Is there anyone else out there...

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That doesn't overanalyze every possible thing?
Or not think every non-autistic is the enemy?
Who doesn't write complete essays on the act of socialization?

I try not to analyze a lot, but can't really shut it off. I suppose it just depends on how important it is to me at the moment as to whether or not I'll analyze everything-I do get into moods.

I definitely don't think that every non-autistic is the enemy. I have met a lot of great non-autists throughout my life, no matter how short-lived the relationships were, and enjoyed them very much. I've met the opposite too, but it doesn't really tend to skew my perception unless I run into a whole bunch of meanies at the same time... but I figure my luck wouldn't be much better if I ran into a bunch of auties/aspies that I don't share interests with either, lol.

Ah, misread that first question-about the act of socialization, it mostly remains a mystery to me usually, so I can't get that interested in it, lol. When I first read it though, for some reason I missed the last part of the question and saw "who doesn't write complete essays?" and was fixing to write an apology

Message to KoS:
While you may be allowed to read and post in this thread, you might want to think a little more carefully before you post.

Your blanket statements with all caps about aspies demanding this and that, and the sense of entitlement, are not only wrong, but also inflammatory. Your opinions, as an NT, are not welcome here. There are other places for you to vent, but this is not one of them.

The only reason I can imagine you haven't been flamed yet is that not enough people have seen your posts.

And if I see any more, I will PM a moderator.

Actually I thought he was spot on. You may not be like that but I certainly have been, and thanks to KoS post I'm watching how I act around NT's.
And he did not mean to be nasty.
So people with AS can say horrible assumptions about NT's but when an NT gets a bit critical you threaten to report them?
Give the guy a break. He's not deliberately trying to be a troll.

Hey? I'm just relating back my own experienced with people with Aspergers, which has been extensive. If you see that as an offensive generalisation, my apologies, but that wasn't my intention. I am allowed to have a conversation though, and that's what this was. I conversation that progressed into a sharing of experiences. How would have had me censor myself? I would very much like to know. I don't think I was unkind towards people with AS, I don't think what I said was untrue either. So what's the problem?

I have spent most of my life trying to understand people with Autism as it has surrounded me since the day I was born. Yes I am NT, but I'd bet money that I know just as much, or more about Autism (not just AS) than you. I'd bet that I have met and spent time with more people with AS/Autism than most people. If I have an opinion, it is not based on a load of rubbish, it is based on a life-time of observations and trying to figure out how my family works. In a family of 3 Autistics and one NT (me), I am the outsider trying hard hard to figure out how to best connect to the ones I love and make them happy, a position many people with AS might be able to relate to.

Maybe I haven't been flamed because some people can understand that.

I stick by my observsations and the way I relayed them here. There is alot of NT abuse going on around this place from what I've seen, and that's ok, it's you guys forum really. But to accuse an NT like myself, who has done nothing but spend my entire life helping, loving and doing my best to understand people with Autism (not just my own family) of being derogatory towards Aspies/Autistics only illustrates that the problem is you and not me.

I don't think NTs are evil or "the enemy". I know there's no "secret science" to interacting with other people, so I don't think too hard about it. I just try really hard to pick up social skills from interacting with my closest family members, and keep friendships at their most basic, platonic level. I will only tell others that I'm autistic on a strictly need-to-know basis, because I want to pass as NT for as long as possible.

I think I've changed my tune about telling people I'm autistic. I still want those close to me to know, but I don't think I'll tell a stranger that I share an elevator with that I am. Or people that I used to be close to that I see on rare occasions.
I'm glad that my employer knows and that I only have to work with two other people, so I really don't have to put effort in to be social.

I've also met way more than the usual amount of autistic people but only met a handful like that. I think more get tarred with that brush (in any minority group) usually because of misunderstanding of the power realities (and the same thing is in general an offensive disability stereotype). But my experience has also been that if someone is going to believe that then nothing I can say will change their minds, plus it's sort of off-topic for the thread. I also think there are more widesprwad problems to worry about, such as aspie supremacism ("AS and/or HFA people are okay but autistic people without those labels can go to hell for all we care"), and even that isn't so common that I would generalize about all "aspies" that way. The only reason I am posting now is because of the notion that people are only quiet because we agree with that idea. I don't agree with that idea, I just wasn't in the mood for a futile argument today. I have gotten into it on this forum before with people who have offensively stereotyped people with psych labels and all it got me was told that I wasn't in fact arguing from experience but rather because I would say anything at all including lie about my experiences if I wanted to be politically correct. Which is nonsense. While the moderators looked on and did nothing as I had a whole lot of offensive crap thrown my direction (such as that I could write in a different style if I just wanted to enough and that my support staff are servants and that I lead some kind of luxurious life, and that I shouldn't ask for help translating my words into a shorter easier to read format because even though I tore my own hair out for hours trying I just didn't care enough to do it right). Oh and also I don't generally flame people, so even if I bring things up I try to stay away from personal attacks.

