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Seanmw
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25 Jul 2010, 2:15 am

ouinon wrote:
seanmw wrote:
ouinon wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
I think the cancer is true, you think it's "bigfoot"
:lol I do at the moment anyway, whereas I did start to wonder if it might be real, ( just after you discovered that she supposedly had stomach cancer instead of a brain tumour ), because it seemed to me that the incoherence and generally unconvincing nature of the story might simply be confused reporting ... but I've swung back to believing that it is in fact "bigfoot"! Sorry. :(
Both unlikely to be proved true or false at this rate unless i were to see see her in person and get something conclusive.

The trouble is that even if you did manage to collect the $500+ for a plane ticket and went to her house you might find her "not at home" ( not answering the door that is ) and she would tell you, by phone, that she was very sorry but that she had suddenly had to be transported to a hospital or specialist out of town for the time you are there, and so even a visit might not be conclusive. And however nice it would be to see Ferdinand you would still not have any conclusive evidence about her story, ( despite spending the $500 ).

Edit. PS. If her story was true, it is quite likely that she *would* appreciate spilling/sharing what is going on for her, the medical procedures, etc, and if you don't, out of "sensitivity" for her, she will think that the subject bores or depresses you and be afraid to do so.
.
which is one reason i'm trying to get in contact with her mom. If she were to be transported to the hospital i could contact her mom to find out which one, and i'd prolly need to be accompanied by a family member to get in to visit, 'cause i'd imagine that they just wouldn't let in just anybody to certain parts of the hospital.


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Seanmw
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25 Jul 2010, 2:22 am

UPDATE:

got a missed call from her like half an hour ago which i guess i accidentally missed because i was too absorbed talking about such things here on WP.
anyway, tried calling back and got a text back from her mom using her phone and it seems she's now running a high fever & presumably asleep. So i'm really wishing now that i hadn't missed that call....


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DW_a_mom
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25 Jul 2010, 2:43 am

Seanmw,

I am sorry to hear you are dealing with this right now. I have read some of your happy posts in the past, and sincerely hope you aren't being played and that she can get better.

I personally don't have an issue with the idea of your friends here getting you a plane ticket to visit her, and maybe helping with a few costs for your trip, but I don't think anyone should be using this community to raise money for her medical costs at this time. One trip is not is not that much money, and worth the con risk, especially since we know you more or less. Plus, even if all anyone gets out of it is believing that you either (a) finally got to meet your love or (b) learned the truth, there is some value received back to the donors. The second is a lot of money, and far too fraught with risk for fraud. If anyone I knew ever considered trying to donate money towards an internet friend of an internet friend's medical treatment, I would tell them they've lost their mind. There are better and far more legitimate ways for the costs to get covered if they need to be covered. Plus, as much as an unexpected medical emergency can bankrupt someone, no hospital can deny treatment based on lack of ability to pay - that violates the law and the ethics of the medical profession. All of which has probably been discussed over and over in the pages of this thread I've just skipped over ...

So. Plan a visit. Maybe a week or two. And make sure you know how to find her when you get there. JHMO.


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Seanmw
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25 Jul 2010, 2:48 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
Seanmw,

I am sorry to hear you are dealing with this right now. I have read some of your happy posts in the past, and sincerely hope you aren't being played and that she can get better.

I personally don't have an issue with the idea of your friends here getting you a plane ticket to visit her, and maybe helping with a few costs for your trip, but I don't think anyone should be using this community to raise money for her medical costs at this time. One trip is not is not that much money, and worth the con risk, especially since we know you more or less. Plus, even if all anyone gets out of it is believing that you either (a) finally got to meet your love or (b) learned the truth, there is some value received back to the donors. The second is a lot of money, and far too fraught with risk for fraud. If anyone I knew ever considered trying to donate money towards an internet friend of an internet friend's medical treatment, I would tell them they've lost their mind. There are better and far more legitimate ways for the costs to get covered if they need to be covered. Plus, as much as an unexpected medical emergency can bankrupt someone, no hospital can deny treatment based on lack of ability to pay - that violates the law and the ethics of the medical profession. All of which has probably been discussed over and over in the pages of this thread I've just skipped over ...

