Obsessed with someone on WP

Post Reply New Topic

Yeah, it's hard to go out and meet people though because of my social anxiety. Most people are straight as well and clubs aren't really my thing. So there really aren't many places I can go to find someone
It's not actually that I want a girlfriend really. If I didn't like this person, then I'd be happy being single. It's just that when I like someone it makes me sad. Then I just have to sit and wait for it to go away.
The replies in this thread have helped a lot though. Even if I haven't responded to them all, I've read them so thanks to everyone.

You look cute in your avatar picture plus your posts, so it would be easy for anyone to get obsessed with you.

yeah our very pretty I love your glasses

I think many here are related to you, me for example I also have social anxiety and I don't know anything about dating and stuff like that. I understand the frustration and I really feel bad that I can't actually tell you how to make it go away, only with time or finding someone or something else to be obsessed with. But you are 19 right? you have plenty of time ahead, you seemed to have more hope than I could have.

I'll be 19 in less than a month.

so you got lots of time sweetie were almost the same age-I know how it feels

But I'm not going to find anyone at university, then I'll be 21 by the time I've left there. Then I'm moving to a really quiet part of Ireland. Everyone there will probably be Catholic so I doubt I'll get a girlfried then. So I only have two more years.

You are right, one movie will not dramatically change anything. However, it can open up the door to a more positive way of thinking. Along with emotional support and therapy / seeking out more self help, it can be a step in the right direction.

Even I have suggested that it is going to take babysteps and support from family, but I do believe that anyone stuck in a rut like this needs to make a decision to make positive changes in their life.

I have been in the spiral many times myself, first I withdraw from social situations, I am not talking big wild parties, I a mean things like going to a park, a mall, a movie, agreeing to meet up with an aquaintance. Then school starts to cause more and more anxiety and slowly I start missing classes. Next comes not wanting to go to busy stores, then any stores at all. Finally you are unable to order a pizza over the phone or return a movie to Blockbuster! Even at home, I avoid answering the door, even sitting downstairs with my family seems like "too much", and hole myself up in my room.

Every step is a step away from the anxiety and stress. However you expect to find that life will get easier to "cope" with, only it doesn't, it gets worse. It is like someone with an injury. Sometimes you need to take a step back and not "use" an injured arm or leg. This is nessisary for it to "heal" and get better. But the longer you don't use it, the weaker it gets, eventually it may atrophie to a point where you can't use it at all anymore. To get it working again will take a lot of work, and even a fair amount of discomfort, but in time, with the right support, it does get better.

Soph, I want you to know that I have always found your posts to be very insightful and interesting, in no way to you stand out in the WP community from my perspective as any different or less valued then any other member. You write with obvious intellegence and passion. What you are feeling, is very normal, and a lot of people go through it, myself included. that said, you have to understand that the negitive things you see in yourself, are really not any more rational or real then the "fat" an anorexic sees on their bodies. You have the right to a happy life and all the things you want in this world, your wants and desires in life are very realistic even if they feel unobtainable right now. The first step though, is going to be making a baby step towards imbracing a different way of thinking, I stand by my recomendation for the movie, it is a rather insightful one. From there, you need to asess the next step that you need to take on a journey to a happy life. I think that replacing negative thoughts with positive ones may be a good place to start.

For example: No one will ever like me. (negative)
I would like to meet a nice young lady one day. (Positive).
Or: My friends online really care about me. (positive and true!)

Is it a residential university?

I think everyone who posted here is obsessed with you, Sopho. I know that when I awoke last night to rol over, that I wondered how you are doing!

This is true, at least for a lot of us. I have been trying to send you good vibes all day wondering how you are doing.

I do go out and meet people but if a girl taiks to me or anyone really who might say they like me or want to start a convo i am that overcome with anxiety that it tends to never get past a smile or hi or something.

Last edited by Lateralus on 04 May 2007, 12:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.

move to Northern Ireland (that's the prodestant half right)
and not everyone in Ireland is Catholic

Thank you.
The psychologist said that I have incapacitating social phobia, so it's taking a lot tot ry and get over it. But I have improved a lot. My social anxiety is made worse by some of my other things related to AS - I have topographical disorientation so I worry about getting on the wrong bus, off at the wrong stop, getting lost etc. But I'm working round that and I can even walk up to the museum on my own now, find my way in and walk around without getting too stressed. There's no way I could have done that this time last year. So I am trying; I'm seeing a counselor about little things like helping me go out to buy a drink at uni etc. So once I work on my social anxiety, I might find it all a lot easier. It's just that every time I feel like I make some kind of improvement, my life seems to get worse straight afterwards. So it's hard to find the motivation then. I guess I just have to keep trying though.

you make it worse right afterwards by thinking it's gonna be bad
if you say to yourself I'm haiving a f**king great day and nothing is gonna stand in my way chances are nothing will because your not creating problems for yourself

I live at home and get dropped off / picked up every day because I can't get public transport on my own/ So I don't live in halls.


Thanks. I doubt it though lol