Which AS trait would you choose NOT to have?

Post Reply New Topic

Misunderstandings and giving off wrong messages. I'd keep everything else, because I love my personality.

Well AnnePande, that would fit me to a T. Three weeks left to finish a thesis sounds like far more than enough time to me. But I also have major difficulty doing things I know I should do. Like getting an oil change (it's been almost a year). Saving money for a down payment for moving out. I've got 3 months, 6 paychecks, and I have bills for each with 0$ in savings. Yet I still eat out almost daily, despite having a free chow hall. Cannot study the CDC's I'm required to do by my job because I test next week and it's only 3 large books. I feel that I have plenty of time. And I'll feel that way until the day of the test. And then suddenly, time is gone. Thank Gaia I don't need to study, but I really might want to at least read the damn things...

I don't know why there is always so much time, and then suddenly none, but that's the way it is. And it's in pretty much everything from putting off buying tickets for a vacation, to work projects, to fun projects, even to eating and sleeping. Sure I'm hungry, but I have time to eat later. Yeah I work in 5 hours, but I've got time to sleep a bit later. (Course, I also have difficulty sleeping at night in general, but that's different.)

I think part of it is it's so much easier to just stay within my own world of reading, gaming (though oddly I even put off going to get new games), or, if I'm at work, here and on the Marvel boards (Lol at that site not being blocked).

The one AS trait I'd choose not to have is the inability to establish / maintain sexual relationships. I could probably live with the others were it not for that one, although if I wasn't working I'd probably nominate the difficulty in getting/keeping a job as another undesirable aspect of having an ASD

Hi Vyn, whether 3 weeks are enough to finish a thesis or not depends on how much you have left to write. (Fortunately it showed that it was enough for me. I finished in time. )
My problem was, I couldn't always figure out if it was enough, because I could never be totally sure how I would function the next day.
It bugged me a lot when people asked me: "Can you get finished at your deadline day?" I was like, yeah, I hope so, shouldn't I be able to, or maybe I wouldn't, but I can't really answer the question, because you never know the day of tomorrow, so to speak, and I thought, why do I have to answer this question all the time?!

But the last 2 days before deadline, I began to feel very, very concentrated on my goal, to finish the thesis (some might call it stress, but to me it was a positive thing). But I didn't get the feeling before those 2 days before. But it helped anyway.
It's not always about feelings, as NTs tend to think.

Now my executive dysfunction shows in difficulties to try to find a job. Or even figure out which kind I should look for. Recently I've moved to an apartment, a full time job in itself with all that must be done, and then I focus on that only, and forget about the job thing. A result of having a one-tracked mind.

Executive dysfunction is an AS trait that I would choose not to have, btw.

Today I would have to say, my inability to know what is really going on in a situation without being told. I found out yesterday that someone I love is having a really big problem with me and I had no clue. I thought all was fine... if you do not tell me, I do not know. Today I wish I had that 'mind reading' ability that so many people have, rather than being oblivious. On any other day though, I would likely mention sensory issues... problematic they can be. Or perhaps procrastination. Let me quote Willard... "Attention runs through my fingers like water and suddenly I realize I'm doing something completely unrelated" I looked at my clock half an hour ago when I started typing this response and wondered why it was noon. I thought it was nine and I had things to do today. Not doing them now... Hell... I have typed this for half an hour... this... I got distracted I guess. Heh. Oh bloody hell... So annoying... at least I do not have a job I am neglecting due to ridiculous lack of awareness of time and reality.

I can live with all my symptoms except my exaggerated sense of smell for fragrances etc. That has me at its mercy.

There are lots of replies on here which I totally identify with, and which are really well expressed too. Interesting one about "time". I have that too. And the often not understanding what people are saying, needing things repeating, or not following what people say in a group unless it really is just one person speaking at a time.

My sensory issues are not such a problem now, both because of dietary changes ( much much calmer as a result of a gf diet ) and because have been living in a wonderfully peaceful place for the last three years, so I actually don't mind it, actually almost appreciate it, as if I had the hearing of the elves in "The Lord of the Rings"! But yes, I can hear noise at astonishing distances and be driven up wall by them. I avoid noisy, flashing/flickering, smelly, scratchy, etc environments, etc as much as possible.

Needing rituals/routines; I used to cover this over with alcohol a lot, but the less I drink ( almost none nowadays, and less and less the last 10 years ), the more I discover how much "being laid back/able to go with other people's behaviour" was a big part of my social success at uni and for a few years after, and how much it had to do with drink. I wish I didn't need so many things to be just so, or always need a "safe" space to retire to to reestablish/reconnect with "my way of doing things" in order to recharge.

A sort of face blindness which I didn't even used to know I had. I have always wanted to arrive first/early at social events, always preferred to get there when a place is still empty and watch it fill up, and recently realised that it is to do with how if I am confronted with more than a couple of faces I start not seeing them, they go fuzzy, and I won't remember what they look like. I recognise by context, and/or after some time spent one to one or in a small group, ( when able to concentrate on/simply "look" at faces ).

Being so preoccupied by "managing/handling" the appropriate social response that I find it very difficult, often impossible, to say what I want and need, or what I really think about something. I can only do one, or the other, unless I know the person really really well. That is a real problem, most especially in working environments.

So ... the one thing that I'd like to lose more than anything else ... right now it's the ritual/routine thing; it's very limiting/restrictive, ( it makes a lot of activities too expensive for example because I "have" to have/do things a certain way ). I only realise just how much they "restrain" me when find myself unable to avoid a disturbance of my routines and discover just how much I am disturbed by it.

PS. It's just occurred to me that perhaps one reason why I used to fear and loathe clutter, ( and conducted regular, at least twice yearly, and ruthless, clear outs/"weeds" of my possessions ), is that I knew I got attached to objects in a ritualistic way, and the best way to deal with it was reduce the number of objects so that at least I could carry most of them around with me, ( in satchel/little bag on daily basis, and a rucksack for moving ). ... I have collected a lot of objects the last 10 years ...

But I get what Dossa said about it being different almost every day, the thing that most bugs me.
.

Choose to lose it topic

CAPD and dyspraxia, my co-existing challenges.

lack of movation....
people don't see it in me or even believe it. I guess I'm very motivated about getting motivated, I just never do. So I seem motivated but I'm not.

Most definitely overload. I'm hoping that I'm creeping out of what feels like one of the worst states of overload in about two years, and OMG I would really do anything not to have to experience this anymore. At its worst, I thought I'd be willing to take chelatives (FYI I don't believe in the mercury theory) just so they might help...maybe it's a good thing they aren't easily accessible.

Auditory processing
Reading/using facial expressions and body language

Other than that, I'm fine. Thankfully, the only sensory issue I have is that I'm extremely ticklish, so I have to wear sweat pants under jeans.

Having sensory issues. Easily. I really wish that I didn't cry or want to destroy something out of frustration when a siren goes off near me, that bright light wasn't a problem and that a bunch of food textures didn't make me physically ill to even touch with my hands.