LFA brother refusing to toilet train himself

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Just what other outrageous comments have I made about kids? Are you mixing me up with someone else perhaps?


My bf said it's not abuse to keep your kid in the bathroom until they go.

not taking any sides but how is that abuse? holding kid when he wont want to comply aint considered abuse...then again u might take "tying" too literally read it as "holding" im sure no parent would never literally tie up their kid

Everyone has their own definition of abuse. Some people think it's abuse to send your kid to their room, lot of aspies seem to think its abuse to take things away from your kid such as computer, their favorite toys, their bike, etc. and some people think spanking is abuse they have actually called the cops on that parent and I am sure the person gets very surprised when the officer tells them "She has every right to spank her kids."

Anything that is considered abuse by the state is officially child abuse. They're not going to take your kid away for taking their favorite TV show away but they will take your kid away if you burn your child with hot water it left a mark, or you hit your child you left a mark on them. What sucks is sometimes you still get charged with abuse even if it was unintentional such as you were giving your kid a bath and you didn't realize the water was hot so when you placed your kid in it, they got burned. Well the solution to that problem would be, feel the water first before you put your kid in it. When you turn the water on for the bath, feel the water as you turn it on for the right temperature so you won't have to let the water out of the sink or tub and have to start over again because the water was scalding hot.

Typing your kid to the chair is a figure of speech? I thought it was literally also and they don't get in trouble for doing it to their kid so it must not be abuse then I thought.

I think the 5 hours is the issue-anyway there are no easy answers-I was still at home when we took care of my Grandmother, who had senile dementia and she did a bit of sh!t smearing but the situation wasn't as rough as this . Is professional in-home help available? I know that can be incredibly expensive. My father tried to take care of his mother as a point of pride and it almost killed him. When he had his first heart attack the doctor said if you don't put your mother in a nursing home you are going to die. I can't imagine the amount of stress you and your mother go through and I've seen it pretty bad. What kind of professional resources does she have available?

No, I don't have you mixed up with someone else. On most other subjects I like your posts, and find myself in agreement with what you say, but not when it comes to your opinion on raising kids.

I think it's wrong to lock a child in a bathroom. This is someone that can't communicate at all. He'd have no idea as to why you're locking him in there. I think it's wrong to lock any kid in the bathroom, and if something happened to them while they were locked in there it is possible for the parent to be charged with neglect, even worse than that if the child died as a result.

It's always considered abuse to tie children (or adults) to potty chairs, always.

Thanks for your concern, but, we already went down that route...no success.

She sent him to a special class for autistics for three years. He was constantly a wreck due to anxiety. He developed aggressive behaviours which were previously very unusual for him, had frequent visceral problems which his specialist said were due to too much stress, lots of meltdowns, the list was endless.

He made literally no progress, and wasn't adjusting after three years, so my mother quit sending him to the place. He improved. His health went back to normal, the aggression disappeared, no meltdowns unless he was anxious or ill or otherwise disrupted by something.

I agree with Serenity, tying a child or even holding them down is abuse, and for someone who's profoundly LF it's not only abusive but also completely pointless. Whereas a normal or highfunctioning child might comply just to get away from the pain and humiliation it's likely that a severely LF child simply won't understand what's happening and will see it as random unwarranted torture. And I would seriously advise against locking him in the bathroom, just imagine how badly he could hurt himself if he started getting desperate, what with broken mirrors, tiles and tiled floors.

Aside from being irresponsible and cruel it should be illegal.

Many people consider harsh methods not to be child abuse, both parents and non-parents, but restraints should only be used to prevent selfharm or harm to others. If parents are tying their children to the potty I hope CPS comes and takes them away, otherwise the children are likely to be permanently traumatized.

Have you ever heard the expression "potty-trained at gunpoint" about severely anxious and neurotic people? There's a reason for that saying- potty training is not something to be forced.

I agree Serenity. It can cause anxiety because he will associate the bathroom as a punishment and will never go in one again. When i was younger, i was in a special school and they would lock me in because I was crying a lot from stress at home. Ever since then, I never used the bathroom while I was at school. Since they are trying to get him to use the bathroom, they want it to be positive. Locking someone anywhere can bring on associations with being bad and/or punishment. Does he have a favorite activity, even a sensory activity, like a sensory to.With the activity or sensory toy maybe he can sit on the toilet while playing with a sensory toy. Some kids like those squishy balls where the manipulate them(i like those to sometimes). The reward can be when he is on the toilet, he can play with the toy. But the toy has to be used for the bathroom only, so that he knows that the only way he will get it is if he goes to the bathroom. Serenity is correct about the reward system. I love reward systems myself.
Good luck with everything. I hope all goes well. But remember things take time, but he will get there.

I do stand by what I said, but I think that I was a bit harsh in my posts. I feel that I owe Spokane Girl an apology. It's occurred to me that while I have an overabundance of empathy for children, animals, and disabled people that are innocent, and vulnerable I do not have a very good grasp of empathy for other adults. After much thought, I realized that Spokane Girl may not be trying to sound cruel, rather she may have a difficult time with being able to put herself in a position of a child, the same way as I had a difficult time realizing how she might see the situation from a different POV then me. I can get really riled up when it comes to anyone harming children, and in this case I think I jumped the gun in thinking that someone was thinking of intentionally harming a child.

I'm sorry, Spokane Girl for my rush judgment, and harsh words.