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Do you want children?
NO 66%  66%  [ 125 ]
Yes 19%  19%  [ 36 ]
I already have/had children 14%  14%  [ 27 ]
Total votes : 188

StewartMango
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21 Nov 2009, 5:12 pm

fiddlerpianist wrote:
StewartMango wrote:
Willard wrote:
Oh, BTW: just because you have AS, it does not automatically follow that any child you might ever have will have it as well. Its not a disease virus that infects everything you ever touch. And if you use THAT as an excuse for not wanting children, you're EXACTLY THE SAME as the people who want in utero testing so they can abort any potentially autistic (or dyslexic or redheaded) fetus before it becomes viable. Lets not create anything less than the perfect superman. Sig Heil.


Umm...I don't want children PERIOD it has nothing to do weather they have AS or not. It sounds to me you're calling me a monster for NOT wanting children. :evil:

You're acting like the breastfeeding woman in the cartoon you posted.

Willard was not addressing you. BTW stands for "by the way," which means it was an aside.


He thinks I would kill my own child if s/he has AS, that's why I got mad, I would NEVER kill a child!! ! I just wouldn't make them, which is why I'm going virgin for life.


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Eggman
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21 Nov 2009, 5:13 pm

then don't, its as simple as that.


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StewartMango
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21 Nov 2009, 5:24 pm

The purpose of me making this thread was to meet people who also didn't want to have children, also it was to vent, because I feel people are 'forcing' me to have children.


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bhetti
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21 Nov 2009, 5:31 pm

I have kids and I tell them often that more people should choose not to breed because they don't have what it takes to parent, and on top of that women should think long and hard about whether they want to spend their time raising kids instead of pursuing a career because chances are high that if a woman stays home with kids she'll end up in poverty later in life. it's not a choice to make without understanding the realities and consequences one will be faced with.

it's also my opinion that once you have a kid, make them a priority, raise them right and don't make them suffer for your wrong choice.

kids are a lot of work. I'm exhausted every day. I wish their dad would help out. none of that is an excuse to throw in the towel and whine, though.

it's possible that if I'd known about AS I would have chosen not to breed... not because I'm afraid of passing it on, but because raising them on my own and putting myself in a position where I can be abused long-term by their dad isn't something I would choose if there were another choice. still, when I look at them I would not give them up for anything. I also don't talk about "when I have grandkids", I say "if you or your brother/sister ever have kids."

I fully support people who choose not to breed. I don't think they have to justify their decision. it's like asking every person who has a child "why did you decide to have a child? doesn't it hold you back from reaching your potential? aren't you concerned about quality of life for your kids and grandkids with the population growing at the rate it is?"

I guess I would ask anyone who asked why I had kids "and how is that any of your business?"



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21 Nov 2009, 5:40 pm

no one can, unless they do some rathewr illigle things


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gramirez
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21 Nov 2009, 5:51 pm

I used to be "NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS!! !", but then I thought about it more - and I'm not as opposed to it as I used to be. If I ever did decide to have kids, I would never have more than 1.


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mechanicalgirl39
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21 Nov 2009, 5:58 pm

I can't stand little children. No disrespect to them personally, but they are walking balls of overload. Last time I saw my 2 year old nephew he was so overwhelming to be around I just stuck some cotton wool in my ears so I wouldn't hear him yell and cry quite so loudly, and left the room.

I do like the idea of having children, but I really don't think I would stand up well to the reality of it.

So I don't intend to have children. Maybe I would be a good mother, maybe I wouldn't, I would rather err on the side of NOT messing up a child's life by not being able to deal with him/her properly.

I respect people who do choose to have children and give it their all. It seems a pretty daunting thing to do.


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jc6chan
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21 Nov 2009, 6:12 pm

I might want children but I can see myself having trouble finding a gf, which means I won't get married which means I won't end up having children.

Besides, I can't see myself looking after children.



veiledexpressions
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21 Nov 2009, 6:50 pm

I have children, and I love them. They do overwhelm me at times, but they also bring happiness.

That being said, I fully understand and support those who want to live a child-free life. Children are not for everyone, and I think it's best that those who don't want them, don't have them. Too many children who don't want them don't seem cognizant of that fact, and end up with children. It is the kids who suffer.



21 Nov 2009, 6:58 pm

I so badly want kids.


I want to have one or two. And that's it. As a child I wanted to have a big family but now that I am older, we can only fit two. I think two is the minumum poor people should have. If they can afford another one under their budget and won't need help with food stamps or WIC, etc. then they can have more.


I wouldn't mind playing with them and taking them out. I would love them and wouldn't see them in my way. I would love Christmas shopping again but then when they get older, they be harder to shop for and I will hate it again.



KenM
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21 Nov 2009, 7:05 pm

I never felt I was the parental type. Never had the desire or need to have children. They cost too much to raise and take up all your free time.
I will never have kids, a couple of years ago I got "fixed" to make sure of that. I thought about getting it done for over 10 years.



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21 Nov 2009, 9:59 pm

I don't want children. I've always been this way. I find kids so much fun to observe, but it's in a scientific manner. It's hard to explain. What some people find cute (knocking things off of high chairs, playing peek a boo) I find fascinating....not cute.

More importantly, I don't make emotional connections with people like "normal" people do, so I would be terrified that I would emotionally neglect a child. A child doesn't deserve that.



21 Nov 2009, 10:03 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Is there a link between AS and not wanting to be a parent, or is it just coincidence?



Maybe a coincidence. Even normal people don't want kids and did you know lot of kids are unplanned? But parents end up keeping them because they love them. I think that is why there are so many lousy parents in the world. They were not meant to be parents and their kids were unplanned. There are people out there who do have kids because they wanted them but don't realize how much work they are so they end up being lazy parents. I am sure there are people out there who do have kids unplanned and turn out to be fine parents. My dad didn't want any and then he found out her was infertile and he decided he wanted kids. Then he got fixed and had them. He turned out to be a fine dad but my mom did all the discipline and punishments.

My brothers were unplanned too but my parents wanted more kids but weren't sure if they could have anymore because it took them a while to have me. But then she got pregnant three more times and it was unplanned, the third one ended up in a miscarriage.



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21 Nov 2009, 10:15 pm

I do but I'm financially and emotionally not responsible for a child yet.


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21 Nov 2009, 11:49 pm

I've not wanted to have children ever since I realized that it was actually optional.
Partly, I just don't want to pass on my genes. People in my family are so prone to depression and stuff.. it seems like it would be cruel to create new lives that would have my genetics.
Also, it seems kinda selfish to make new kids when there are so many unwanted ones.

I've only ever encountered one person who had a good argument for having kids.. This guy I used to hang out with said that the love a parent has for their child is the greatest love a human can have, and why wouldn't you want to experience that? I'm sure he'll make a great father someday. (Or already is one, for all I know..)
But of course, I'd hope it's possible to feel that love for children that aren't biologically yours as well.



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21 Nov 2009, 11:51 pm

I adore kids and can't stop smiling when I see a little kid. I would like to be a dad eventually, but I don't think i would be able to handle it, taking care of my niece and nephew (who I love to death) is a chore in and of itself! :lol:


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