Sorry I have to ask this

Post Reply New Topic

I'm also undiagnosed but think I have good insight into how I am. "Fly under the radar" seems to have been the theme my entire life. Sure the people around me would know that I'm quiet and perhaps a bit unusual. I've managed my study and work life by not drawing attention to myself. I'm always at work on time, pleasant to people, conscientious in my duties and at the end of the shift quietly sign off and sod off home with a minimum of fuss. Management no doubt have bigger fish to fry than worrying about the quiet bloke nobody complains about.

Forgive me if I'm mixing you up with someone else...but weren't you the girl who was so excited to see a bus outside (because buses are one of your special interests) that you rushed to see it and forgot to pick up the forms you had filled out when you were applying for a job? And then when you made it to the interview you didn't have the papers, and your mom got mad at you for being so obsessed with that interest?

I guess many people are not aware of (especially) high-functioning autism and just assume someone is weird, odd, eccentric. All my life from childhood to pretty much now I've been called "weird". Parents, kids at school, boyfriends (especially them) - for them I was just a weird person. Currently at work people think I'm just odd and quiet, for them autism is only the most disabling side of the spectrum. Plus, many of us can pretend and work hard on passing as neurotypical, at some point that was like a little project of mine... I guess I was only slightly successful as recently one of my acquaintances said "erm... you're a little weird, ain't ya?".
Many times people have no clue though, mostly strangers. The more they get to know me though, the more they start to see I'm a bit different, but I don't think they ever think 'autistic', I bet it's 'weird, odd, quirky', the usual.

I've seen some people out there that I would have assumed they were probably autistic but never asked because it was non of my business. Some people don't like to be identified it seems.

My uncle seems autistic to me, but nobody else in my family even suspected that. My aunt, a very emotional, nervous, affection-needing person was really unhappy in their marriage, seeing him as a very cold, rude, inconsiderate person, who liked to just randomly wander off during conversations, lock in his room and react with anger when disturbed. He was never comforting or genuinely warm - she said and at times she was thinking he might be just a narcissistic, selfish man she was unlucky to marry.

When she described him I thought - wow, I'd never call him uncaring...
I enjoyed talking to him as he's always been asking very specific questions, with answers that could be one single number or we just talked about interesting topics (particle physicist). There was just that nice space around him, that made me feel not pressured to behave in a certain way, just kind of co-exist close without much talk. Then I tried to spot autistic behaviours in him and it all clicked, so I told my aunt to maybe read a few books about Asperger's and see if anything rings a bell.
Last time I saw her, she said I saved their marriage I don't think my uncle would even like to be diagnosed, but she sees him in a different light now, it's not like he's punishing her with silence or no interaction or affection.

Can it be described in terms of introversion and extroversion.

In other words, is that cold and brooding person making a proactive effort, to abuse people. Are you imagining a thought life, which was never specifically expressed, to you.

Some people in my life are borderline neurotic, never miss a beat, must be on high-alert at all times.