"fake aspies" and self diagnosis. DISLIKE, sorry.

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StuartN
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16 Jun 2010, 4:10 am

DeaconBlues wrote:
Have I gotten through to you yet, Stuart? Unless you're willing to somehow front the cash for an assessment, it ain't a-gonna happen, because I am, as usual, flat broke. I'm living with my ex-wife and her husband, partly because we are such good friends that it makes sense, and partly because I can't afford a place of my own anyway.


All that gets through to me is confirmation of what I said - if someone has a neurological or psychiatric impairment causing disability, then the benefits (education, welfare, support and other resources) outweigh the cost of diagnosis. That is simple mathematics. Human choice is not simple, and is full of contradictions - you have made your choice to live with your ex-wife and her new partner, and they have made their choice to financially support you. You would not be financially dependent if you were diagnosed with a disability, but might still choose to live with them without that financial dependency. From my point of view, all three of you would benefit, but my point of view is not your point of view.



Ferdinand
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16 Jun 2010, 4:14 am

The Aspergers Club. No fakes allowed!

Since when did my diagnosis became a card into some elitist group? Get over yourself, geez. :roll:


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Danielismyname
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16 Jun 2010, 4:30 am

Ferdinand wrote:
Since when did my diagnosis became a card into some elitist group? Get over yourself, geez. :roll:


If you have to ask that question, you're actually not diagnosed. Faker!

I like that South Park episode, about Tourette's:

Kyle:
Quote:
L-look, I was just suggesting that maybe this one person could control what he said, but just didn't, for fun

Kid with Tourrette's:
Quote:
This isn't really all that fun.

Another:
Quote:
Yee-you wanna know about fun? Going to public places knowing you're going to make a fool of yourself. Embarrass your parents [turns his head to the right] Aw s**t! [recovers] My dad... finally couldn't take it anymore. He... divorced my mom, s-said he'd still be around, but I only see him at Christmastime now. S-sh-shit! S-sh-shit! The worst part is I know how lonely my mom is. A lot of times I know she'd be better off if I was dead.


The last quote hits home with me.



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16 Jun 2010, 4:34 am

StuartN wrote:
DeaconBlues wrote:
Have I gotten through to you yet, Stuart? Unless you're willing to somehow front the cash for an assessment, it ain't a-gonna happen, because I am, as usual, flat broke. I'm living with my ex-wife and her husband, partly because we are such good friends that it makes sense, and partly because I can't afford a place of my own anyway.


All that gets through to me is confirmation of what I said - if someone has a neurological or psychiatric impairment causing disability, then the benefits (education, welfare, support and other resources) outweigh the cost of diagnosis. That is simple mathematics. Human choice is not simple, and is full of contradictions - you have made your choice to live with your ex-wife and her new partner, and they have made their choice to financially support you. You would not be financially dependent if you were diagnosed with a disability, but might still choose to live with them without that financial dependency. From my point of view, all three of you would benefit, but my point of view is not your point of view.


If people DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY, OR ANY WAY OF GETTING THE MONEY for a diagnosis, it doesn't matter how beneficial or otherwise it is, or whether or not the benefits outweigh the costs. Sometimes people ARE UNABLE TO PAY THE COSTS of a diagnosis, and thus cannot get access to the benefits.


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zen_mistress
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16 Jun 2010, 4:44 am

StuartN wrote:
All that gets through to me is confirmation of what I said - if someone has a neurological or psychiatric impairment causing disability, then the benefits (education, welfare, support and other resources) outweigh the cost of diagnosis. That is simple mathematics. Human choice is not simple, and is full of contradictions - you have made your choice to live with your ex-wife and her new partner, and they have made their choice to financially support you. You would not be financially dependent if you were diagnosed with a disability, but might still choose to live with them without that financial dependency. From my point of view, all three of you would benefit, but my point of view is not your point of view.


So, so not true. I have a diagnosis and the only value it has given me, is being able to select "Diagnosed" in the drop down menu on my profile here.


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MotherKnowsBest
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16 Jun 2010, 6:38 am

It's also not just about money. Here where I live they do not do assessments for Aspergers on Adults at all. The belief within the medical profession is that you have made it this far on your own and a diagnosis now will acheive nothing and is therefore a waste of resources.



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16 Jun 2010, 11:32 am

Like I said, I did my best. Apparently Stuart thinks that good, well-educated neuropsychiatrists will work for free, just so those of us who are broke can possibly get help later - or at least he thinks they'll take IOUs drawn on Social Security.

<shrug> One does what one can, but some people simply cannot be reached, I suppose...


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16 Jun 2010, 11:34 am

zen_mistress wrote:
StuartN wrote:
All that gets through to me is confirmation of what I said - if someone has a neurological or psychiatric impairment causing disability, then the benefits (education, welfare, support and other resources) outweigh the cost of diagnosis. That is simple mathematics. Human choice is not simple, and is full of contradictions - you have made your choice to live with your ex-wife and her new partner, and they have made their choice to financially support you. You would not be financially dependent if you were diagnosed with a disability, but might still choose to live with them without that financial dependency. From my point of view, all three of you would benefit, but my point of view is not your point of view.


