeping focused type way, yes I can be positive but being generally positive about other people and how they act towards me and each other in general - that's a resounding no!

I cope in life for the very fact that I focus on the reality of my situation, not some false delusion that things are better than they are

Each to their own - we are all different

I set up an autism support group in my home city in 2011 that is still running - I think that's pretty positive.
That's positive ACTION, not just positive thinking or talk on a forum.


That's great that you set up a support group. You probably know some things that could help others out to help them take action in their own lives. That would be considered positive posts as well.

Keep in mind that I am about half your age. I wish that more elders could offer guidance instead of discouraging posts. I find true solutions hard to come by.

This is why I try to be positive about it here, just so I don't get so depressed about having AS. I also try my best to offer advice if I think that I can help, but people often don't like my advice so I don't know if it helps.



nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

23 Jan 2013, 10:59 am

deltafunction wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
deltafunction wrote:
Oh I know... I'm just saying that I get a general response here that people don't like positivity. You asked for positive posts of mine


I like positivity in the sense that if I think I can do something I probably can, so in a keeping focused type way, yes I can be positive but being generally positive about other people and how they act towards me and each other in general - that's a resounding no!

I cope in life for the very fact that I focus on the reality of my situation, not some false delusion that things are better than they are

Each to their own - we are all different

I set up an autism support group in my home city in 2011 that is still running - I think that's pretty positive.
That's positive ACTION, not just positive thinking or talk on a forum.


That's great that you set up a support group. You probably know some things that could help others out to help them take action in their own lives. That would be considered positive posts as well.

Keep in mind that I am about half your age. I wish that more elders could offer guidance instead of discouraging posts. I find true solutions hard to come by.

This is why I try to be positive about it here, just so I don't get so depressed about having AS. I also try my best to offer advice if I think that I can help, but people often don't like my advice so I don't know if it helps.


I do plenty of positive, supportive posts if you check

I'm not an 'elder' either - I'm only 46!

I tend to say 'This is what helps me' instead of 'You need to do this' as people don't like being lectured



Stoek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2012
Age: 94
Gender: Male
Posts: 762

23 Jan 2013, 12:10 pm

nessa238 wrote:

Also, I'd rather a person posted hundreds of negative posts anywhere they liked on WP if it prevented them committing suicide.

Support is one of the main aims of the site.

it was pointed out that people posting in the Haven didn't get many replies so maybe it's for this very reason that people are more likely to post on the General Autism forum ie they know there's more likelihood of a reply on there.


But this is where the logic falls apart.

First off you by your own admission admit that the problem with the haven is no one actually posts there.

Which means a crucial service is being sidelined, by inappropriate posting.

Second off you mention suicide, and have a simplistic definition for reaching for help. The reality is from a clinical perspective this site is used more for dragging people down for reaching out.

I'm sorry but you guys simply know nothing of suicide if you think, having haven posts in the general form is helpful.

The reality is many of you have text book cases of poor morale.

Morale is contagious, and it's damaging effects cannot be denied.

Again your arguments are weak at best.

At no point did I say I was against venting.

But again it's so obviously 15-1 to one in this thread, and due to poor reading comprehension or likely liberal usage of quotes, have people here seemed to think I'm against posting negativity.

I simply do not think it should dominate the main page in the manor it does currently.

The simple responses to my thread show the typical tactics that are used by a group of twenty or so posters in this thread to hijack an entire message board.



Stoek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2012
Age: 94
Gender: Male
Posts: 762

23 Jan 2013, 12:14 pm

auntblabby wrote:
humor the OP if you find his statements to be offensive. there really is no further point of serious discussion with him, as he has stated he is only interested in [what he considers to be] positive posts [perhaps akin to horatio alger].
I invite you to a thread in the haven if you want me to share my negativity I welcome you with open arms, but I must warm you, you may be in for a shock :roll:



Stoek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2012
Age: 94
Gender: Male
Posts: 762

23 Jan 2013, 12:16 pm

answeraspergers wrote:
@ nessa – there is a clear distinction between someone making a negative post in a new thread to the negative burning of others threads that occurs here. One fits into the term “support” the other quite clearly does not.


Agreed this is the norm on here,

at the very least when someone can't get away with saying negative things they often default to saying not interested the idea wouldn't interest me at all, it won't work etc.