What's it like to be normal?

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All this is certainly true for me anyway. Maybe that's the NT in me. But I see it here too in anguished threads of a certain theme that appear maybe once every month or so. In these threads, the OP will say that they have been posting and posting and posting and posting but nobody acknowledges their posts either by referring to them or by quoting them. People will step in with tips on how to write the sort of post that will make people want to respond to it. What are those threads but exactly the sort of thing you are talking about? The only difference is that the craving for others to acknowledge you exist is being expressed in cyberspace rather than in physical space. So I think that's a human thing as much as an NT thing. If it weren't, the archives wouldn't be full of "is anybody reading my posts??" wails.

NT means hypocritical, judgmental, insensitive, unsympathetic, rude, arrogant, conceited, etc (Not quite, really!)

Are we a bigot today?

ruveyn

The (not quite, really!) & were meant to indicate humour!

boring.

I agree
this is true of every one
NT and AS
every one want to be noticed and have his identity confirmed and have at least someone that can communicate with him
the difference is that AS typically or generally have an identity that goes deeper than a position in the social network or in some hierarchy or any other such factors that so crucial to the NT identity and that one of the main source for the tragic and painful state of affairs between us and them
as Hovis wrote, our mere existence is making hole in the NT sense of reality
and vice versa
the difference is AS are generally more tolerant and can take a lot before they explode because their identity lies much deeper than the relative things NT cling to so desparatly
that's why in most cases it is the NT bullying AS and not the oposite
i want and need to be acknowledge just like an NT
even more so
but i don't enforce or manipulate people to recognize or acknowledge me which is one of the reasons most NT see me as a detached, freaky, alien creature
we need recognition and we need it badly but it had to be fair,balanced,integrative,communicative,respectful(not the NT kind of respect),creative and attentive
qualities that are missing badly in the social skills of the NT because they are so caught up with the most trivial and egocentric aspect of their existence
so
i may not serve the NT meaningless pride and they would give me hell for that but they don't acknowledge my love and usually my reaction is just to go away and live then alone which makes them even madder because most of them doesn't have the slightest clue about life and beyond their mask of confidence the are as frightened as little babies

excellent
very insightful and respectful of others who took their time to think and expressed themselves

we may have to be more careful not to let the pc thing stand between us and accurate observations as they are so crucial to our survival

Everyone on Earth is abnormal. So don't sweat it.

ruveyn

that's not entirely true,
'normal' maybe a relative term and from a certain point of view meaning less but still it could be very useful and practical for an AS to map his deviations from the norm as a means for self realization and optimal decision making .
I'm for sweating it.

"Don't be PC" should not be used as an argument for bigotry. BruceCM was joking, but there are people who honestly believe that all NTs are hypocritical, judgemental, insensitive, unsympathetic, rude, arrogant, conceited, etc. This is not correct. The thing that differentiates them from those with an ASD is that they do not display autistic traits to a disabling degree, not any particular character traits.

i didn't wrote "Don't be PC" but recommended of cautious use of it
but what u just wrote is not PC as possible because to see autistic traits only from the "disabling" angle is the worst kind of bigotry because it lacks the critical and necessary angle of why is a certain traits are disabling in a certain society
it's like blaming the African american for their disabled status in the US society at certain times and today
context is the best weapon against bigotry
otherwise it's just big words and hypocrisy
for instance
an honest man would be disabled in today society
and too many AS are honest to a fault

I've seen the kinds of posts you mean, and, to be honest, they puzzle me a little as well. If I started a thread and no-one replied, I would be somewhat disappointed, but because the exchange of ideas on the subject that I was interested to read hadn't taken place. It wouldn't bother me much, if at all, that nobody had acknowledged me, per se. Perhaps that makes me even more Aspie than I thought, or perhaps it's something else. Trying to write the sort of post that makes people want to respond doesn't seem logical, because then the actual content of the post is becoming irrelevant, and the poster is saying that all they care about is the validation - a bit like small talk.



Yes. If I consider it, I would say that I perceive communication - and the purposes behind it - in a different way than most people. Thus:

Most (NT) people would place 'things to do' (like hobbies and interests) and 'social relationships' in two completely different categories. Although socializing might also be a way of passing the time, their need to be social is still for a completely different reason than simply occupying their mind.

For me, these two things are in the same category. Communicating with people has a mental purpose, because I want to pass on information, or enjoy discussing ideas - which is why small talk, which has no purpose other than to forge/strengthen a social bond, is utterly pointless to me. I am certainly not incapable of caring about people, yet I believe they do fundamentally occupy the same box in my mind as objects, objects that it is possible to communicate with.

I feel that I am a 'complete unit' in myself, a unit which can look out and be interested or entertained by outside factors, but doesn't need to connect with and bring them partly into itself to feel whole, which I think most people do. Does this make any sense?

i'ts not just that i share your 'complete unit' attitude but i can also trace many of the AS so called disabilities and traits to this unified view or mentality we have,
i too have trouble putting career and family in 2 different compartments
have trouble separate my love from my passion the way most NT do
have trouble separating interests from my social life
and so on
if u look at the record u might find that most of the behaviors that brand us as lucking social skills stem from this deficit in double faced attitude toward life
that why i never consider NT point of view of myself seriously and they are completely transperant to me and as such doesn't interest me even a bit
i can and must live the unified way
integration is my middle name which makes the seemingly sophisticated NT manipulative nature huge annoyance to me
what i found interesting and encouraging is that as i read AS forums i find more and more evidence of this kind of identity which proves to me that AS is not just some kind of deficit as too many people want us to believe but something to be happy about
we are the lucky one
may god have mercy on the NT