Cruel(lest) ways you've been rejected?

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(where to start? )

I have been used as the messager by a group of kids then dumped and shunned. When I tried to play with children at school, they would run away, and deliberatly avoid me, despite my young blond normal image. Watched a group of "friends" act discusted at me for having ice cream on my fingers, and they never spoke to me again. Got the line "SHUT UP" yelled at me by my peers, infront of teacher who does nothing, when I asked for a Pepsi polightly by saying "Hey. I like Pespi.". .. Been screamed at and chewed out by a 'friend' I had for years, then punished by an adult later for fighting back.

Being called a disease in the lunch room, and watching other kids dash to a different table. Peers refusing to hold my hands during class dances, or refusing to touch me during many class sports and games. Being called ugly, and told to "GO AWAY!" for wanting to play with wooden squares with them.... ect. My sister better tell me if it burned or not. I gotta have pictures so I can laugh my butt off! What the teachers say back then? "Oh let's ask her to socialise again." Eventualy to "Why won't she smile at all? Why won't she interact?" Either clueless, or helpless them adults.

Girl scouts. -> Lied to or not told about where the troop was going next in the camp ground areas, failed to find them, got chewed for it. Screamed at by little princesses in my troup. The younger ones didn't seem to have problems with me though, except for princesses' siblings, who were mean to... Gosh! Screamed at to leave the dirt surrounding a Queen B's tent, being accused of wanting to colapse it, and just for wanted to say "hi can I help?"! Told to stay away from their table. Yelled at for dropping no more than a speck of the same food, by mistake into her bowl. I havn't even eaten yet, let alone licked the utensil yet! (wow. that's kind of pathetic on their part) Not recieveing the rewards or badge other scouts got, for the same years in scouts. I didn't exist to some adults aparently.

As an adult I avoid social gatherings with strangers, and even avoid many possible friendships as well. Yet somehow I make friends sometimes. I ... ehm prefer to be alone though these days.

There was this one teacher in my junior/senior high school who always made the odd comment every now and then of ....."smile."...."Why don't you smile?".....I put on a fake smile just to shut her up...a kinda devious smile...while thinking nasty things Id like to say to her....FN Christ...I hated that when she made those comments.What reason is there to smile, when one is being rejected by their peers everyday, when one is bullied everyday...when it already takes alot of courage for me to muster the will everyday to get out of bed, get dressed, have a shower, then walk through the doors everyday knowing what hell awaits...I was already in that hell hole....she was only adding insult to injury by making those comments.....Only now do I have a reason to smile...Im in my second and final year of college, despite the hell I put up with in high school....A better future awaits me...one free from what I had in high school.When I mustered my will to get to school everyday I basically told myself...just a little longer...once you are done, the rest of your life will be gravy.

This brought back some painful memories. The only time I've ever gotten anything for Valentine's Day was in an elementary school class where all the students were required to get cards for everybody else.

Tory_canuck's story reminded me of another one.

Picture a 14-year-old boy who loved music and wanted to learn to play the guitar, so he signed up for a guitar class in high school. Picture this 14-year-old boy as one of only two beginners in a class full of experienced students who were pretty much playing at a near-professional level, and the only reason the other beginner was in the class was because her boyfriend was one of the aforementioned advanced students. Picture this student with a very poor excuse for a guitar with rusted strings and a mile-high action that made it very difficult to play, but he practiced and practiced despite getting minimal attention from the teacher. Now picture this 14-year-old boy having to re-arrange his schedule and drop the guitar class because of some health issues, going to the teacher with the schedule change slip, and, before the boy could say, "I hope I'll be able to try again next year" and give a reason for the change, the teacher said, "Well, I guess good guitarists are born, not made." Picture the boy believing the teacher thought he had no talent, so he doesn't go near another guitar for nearly 7 1/2 years. Not a pretty picture.

oh god now there's a familiar ring...the 'smile' bit. I sort of smile...but it literally hurts. I don't know what it is whether it's my muscles all along or my Lyme...but smiling makes the muscles of my cheeks ache. The most I will do usually is a closed-mouth semi-smile

For me, it didnt hurt me physically to smile, but I just didn't want to smile and couldnt because emotionally and mentally, I was not in a happy state...and therefore smiling would be out of the question...I did however smile and laugh and was happy when working with my dad in the house renovating or when I was not in school(high school...I do smile now in college).Being in Red Deer and not Vegreville anymore, I am not reminded constantly of the past and feel I can move on most of the time.

