100 Ways to Annoy Somebody With Asperger's Syndrome

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I've kind of lost track of the numbers...

- Interrupt them in the middle of a sentence, preferrably repeatedly. By the time they get a chance to finish their sentence, leave.

- Walk away while they're talking to you, as if they weren't there.

- Talk about them right in front of them, as if they weren't there.

- Interrupt them when they are reading, writing or doing their special interests.

- Touch their stuff.

- When they've organized or ordered things in a specific order or place, make sure to mess it all up by putting things in the wrong places or turning them wrong.

- When you and the aspie are together somewhere, keep telling everyone on the phone that you're alone.

- Tell them they should express their feelings more. When they do, tell them their feelings are wrong or that they're overreacting.

-spit on floor/ground/sidewalk at regular intervals for no reason.

* Spread lies about them, and then tell them that anything they could possibly say would confirm the lies as true.

Any subject someone brings up, go into it with extreme detail. If they change the subject, do it again.

Not believe you when you say you have aspergers. f*****g guidance counselor that was one of the most excruciating experiences in my life.

If you are a pro photographer, push the aspie a bit to move them back to their seat, when you want to take a picture at a concert. Do not tell them your plans before the show.

This was last night.

- When getting on a half-empty night/early morning train, look for the only cabin that has the lights turned off and curtains closed, go into it and switch the lights on and open the curtains, so you can read your newspaper while torturing the eyes of the aspie who was in the cabin first and had the lights switched off and the curtains closed intentionally. By no means go sit in any of the other cabins, which all have the lights on, open curtains and plenty of space for you. Make sure to show no consideration to the other passenger's obvious preferences.

(This used to happen to me all the time and really made my blood boil.)

- Never finish a sentence.

Although I'm sure I've done it unconsiously many times myself, it still drives me crazy.

Also, tell them to guess something and afterwards don't give an answer to that question.
I don't know if a neurotypical person would be as obsessive about it, but I think he would let it go sooner than someone with Asperger's would.
Regardless of that, I'll always consider curiosity as a good ally.

thwart real discussion of something by ignoring it, changing the subject, or posting pictures of kittens.

get approached at work with "if you limit your soy intake you may just be able to cure your autism!"

1) I know by now that DIET has nothing to do with having an ASD! Its genetic in nature, besides, look at all these NT vegans who practically live on soy!
2) Who said i wanted to cure my Autism? I am USED to my thinking style, and i am PROUD to be different!

* Make a logical argument but base it on specious or incomplete data, while suggesting that it is still logical because it is structurally sound (even - especially - if it is not), as if such soundness implies accuracy.

I went to Subway today at lunch for a sandwich. Employee proceeded to make a different sandwich. I got so flustered I forgot what I ordered.

500-ish) Clean your daughter's room. Throw away things that you decide she no longer wants or needs. Re-arrange all of her stuff. Watch her freak out. Make fun of her for freaking out. Pretend to be confused about why she is freaking out. Tell her off for moving her stuff out of the places that you have designated for her. Continue to do this for 12 years. Feign confusion when she freaks out EVERY...SINGLE...TIME.

501-ish) Make promises and never keep them. Yell at her for being pessimestic when she finally decides that you will never do anything that you say you will. Tell her to be positive. Tell her that you do NOT make promises and then break them! You merely CHANGE YOUR MIND AND THAT IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!! !!

502-ish) Call her stupid and childish for becoming upset when you break yet another promise after she decides to be an optimist and believe you when you promise promise promise her that she can have that pet she's wanted for for EVER that is being offtered to her for free as a gift.

503-ish) Tell her that she is an adult when you want her to do something. Tell her that SHE IS THE CHILD when you do not want her to do something.

504-ish) Tell her that she is an adult and can do whatever she wants. Don't actually allow her to do ANYTHING that she wants because she lives under your roof and must obey your rules or move the f--k out!! !! Be sure that she is unemployed at the time. Belittle her for being unemployed when she has been job hunting and failing interviews for the past four years. Tell her that it is her fault that she fails interviews and to "stop being so f--king weird all the time!! !!".

505-ish) Yell at her for not "having a life" and acting like a normal girl, then teenager, then young adult. Tell her to go out and LIVE. Thwart her every attempt to leave the house. Use any excuse you can think of. Guilt her. Tell her that it is stupid. Get angry because where she wants to go isnt a party or a club, but the book store. Or a skate park.

506-ish) Tell her not to waste all of her money on books and skateboards or whatever it is that she is trying to waste her money on. Tell her that she should buy clothes, shoes, a nice purse.

507-ish) SCREAM at her for asking you ONE F--KING QUESTION when you are on the phone, but be sure to ask her as many questions as you damn well please when she is on the phone. Get angry/sarcastic/laugh at her when she tells said person on the phone "hey, i will call you back later." or "I have to go." when she is unable to listen to you and the other person simultaniously.

508-ish) When she does something that you find odd, gaze at the heavens and exclaim, arms raised for dramatic effect, "WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!".

509-ish) Yell at her about something. Get in her face while yelling. Tell her that she makes you sick. Five minutes later, be cheerful and talk to her as if nothing ever happened. Become offended when she does not wish to speak with her. Say "You don't want to talk to me? Ok, you wanna be like that? I can show you. Let's see if you want to talk when you get the hell out of my house."

-Lie, constantly

-Gripe about the Aspie in the office having a conversation with one of the few people she is comfortable with, even though you can flirt and chat all you want with people YOU want to talk to

-Sing along to music on your headphones, but make sure to sing WAY off-key and loudly enough you can be heard clear across the office

-Cheat, then brag about how you have cheated (on your BF, cheated the law, your former job, your family)

-Be as fake as possible, and therefore completely impossible to read, no matter how hard the Aspie tries

-Be two-faced, so that as soon as the Aspie decides never to trust you again, you pour on the fake kindness and the Aspie decides to give you a second (or 1000th) chance, then when the Aspie almost sort of trusts you again, swing back to fake and cruel again