Do you HATE using the words Sir or Mam?

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Don't twist my words. I'm not sure if you've done it deliberately or if you've just reacted blindly to a few terms in what I wrote while neglecting to actually read what I wrote. In either case, it's annoying.

I do show minimal polite respect. I am perfectly civil until the point when a person thinks that they are worth more than simple politeness, without having done anything to earn it. I treat people decently; I remember to say "please" and "thank you" when appropriate, I take the rights and concerns of other people into consideration when planning my actions. Considering this, somehow my refusal to be subservient and obsequious makes me a bad person? It's not as though I'm insulting people. If I'm asked politely, I will refer to people as "Mr" Mrs" or Ms" X.

I said that I have contempt for people who demand respect without earning it. Do you honestly believe that simply because a person is older than you, they can demand (not request) something they haven't earned? I'd have contempt for anyone who did that, no matter the context.

Who said anything about contempt for hypothetical individuals? My opinions are not pre-conceived. I form them based on what I see of a person's character.

On the subject of character, you think you can judge mine from two short paragraphs. I'm not certain what such snap judgements say about a person's social skills and theory of mind, but I somehow doubt it's favourable.


Incidentally, most people who know me refer to me with terms such as "polite" and "a decent, genuine person".

My p .e. (gym) teacher once told me I had to 5 press-ups because I asked him a question and forgot to say sir on the end of it (I didn't call him by his first name or anything just didn't say 'sir'). Nah in the adult world I no longer have to call people that. It was a bit of a hard habit to break but I did it.

hi, i don 't think that other person was twisting your words. you do come off as very contemptuous. the fact that people have to have endured certain circumstances to gain your respect speaks volumes on that.

your defiance also gives off this image, intentionally denying respect for those who seem to demand it.

BUT

having said those two things, i may just think this because i work the opposite way to you. i give people respect right away and from there, they can lose my respect or gain more of it according to their actions from that point on. i refuse to make assumptions about people i have just met these days, it has happened to me too many times, i always give people a chance, just like i wish people had done for me.

i am more "innocent until proven guilty" while you seem to be more "guilty until proven innocent".

Not if it is part of being polite or is part of a ceremonial protocol.

ruveyn

I use them quite often, ma'am.

You are mistaken. He took quotes out of context and completely misinterpreted them.

I don't make assumptions about people, and I have no idea where in my writing I've said or implied that. I am "neutral until proven otherwise". I give people civility at first, and they can gain or lose it depending on how they act. If they return my civility by acting as though I am less human than them, how does that merit respect?

When I talk about people demanding respect, I am not referring to everyone who is older than me. I am talking about a subset of older people who think that having lived for longer

1. Means that they know more than a younger person on every subject, regardless of which of them has more actual experience with the subject.
2. Means that their opinions are always correct, no matter what evidence there is to the contrary.
3. Believes that everyone must bow and scrape to them, while they have the right to treat everyone like dirt.
4. Believes that simply being born sooner than some people makes them a better class of human being.

These are the type of people who, during their working life, would toady up to the boss, while treating those working under them as scum. They treat people well as long as they are useful to them. If the person is perceived as an inferior and thus useless, their whole attitude changes. These are the people who I am contemptuous of. You were correct about my being contemptuous, but you were mistaken to assume that that contempt applied to everyone.

I use sir or mam only rarely and only when it is called for, this might be if a homeless person asks me for change and I don't give him any (I never do - if I did I wouldn't know when to stop) and he asks again and I have to say no again. In situations like that those words are useful, because you have to make a point of letting them know that you are not disrespecting them.

Yes sir! i prefer 2 use them. its polite.

I never understood the process of 'scraping'. I mean, bowing, I sorta get, but the scraping, not so much.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but what I'm seeing here is that Who_Am_I's problem is specifically with people who demand respect as though they're better than everybody else. People who expect to get respect but never show any themselves. That doesn't conflict with the "innocent until proven guilty" bit that 88BK mentioned, because the reason for Who_Am_I's contempt for such people is that those people who demand respect are disrespectful themselves. They "prove" themselves "guilty" by being demanding and disrespectful to the people that they're demanding respect from.

Just wanted to quote that 'cause it made me giggle..

Ive never really liked the terms, sir just sounds a bit stuffy and ma'am sounds off (the pronunciation of it seems more like a derogatory attack on mammary glands). Mister and Miss/Mrs. i can understand, but not the other two. But it seems that the people that expect the sir/ma'am think its gonna make them look good/better, like those who say it are their slaves. I hate using those words, and I still do.

Yes, you are absolutely correct, and thank you for putting it a lot more concisely than I did. I'm glad someone understands what I was trying to say.

Sinsboldly: now that you mention it, I'm not sure about the "scrape" part either. I used the term because I've always seen "bow and scrape" as a unit.

*goes to look it up*


Results of brief research.

I seriously cannot picture what the heck that's supposed to mean.. is it like pointing the foot backwards like being on one knee bowing? That description sounds more like twisting one's leg 180 degrees around..

This picture shows the "elaborate bow" pretty well, but it doesn't have the foot back. In the action that's being referred to, one foot slides backwards along the ground while a hand moves over and forward/out in an open gesture, while the person bows.

I call my male teachers Sir, but I don't call my female teachers Ma'am because as a female, I think it makes them sound older than they really are.

My high school home class had many boys who talked back, but these two boys who came from the same middle/secondary school always made it a point to call our home room teacher "Ma'am" as a form of respect, even when saying something funny to her.

Same here. I think it's still appreciated.

I never refer to anyone as sir or ma'am. I refuse to defer to anyone based on their age, or seniority. It's a stupid NT rule and I refuse to live my life beholden to idiotic rules that make no sense. I will address people respectfully, but I will not call anyone sir or ma'am. But that might just be me.