The rejections that hurt the most are the times I've been messed around and people haven't been straight up with me. The wife's had it too and she's not autistic, so believe me when I say it happens to everyone.

Oh yeah... the smiling. During the worst bullying I ever experienced in my entire life (one month summer trip in a foreign country with group leaders who were bullying me as well).

And people had the gall to ask me to smile more. It was a slap into my face

Oh and convenience friends... I never seemed to have other ones. I never was invited to parties (except once), they never called unless they wanted something from me (mostly to fix their computers), never showed interest in my obsessions... Thank $DEITY for IRC!

Other rejections were seldom since I never got close enough to people to get rejected... except my mother. So imagine her telling something, she promised to keep secret to my loud, short-tempered father... repeatedly.

And once I was not invited to a get-together which was on the date of my birthday. I never celebrate it, so this would have been the closest to a birthday party in more than 20 years. This did hurt. However, since this person is very kind to me and came a few days later to say happy birthday and even bought me presentes, I believe that this was just carelessness.

my worst one has been here on wrong planet - just trying to help people who want to get out from under the terrible dark cloud and social isolation of Asperger (http://unlearningasperger.blogspot.com/), being shouted down by people trying to pretend no-one wants healing
i can see the pain may be eased by trying to believe you don't want out, but surely some times it's worth trying to think positive... or else we'll get nowhere JC

My rejections tended to be more subtle and I was usually clueless.

In summer camp, the oldest kids had to babysit the younger ones while the counselors had a party. We worked in pairs. Somehow, I, the camp genius, was paired with the camp ret*d. I still don't know how this happened, not that I minded: the ret*d boy and I got along well. I think we shared naivete and lack of malice and guile.

When I was a senior in high school, two things happened. I was not invited to the (unofficial) senior trip. I heard tales of it, mostly involving beer, afterwards. I didn't know of the class prank until I heard it announced over the P.A. system.

I was much happier in college. I actually had a few dates and girlfriends.

The worst of the worst ways I've been rejected...

My father called me, tanked on booze and weed, a day before my 7th birthday. His exact words: "Sorry hun, can't make it. Can't walk yet." I went sort of numb, then asked if he could come later on in the month. His words: "Can't. Can't make it, I lost my job today." I asked him how he could have lost his job so quickly after acquiring one only a week previous to this call. "It's all the damn union's fault hun, they got me fired again. They're always out to get me." I rolled my eyes and hung up on him. I then proceeded to take down all the birthday decorations and put away the cake Mom just made. I cancelled the birthday party and slept all weekend. To this day he can't remember that conversation, or most of that month.

He forgot all my birthdays until I was twelve, show up stoned to my sweet sixteen, and got in a drunken argument with my mom even though they've been divorced since I was ten. He scammed his own son (my half brother) through credit, then turned around and tried to commit suicide with gasoline, then everybody forgot about the credit scam. Except me. Then a year after 'intense therapy' with some doctor I never found to be real, or existing, he suddenly needs cash or he's going to get evicted.

Years of useless BS from this seething bloody beast of burden have added up to the point where he's been missing and without a job for six months. I don't know where he lives, how he's surviving, or if he's dead. I just don't care anymore. Hell, I'd be first in line to shoot this man in the skull if it was legal. The worst rejection I've ever felt? The rejection of love in any form from my spineless, son of a b***h father that spends more money on Mary Jane than his only daughter!

PS: Pardon the multiple edits, I missed several spelling errors.

