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So I posted in the infamous AS partners forum for NT's...

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iammaz
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11 Feb 2015, 8:50 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I, myself, don't make a grand effort to conform socially (much to my mother's extreme chagrin!)


But the question is, do you feel the pressure from others to conform?

I suspect the people in my life have stopped trying to get me to. Otherwise I am just oblivious to their pressure (maybe it's too subtle?).
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11 Feb 2015, 8:57 pm

The pressure comes in many forms and is always there in the cultural background - everyone experiences it. Some of it is subtle - like the way that food is packaged in family sized packages (conforming is living in nuclear families, not choosing to live independently) - these things may seem trivial, but collectively they are all part of a mindset that is loaded with conformist prescriptions. In past decades women were expected to conform to stereotype of mother and wife only and there was enormous pressure on those who chose a career instead. No-one is immune from being exposed to conformist prescriptions, though we may choose to defy them, and the punishments for that can be just as subtle.



kraftiekortie
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11 Feb 2015, 9:08 pm

I've had lots of pressure to conform

Fortunately, I've gotten older, so there's less pressure.

I also carry myself a little better than previously as a nonconformist. Yes...physical posture is more important than you think.

People respect people who are "themselves."

LOL...My mother still absolutely RECOILS when she sees me eating...and I'm 54 years old!



iammaz
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11 Feb 2015, 11:40 pm

B19 wrote:
The pressure comes in many forms and is always there in the cultural background - everyone experiences it. Some of it is subtle - like the way that food is packaged in family sized packages (conforming is living in nuclear families, not choosing to live independently) - these things may seem trivial, but collectively they are all part of a mindset that is loaded with conformist prescriptions. In past decades women were expected to conform to stereotype of mother and wife only and there was enormous pressure on those who chose a career instead. No-one is immune from being exposed to conformist prescriptions, though we may choose to defy them, and the punishments for that can be just as subtle.


I never really considered "family sized" packaging as hinting towards conformity. My thought would be that family sized packaging allows them to sell more product without needing thousands of different kinds of packaging. And I'm not sure breaking a 'family sized' package of something into individual amounts for myself is considered "defying conformist prescriptions". I wonder how much of the 'conformist pressure' is assigned by people who have anti-conformist as part of their identity.
Maz



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12 Feb 2015, 12:23 am

I don't consider living in nuclear families conformist.
I think I would have had a problem living by myself when I was five years old.
I haven't found wp less conformist than nt forum, it seems more so sometimes.


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B19
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12 Feb 2015, 3:13 am

I was referring to adults, not children, the pressure on single adults to conform to "coupledom", marriage etc, and the pressure is culturally real. I wasn't suggested children parent themselves!



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12 Feb 2015, 8:18 am

I think both NTs and people on the spectrum conform, and encourage conformity in others, but they do so for different reasons. NTs are following their innate social drive, whereas people with ASD sometimes have issues with rigidity. Also, some ASD folks feel socially safer when there are clear-cut rules and expectations to follow, and some conform in an attempt to blend in and "pass" as NT.



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12 Feb 2015, 9:33 am

iammaz wrote:

I never really considered "family sized" packaging as hinting towards conformity. My thought would be that family sized packaging allows them to sell more product without needing thousands of different kinds of packaging. And I'm not sure breaking a 'family sized' package of something into individual amounts for myself is considered "defying conformist prescriptions". I wonder how much of the 'conformist pressure' is assigned by people who have anti-conformist as part of their identity.
Maz

I think it's hard to know if the "family sized" packaging is pressure to conform. I'm sure the box designers don't have a conformist agenda, except for the conformity of buying the product which they encourage by using popular buzz words such as "family." Though anything that reflects a common value might also be reinforcing it. I suppose with the cereal box, there might be a picture of the ideal, happy smiling nuclear family, which could be nudging people towards the view that the nuclear family is something to aspire to. I think it's very chicken-and-egg.



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12 Feb 2015, 10:32 am

^^ It's the same with women and body image. The makers of say, a vacuum cleaner, use thin and well-dressed women in their ads, but not because they want women to conform to that standard. Rather, knowing that many women already aspire to be thin and well-dressed, they use that desire to sell vacuums. The idea is that, subconsciously, women will believe that owning a certain vacuum will make them more attractive. The pressure these ads put on women to conform to a certain body image, while very real, is a self-perpetuating side effect.



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12 Feb 2015, 10:55 am

B19 wrote:
I was referring to adults, not children, the pressure on single adults to conform to "coupledom", marriage etc, and the pressure is culturally real. I wasn't suggested children parent themselves!



Let's see, I also notice people may feel pressure to have a bank account because it makes things so much easier and having a credit card because then if you have good credit, you will pay less each month for something like on a car. I agree about feeling pressure to conform.

How are people pressured to marry though? I know about tax breaks and you get more benefits when you marry like right to see your partner in the hospital or when they die and you deciding what to do with their things. Maybe this is it, same as for having children, people also feel pressure to have them and not everyone conforms to that because they are childfree.


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12 Feb 2015, 10:56 am

I have no problem with family packages. You just have more food is all and you won't run out as soon. I never saw it as a social pressure to conform.


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12 Feb 2015, 11:10 am

http://forums.delphiforums.com/ASPartne ... sg=13507.1

What do you all think?



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12 Feb 2015, 11:29 am

Quote:
What do you all think?


I think they are honestly confused/wrong about why they get banned on WP. On their site, they are accustomed to speaking with great disdain and hatred for an entire group of people. They don't understand that this site doesn't tolerate that. Instead, they think they're being banned for being NT, which is of course ridiculous. There are many lovely NT people here who are spouses/partners/friends/parents of folks with ASD.



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12 Feb 2015, 11:44 am

cubedemon6073 wrote:
http://forums.delphiforums.com/ASPartners/messages/?msg=13507.1

What do you all think?


Careful Cube. We aren't allowed to talk about banned members, I think that I know more about the specifics of what happened but it's best to discuss that via PM, so that it doesn't break the rules. I'll send you a PM giving my opinion.



DestinedToBeAPotato
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12 Feb 2015, 12:11 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:
http://forums.delphiforums.com/ASPartners/messages/?msg=13507.1

What do you all think?



I am highly amused by this. And I'm referred to as "potato person" - I quite like that nickname, hilarious.


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iammaz
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12 Feb 2015, 12:24 pm

cubedemon6073 wrote:
http://forums.delphiforums.com/ASPartners/messages/?msg=13507.1

What do you all think?


I think I don't really care anymore. The threads here are more interesting and I'm not sure why you'd bother to go there again. I enjoyed the conversation with them in this thread but I wouldn't post on their forum (as they requested). It is a shame they said dumb things and were banned.
Maz