Are you/going to get sterilized?

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Sterilize??? Hell no! I have 5 kids, aged 23 to 8.
Ah, but sadly, only two of them are aspies like me. (The 23yo and the 11yo.)

And as far as worrying about being a "good" parent and relating appropriately to my kids... how I relate to my family is TOTALLY different than how I relate to the rest of the world. I think I'm a great mom. Other people have told me I'm a great mom. My AS kids know they are safe and accepted at home. We're all weird together. Even my NT kids tell me I'm a great mom (when they complain I ask them which of their friends they want to move in with - I win, no contest, every time).

Then there's good ol' NT dad... he's another story entirely.
All 5 kids (and two are already adults) like me better.

Sure, I'd have more kids, if my body would cooperate, which it hasn't for the last 8 years.
We need more people like me. And like you. Then this would be the RIGHT PLANET!

I am sorry that you think that way. When I married my husband, I knew nothing of Aspergers - the ink wasn't even dry on the first official printed version at the time.

My nickname for him used to be "Dusty" - short for Dustin Hoffman - because of my husband's seemingly savant-like knowledge of certain specific things - and yet total cluelessness about others.

Not long after we had a son. That child is now 11. They are both aspies.

I wouldn't trade either of them for all the tea in China. I don't consider either of them to be subpar in any way, shape or form. Different? Yes. But in my house *I'm* the one who's in the minority.

Had we known back then that my husband was in fact an Aspie, we still probably would have had a child. We tend to be "throw caution to the wind" kind of people. I didn't have the usual rounds of genetic testing during the pregnancy, because it wouldn't change our actions one bit. But I can't imagine the world without our son. I don't have visions of grandiosity - I don't believe that my kid is necessarily going to find the cure for cancer. But he has a lot to offer, to our family and to the world at large some day.

Eh. I don't want kids (*shudder* It was hell when my three-year-old sister was born due to sensory issues and a phobia of small children), but then I'm not interested in sex either. I don't really see the point, to be honest.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fragile_X_syndrome,
This talks about Fragile X, but it says that those who are ret*d are at risk of having this. It talks about those with lack of eye contact etc. But I don't think that AS is retardation. On the autistic spectrum maybe, but not retardation.
What do you lot think, would this be a good reason to be steralized?

If I had known about my husbands Aspergers when we got married I would still have had our two kids. they both have Aspergers but life wouldn't be half as enjoyable as it is without them all. They bring the differences in life that make life soo good.

Thank you for sharing. I realize when I made my comment you quoted I was alluding to genetic problems sometimes beyond the neurological as I myself have inherited asthma, skin and allergy problems, and a bone growth disorder. I don't happen to subscribe to the notion that the world is significantly better or worse off because of the presence of a condition like asperger's so don't read into things too much, but thanks for sharing your story anyhow. I'm glad you have found it a treasure to know the unique individuals your husband and son are.

No way. Right now I'm using my personality as contraception and anyway, I'd be a better father than my NT dad.

Last edited by neptunevsmars on 06 Mar 2006, 6:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

No chance. I'm gifted and would like to pass on that gift.

I hear ya there! I'm gifted and both my aspie kids are gifted. They'll be the ones changing the world someday. My NT kids are the ones with LD's and will most likely end up being the followers.

Is cuddling still a go? Well how about this, you work and i'll raise the kids?

I also had a tubal ligation after having my 2 sons and a miscarriage, I would have liked to have had at least one more child, a chance at a daughter but financial means wouldn't have allowed it and SO didn't want anymore kids. And he refused to get the vasectomy, I can't take hormonal-based birth control as it messes badly with my depression and my body I got the tubal ligation done during my c-section with my youngest son. It's a decision I still regret to this day, now almost 3 yrs later.

Just like AS and Autism, Fragile X can be a spectrum in itself, some are more mildly affected or not. It's not a fatal disease or such and some of the kids do really well with help. Retardation in Fragile X varies easily and just because a person has a high risk of having a Fragile X child doesn't mean the child will have it. I don't honestly think anything is really worth avoiding... about 989-90% of down syndromes individuals that are conceived are aborted... we keep up with avoiding special individuals like those with Down Syndrome, Fragile X and all because they are different even different than us, we will lose a lot of exceptional, unique individuals that can contribute in their own way.

I wouldn't consider it alone being a good enough reason for a tubal ligation/vasectomy... if you're going to do that, do it because you don't plan to have any more kids. That's just the way I view it. A lot of individuals with Fragile X present with autistic behaviors.

Last edited by MishLuvsHer2Boys on 07 Mar 2006, 8:35 am, edited 2 times in total.

Yes your wife got lucky to have you, why couldn't Ron have been so considerate and gotten the snip, since I had the tubal ligation done, I have worse PMS, more problems with my periods and all... and wouldn't be surprised somehow that it wasn't part of the cause of my hypothyroidism. And it ruined my first day with my youngest son because I got told that the anaesthesia from the spinal block wouldn't likely cover as high as where the fallopian tubes were so I felt the whole darn procedure and was in severe pain the rest of the day and into the next day making it hard to hold my newborn baby boy and breastfeed him. Unfortunately it also created a resentment in me against my SO especially when he has the nerve to 'tease' me about having more kids when he knows my tubes are tied.

Hell no , i won't choose sterilization not even after having enough children.

ps : i prefer to have NT "normal" children than having autistic children.....afterall i don't wish the smae suffer for my future children.

I am a member of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, so no kids for me. I do intend to get "fixed" In NC you have to be 35 to get it done. I also intend to adopt some kids at some point. Max of 2, preferably abused and hard to adopt kids like I was. (I'm adopted myself.)
Guess that answers the question.

Thread hi-jacking tangent: What's Lebanon like?