Last edited by SplinterStar on 14 Sep 2009, 11:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I guess I got lucky in the sense that people always rejected me in subtle ways, like not asking me to join (but then talking about it in front of me) instead of telling me to "get lost" (or something more vulgar) to my face.

A lighter shade of rejection to offer since this thread reminds me of fresh wounds...

I was secretly in love with this guy for 6 years. He was everything I could ever want in a lover, just the right kind of guy. I knew better than to approach him right off the bat and blurt out my affections. That would scare him away. I made friends with him first, learned his history, adapted to bits of his social life, became somewhat important to him. Then about a year ago, I finally had the stage set to ask him out. He said "Why would go out with you? We're just friends and nothing more." He was dead serious too. I knew my plans were crushed, so I just left him there. I moved from that town a month after the rejection. Every store, every park and trail, It all had memories of him attached to it. It drove me insane, I was haunted by past affections like they were demons. I'll probably never set foot in that town again.

I've tried dating since but it's really half-hearted and a miserable experience over all. I'm still damaged property I guess.

I've been rejected more times and in more ways than I care to remember - but in the past eight years or so, since I learned to avenge those who reject me and find ways of making them feel just as sh***y as they've made me feel, it's become easier to cope with.

One example from six years ago - had this friend I'd known for a round a decade or so. Bit of an as*hole, frankly, and definitely had some underlying mental health issues (although not ASDs). Exploited my friendship, ponced favours off me, tried to monopolise the friendship by making up nonsense about me and telling his other mates about it. Then persuaded me to let him move into my flat when his previous tenancy agreement ran out - if I'd had half the self-esteem then that I've acquired now, I'd definitely have said no.

He ended up homeless for a year after attempting to emigrate to Finland with no money, believing he'd get a job within a week. Being the mug I was at the time, I agreed to let him store his record collection at my flat until he found a fixed abode.

Three years later, he suddenly stopped communicating with me. Wouldn't come out, and made lame cop-out excuses not to see me. EVentually we had a furious phone slamming argument, initiated by him - he had the nerve to ring my parents house to ask them for my work number, so that he could phone me at work and scream at me for three minutes before slamming the phone down. After that, I just gave up on him, except for one small detail...

As I still had his records, and he owed me money anyway, I sold as many of them as I could. The ones I couldn't sell, I scratched with a kitchen knife until they were completely unplayable, shredded the sleeves to bits, and dumped them outside his front door on his birthday with a note that said "Happy Birthday Lardass". (he's very fat, possibly due to meds.)

So to hell with all the idiots out there who think it's morally acceptable to chew someone up and spit them out on a whim once you've sucked as much blood as pposible out of them. If you try and spit me out, I'll f*****g choke you.

I used to take crap from people thinking I deserved it and that if I made more efforts, they'd start treating me better. Not anymore. I still think it's my AS that makes people treat me with disrespect, but I don't justify their nastiness. Treat me bad, you're my enemy. And if I ever find a chance to avenge the humiliations without hurting myself in the process, I certainly will.

I can't divulge the particulars of how I was treated so cruelly, but I can say, it was by a group of Aspies and not NT's. At least they claimed to be Aspies. It was the cruelest rejection and treatment I have ever experienced in my life and I never saw it coming. I intend to write a book about it, changing all the names to protect the guilty of course. You can tell them by their stripes, as the saying goes.

Last edited by cosmiccat on 17 Sep 2009, 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

1)
Close family rejections/criticisms that could be incriminating so I will leave out he details here, only to say that I'm hard to know and my motives are miscontrued to where I'm apathetic/indifferent now.

2)
I have experienced what I call 'mini-twilight zone episodes' throughout my life though; e.g.:
Once in a grocery store a women that I knew encountered me in the aisle and started to small talk and I was listening , and the next thing I knew she threw her palm up to my line of sight(face) and shouted FINE , O.K. and jerked her shopping cart away and left.
I was stunned and my face flushed with adrelanine and I obssessed for a while of what went wrong.
This was just another 'feather in that cap' and it weighed me down with feelings of 'inability'/incompetence.