So. Plan a visit. Maybe a week or two. And make sure you know how to find her when you get there. JHMO.
yeah, money for a trip is pretty much my main goal. I'm not looking for anything further. Just said if there was anything extra, that i would put it towards the family. Considering there prolly wouldn't be much extra, i suppose that might just amount to buying flowers for her hospital room if there's even that much extra.
In any case, i'd put up an update as soon as there was roughly enough for the trip, to let people know that no more is really required.


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DW_a_mom
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25 Jul 2010, 2:50 am

ouinon wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
... do you have a history of paranoia? Or just a fervent love of debate?

A continuing ( chronic and often exhausting ) obsession with truth.
.


And the natural protective instinct of being a mom ;)

Seriously, though, some of us have been around the block a few times. You learn to act with eyes wide open. Sometimes one makes the decision to risk being taken for ride, but the important thing is to actively choose acceptance of the risk. If you don't ask all the questions and allow for the possibility concern is valid, you can't actively choose to accept the risk.


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Seanmw
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25 Jul 2010, 3:02 am

Seanmw wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
Seanmw,

I am sorry to hear you are dealing with this right now. I have read some of your happy posts in the past, and sincerely hope you aren't being played and that she can get better.

I personally don't have an issue with the idea of your friends here getting you a plane ticket to visit her, and maybe helping with a few costs for your trip, but I don't think anyone should be using this community to raise money for her medical costs at this time. One trip is not is not that much money, and worth the con risk, especially since we know you more or less. Plus, even if all anyone gets out of it is believing that you either (a) finally got to meet your love or (b) learned the truth, there is some value received back to the donors. The second is a lot of money, and far too fraught with risk for fraud. If anyone I knew ever considered trying to donate money towards an internet friend of an internet friend's medical treatment, I would tell them they've lost their mind. There are better and far more legitimate ways for the costs to get covered if they need to be covered. Plus, as much as an unexpected medical emergency can bankrupt someone, no hospital can deny treatment based on lack of ability to pay - that violates the law and the ethics of the medical profession. All of which has probably been discussed over and over in the pages of this thread I've just skipped over ...

So. Plan a visit. Maybe a week or two. And make sure you know how to find her when you get there. JHMO.
yeah, money for a trip is pretty much my main goal. I'm not looking for anything further. Just said if there was anything extra, that i would put it towards the family. Considering there prolly wouldn't be much extra, i suppose that might just amount to buying flowers for her hospital room if there's even that much extra.
In any case, i'd put up an update as soon as there was roughly enough for the trip, to let people know that no more is really required.
As of yet though, haven't really met the goal. Still a couple hundred short of the estimated $555 i think.
So onwards i go.

I may not have a mother's instinct, but i'm usually a good judge of character. Not totally naive either. & what i lack in a mother's protective instinct i make up for in Worried-fiance's-protective-instinct-for-the-girl-loves-more-than-life kinda thing.
Not technically a fiance as there are no engagement rings yet, but we both had agreed we wanted to get married together in a few years, god willing. That was before this whole thing came up though; the cancer... :(


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25 Jul 2010, 7:29 am

I am so sorry that I cannot contribute anything but I wish you both the best of luck and good health! And prayers. :)


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25 Jul 2010, 10:49 am

I have nothing in the way of financial contribution to make though, may hope go unto you kind sir along with your girlfriend...



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25 Jul 2010, 11:01 am

Sean, I bumped into my buddy at the store who was in prison who told me about different scams and mentioned this thread to him. He told me airports will reduce the cost of a ticket if you can prove a hardship like flying out to a funneral or seeing a sick person. But if you can prove that you need to fly out to see a girlfriend who going through chemo therapy they might kick a little off the plane ticket. Do not tell them you never met her before. He said its worth a shot but you might have to make it sound a lot worse than it really is. You really have to rub it in telling them this could be your last chance to see her. If you can cry on the phone all the better.