So, so not true. I have a diagnosis and the only value it has given me, is being able to select "Diagnosed" in the drop down menu on my profile here.


Maybe not true for YOU. That doesn't mean it isn't true for others.

This is the problem with labeling EVERYONE who self-diagnose as "fake," as well as assuming that diagnosis is nothing more than a label.

There ARE fakes out there. There ARE people for whom it is nothing but a label, but just because either is true for one person, does NOT mean it is true for everyone. Some need to quit applying their own experience and beliefs to everyone else, and passing judgment on others in that manner. It's just as wrong as judging on the basis of skin color.


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j0sh
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16 Jun 2010, 11:45 am

MrXxx wrote:
Some need to quit applying their own experience and beliefs to everyone else, and passing judgment on others in that manner. It's just as wrong as judging on the basis of skin color.


^^ agreed



MrXxx
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16 Jun 2010, 12:05 pm

j0sh wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
Some need to quit applying their own experience and beliefs to everyone else, and passing judgment on others in that manner. It's just as wrong as judging on the basis of skin color.


^^ agreed


Just to clarify a bit, because I really don't want anyone thinking I "equate" judging the self diagnosed with racism, I only meant that the two are "equally wrong" in the sense that kind of judmentalism is the same.

How the two manifest themselves is far different. The two are equally "wrong" but not the same thing, in the same sense that stealing and assault are equally wrong, but the one is clearly not as serious as the other.

Just trying to "nip that in the bud" before it starts another firestorm.


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buriguri
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16 Jun 2010, 12:28 pm

StuartN wrote:
All that gets through to me is confirmation of what I said - if someone has a neurological or psychiatric impairment causing disability, then the benefits (education, welfare, support and other resources) outweigh the cost of diagnosis.


Education: I have a BA in literature. I had a full academic scholarship. So I obviously didn't need any academic help. I worked as a tutor my junior and senior year. I love school. But I did have social problems and other issues, and got therapy from the school for free just by showing up to their psych department. I had an appointment with a grad student once a week. I also was on Paxil for a year. Wasn't really diagnosed with anything, just told the guy I had social anxiety problems and he wrote out a prescription. I was on my parent's insurance at the time.

Welfare: Why would I want welfare? I pay my own bills. I don't think I could work outside the home again, but thanks to the miracle of technology I don't have to. I just make some websites, write some articles, and Google Adsense and the Amazon affiliate program pay me every month. No human contact needed. I'll save the welfare for people who need it.

Support: I have a very supportive husband. What else could I possibly need?

Other resources: Between the internet and the library, everything I could possible want to know is at my fingertips. What an amazing world we live in.

I see that you refuse to acknowledge possible negatives from a diagnosis. Such as higher costs to health insurance. Or discrimination. I have had one job (the only full time job I have had) that I would never had been hired for if I had been diagnosed with Asperger's. I did have to answer questions about my mental health, and it was perfectly legal for what the job was. I'll never pass as normal, but I'm fine with being thought of as eccentric.



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16 Jun 2010, 12:31 pm

After a life time of..
..being clearly different to my normie peers, and not being able to do a single thing about it
..reading/empathy comprehension impairements that were noticed, only to be more confused as to why from the repeated IQ tests
..unable to afford better tests, which I actualy do need for physical health also (why? because my head, and a couple parts of my body have been moveing with a fine "BUZZ" sensation in my skull, when I mentaly relax completly. That's why I do need a check, but cannot get one.)
..auditory issues that disrupted the thinking areas of my brain funcions and sometimes drove me crazy,
..blending with diagnosed Aspies without trying,
..years of comparisons

I did not conclude with one Article. Getting tested would do me a great justice, that's very true... but..

Vivienne wrote:
So you can feel better?
No thanks.



Last edited by LiendaBalla on 16 Jun 2010, 12:58 pm, edited 4 times in total.

StuartN
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16 Jun 2010, 12:36 pm

buriguri wrote:
I see that you refuse to acknowledge possible negatives from a diagnosis.


I have no idea where you see that in anything that I have written - apart from the simple fact that I have acknowledged, several times, that there are many very good reasons not to seek a diagnosis. That is choice.



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16 Jun 2010, 4:26 pm

MrXxx wrote:
zen_mistress wrote:
StuartN wrote:
All that gets through to me is confirmation of what I said - if someone has a neurological or psychiatric impairment causing disability, then the benefits (education, welfare, support and other resources) outweigh the cost of diagnosis. That is simple mathematics. Human choice is not simple, and is full of contradictions - you have made your choice to live with your ex-wife and her new partner, and they have made their choice to financially support you. You would not be financially dependent if you were diagnosed with a disability, but might still choose to live with them without that financial dependency. From my point of view, all three of you would benefit, but my point of view is not your point of view.


So, so not true. I have a diagnosis and the only value it has given me, is being able to select "Diagnosed" in the drop down menu on my profile here.


Maybe not true for YOU. That doesn't mean it isn't true for others.

This is the problem with labeling EVERYONE who self-diagnose as "fake," as well as assuming that diagnosis is nothing more than a label.

There ARE fakes out there. There ARE people for whom it is nothing but a label, but just because either is true for one person, does NOT mean it is true for everyone. Some need to quit applying their own experience and beliefs to everyone else, and passing judgment on others in that manner. It's just as wrong as judging on the basis of skin color.


I was talking specifically about what it had done for me. And that is, nothing, though I must admit, the looks on doctors and social worker's faces have changed from a look of pity, to a look I can only describe as "Oh, you are like the Unabomber", when they see on my form that I have aspergers. So that is one change.

I have also lost my benefit since getting my diagnosis, because my partner works. Having an AS diagnosis didnt convince them to keep my benefit going.

Seeing StuartM was talking about the "resources" available to someone with a diagnosis I was saying that sometimes people will find that there are resources that open up to them. Other times, the person find that there is.... NOTHING. particularly if they live in a small town or a rural area.

But you wouldnt know this, would you, you havent even been through the process, yet you seem to be telling me what I should and shouldnt say.


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16 Jun 2010, 5:31 pm

buriguri wrote:
I don't think I could work outside the home again, but thanks to the miracle of technology I don't have to. I just make some websites, write some articles, and Google Adsense and the Amazon affiliate program pay me every month. No human contact needed. I'll save the welfare for people who need it.


I coped for so many years by leaving every time there was a problem, then I got a knee injury and wouldn't have been employed any where like that. My plan that I have been working towards is photography but I was worried about problem customers !

Is this similar to the problems you had that made you decide to go self employed and how do you cope with problem customers in self employment ?



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16 Jun 2010, 5:33 pm

zen_mistress wrote:
MrXxx wrote:
zen_mistress wrote:
StuartN wrote:
All that gets through to me is confirmation of what I said - if someone has a neurological or psychiatric impairment causing disability, then the benefits (education, welfare, support and other resources) outweigh the cost of diagnosis. That is simple mathematics. Human choice is not simple, and is full of contradictions - you have made your choice to live with your ex-wife and her new partner, and they have made their choice to financially support you. You would not be financially dependent if you were diagnosed with a disability, but might still choose to live with them without that financial dependency. From my point of view, all three of you would benefit, but my point of view is not your point of view.


So, so not true. I have a diagnosis and the only value it has given me, is being able to select "Diagnosed" in the drop down menu on my profile here.


Maybe not true for YOU. That doesn't mean it isn't true for others.

This is the problem with labeling EVERYONE who self-diagnose as "fake," as well as assuming that diagnosis is nothing more than a label.

There ARE fakes out there. There ARE people for whom it is nothing but a label, but just because either is true for one person, does NOT mean it is true for everyone. Some need to quit applying their own experience and beliefs to everyone else, and passing judgment on others in that manner. It's just as wrong as judging on the basis of skin color.


I was talking specifically about what it had done for me. And that is, nothing, though I must admit, the looks on doctors and social worker's faces have changed from a look of pity, to a look I can only describe as "Oh, you are like the Unabomber", when they see on my form that I have aspergers. So that is one change.

I have also lost my benefit since getting my diagnosis, because my partner works. Having an AS diagnosis didnt convince them to keep my benefit going.

Seeing StuartM was talking about the "resources" available to someone with a diagnosis I was saying that sometimes people will find that there are resources that open up to them. Other times, the person find that there is.... NOTHING. particularly if they live in a small town or a rural area.

But you wouldnt know this, would you, you havent even been through the process, yet you seem to be telling me what I should and shouldnt say.


Absolutely NOT. I wouldn't dream of [flatly] telling you or anyone else what you should or should not say. You are entitled to your opinion as much as anyone else is. All I ever mean to do is present other viewpoints. That's all. You are free to disagree with them. You may not agree with my reasoning. On the other hand, it's possible, because I don't know you, that you or others reading haven't heard my viewpoint. All I ask is that it be considered. Not that everyone agree.

I'm not saying at all that YOU personally would have anything to gain from a diagnosis. I am only saying that just because you haven't, doesn't mean that everyone else won't either. Which, from what I'm reading, is exactly what you are saying too. Just because there is something for ME to gain from it, doesn't mean you would gain from your own DX either. Everybody's circumstances are different.

I say what I say only in the hopes that anyone reading might consider both sides of any issue before making decisions for themselves. That, to me, is informed decision making. To make a decision after hearing only one side of any issue, IMHO, is sad at best.

Keep in mind too that I do play "devil's advocate" quite frequently, and challenge not only people I don't agree with, but also the those I do agree with. It's not about starting an argument for me. It's about hopefully generating a better informed debate from which anyone reading might be able to form a better educated opinion of their own, no matter what they decide.

I might try to get you or others to defend your positions (pro or con), but it isn't about challenging your right to form your own opinions at all. Not for me. :wink:


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I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...