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25 Jul 2010, 1:48 pm

Seanmw wrote:

anyway, tried calling back and got a text back from her mom using her phone


red flag red flag



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25 Jul 2010, 1:58 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
Seanmw wrote:

anyway, tried calling back and got a text back from her mom using her phone


red flag red flag


i don't see how that is a red flag, :?


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MONIQUEIJ
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25 Jul 2010, 2:10 pm

Quote:
Image


i guess she may look differently cause it's clear in the right side she has a tan. or maybe it could be two different pics of different girls. 8O


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ouinon
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25 Jul 2010, 4:13 pm

MONIQUEIJ wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
anyway, tried calling back and got a text back from her mom using her phone
red flag red flag
i don't see how that is a red flag, :?

Because it could be absolutely anyone pretending to be her mum. Why would his girlfriend's mum text him, ( it doesn't fit generational profile ), on her daughter's phone too?
.



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25 Jul 2010, 4:18 pm

Sean, why don't you call her mother and talk to her?



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25 Jul 2010, 4:29 pm

ouinon wrote:
MONIQUEIJ wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
anyway, tried calling back and got a text back from her mom using her phone
red flag red flag
i don't see how that is a red flag, :?

Because it could be absolutely anyone pretending to be her mum. Why would his girlfriend's mum text him, ( it doesn't fit generational profile ), on her daughter's phone too?
.


I agree. Nothing is hanging together here. I am with the posters who think Seanmw is being set up. I am of the girlfriend's mom's generation and texting is something that parents of our age do only under duress because the teen/young adult children won't actually talk on the phone anymore. Middle aged people text reluctantly and only because their kids insist on it. A middle aged mom texting her daughter's unmet internet boyfriend doesn't even come close to plausible.

At first I was in the camp that figured this must be for real because what person would invest several months in setting up a scam? But Todesking made some very compelling arguments about targeting a person who is a member of a community that can be tapped by extension. And then I rememebered the many, many movies I've seen about the time-honored tradition of the "long con" which is a scam that takes months to develop ("The Sting" is one such movie and there have been many since, which show how "long cons" started long before the internet.)

Like somebody else posted, the best case scenario is that she's an honest person who will ultimately be fine because she's mistaken the diagnostic process to rule out cancer for a cancer diagnosis itself. The worst case scenario is that she's an honest person who really is that sick. And somewhere in between is a scenario that must be considered of a dishonest person pulling a "long con" (thank you Hollywood for teaching me that term). The two women in the pictures just don't look even remotely similar to me, beyond the broad similarity of being young and pretty brunettes.

Seanmw I know you have invested months of your life in her and I hope she is everything she says she is (except hopefully less sick than she thinks). But I really have the feeling that Todesking is right and you will spend money on a plane ticket only to be told "she's at the hospital" and she will always be unreachable in person (but available by phone and internet) and you will try to give money to a fiction she has created. I remember when you first met her and there were many doubters in Love and Dating and it did seem real. But all this is odd to say the least. I can understand a mom not wanting to post medical records on the internet (I certainly wouldn't. I won't tell anyone anything about my daughter here other than some untraceable anecdotes.) But the rest of it is just odd. It isn't hanging together rationally. I do wish you the best and I hope you are greeted by a real girl who says, "it was a misdiagnosis and I took some antibiotics and I'm fine now" and it was all a medical misunderstanding. (I can see how people could misinterpret "ruling out cancer" for "you have cancer"). But this might all be a very well crafted mirage.



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25 Jul 2010, 4:40 pm

sylvr wrote:
I am so sorry that I cannot contribute anything but I wish you both the best of luck and good health! And prayers. :)
Thanks, even just prayers mean something.


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