I don't overanalyze every possible thing. Just some things. And not the same things as my husband.

I think the 2nd question doesn't apply to me, being as I'm a person with about an equal amount of aspie and NT traits. But my only enemies would be those individuals who continually treat me badly.

And I don't have enough intellectual knowledge of socialization to say anything very lengthy about it.

No, aspies aren't. Which makes it even worse. We do experience those same sort of prejudices and mistreatments that minority groups often do. But we've no group to retreat back to. So we tend to live our lives alone.

Gay people, at least some of the, get together and create social groups. It's not something like ethnic or religious minorities where the groups naturally exists. Why? Probably to have that safe place with others of their kind. And I guess one of the purposes of this forum is to be one of those safe places.

Anyway, that aspies don't usually group together doesn't change what Callista says. Whether they/we group together or exist out there as a bunch of disconnected individuals, it still applies. Call it as subset instead of a subgroup.

As far as I'm concerned, the only 'enemies' I have in this world are the exact same ones as NT's have (eg those polluting our planet, those who exploit others) I don't see NT's as the enemy, generally I find them a mixture of intriguing, confusing and scary, depending on what mood I am in.....all groups of people are diverse, unfortunately that diversity includes people who are total [], IN EVERY GROUP/FACET OF THE HUMAN RACE!

I haven't read what you've said in this thread but I've noticed this attitude about you before and I do think it makes your presence here problematic. But I hope you get something out of it.

I think I am one of the annoying people but I'm here to express things I can't elsewhere and otherwise, if it makes you feel better, I have allowed for the possibility that vaccines can cause autism and hold the middle ground on that position, I adore Jenny McCarthy (because of who she is and always has been and irrespective of her positions and experience with autism), and I'm sure if I thought hard enough I could come up with other things that make me feel odd in this place. I think it's mostly futile to post monologues about my difficulties with life into an anonymous medium to absolute strangers, but I do it anyway because it helps me feel not so alien in some small way. I just don't post on certain topics and if I do post I hit and run and don't go back to the thread.

I agree with you, to a point.

But really you have to analyse why a lot of people are on this site...
I can't speak for everyone, but I'm definitely a recluse. I have my boyfriend who I see once a month but that's it. When it comes to over-analysing etc, I don't have much of a choice right now...all I can do is look at the world from my little autistic bubble. I either write about it on WrongPlanet...or ignore it and kill people on games.
I think a lot of people who browse forums are like this.
A lot of us can't let go and enjoy ourselves.
Why do you think we're on a forum in the first place?

I agree with you though, don't get me wrong. It's just hard to let go and be happy when you're an autistic recluse, and I think a lot of people here are the same as me.

Speak for yourself please. You speaking on behalf of the forum is no more welcome than him generalising all aspies. You speak for yourself and you alone not wanting him here doesn't carry that much weight really.

His final paragraph is correct. Maybe "DEMAND" is a bit strong but i think he's saying that's how it is seen by NT's, rather than what we are actually um.. demanding, in which case i agree with him. The people i've told about my AS are very acomodating when it's a specific thing i ask for or an issue, but in every day life they completely forget and go back to treating me like everyone else, it's natural, they've been doing it all their life.

Didn't Jenny Mc Carthy recently say that Evan may not have had autism and the vaccine may not have caused his problems? Look in the Autism in the Media thread.

Anywho, I find the whole analyzing NT behavior thing annoying because I think it's a bunch of assumptions. But I now know to keep my thoughts to myself.
And I didn't mean 'let it go' to be rude, but overcome your problems.
There was a boy, Howard Dully, who at 12 was given a lobotomy. His step mother was horrible to him but none of the other boys in his family. When the lobotomy didn't turn him into a vegetable she had him committed. He was then sent back and forth to mental institutions, foster homes and was never allowed back home. He eventually spend a bit of time in prison.
The thing is he is at peace with himself.
I actually think he would have been on the spectrum or had ADHD, but because of his stepmother's lies he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
So yeah, I didn't mean to be rude about the whole 'get over it' thing. I just mean we all have had horrible things happen to us but dwelling on them is not healthy. But if you want to analyze things and break apart NT socializing skills frame by frame then go ahead. I will keep my mouth shut.

Given that the original posts in question have been edited, I can not speak to what was said previously. However, it is important for both KoS and MsT (among others) to understand that WP is a support site; that does not make it the sole domain of those on the spectrum, nor an acceptable place to demean or insult those who are affected with an ASD. Any threats and/or attacks are not appreciated, and will not be tolerated here. If you need to discuss things privately, take it to a PM... or agree to disagree. The choice is up to each, the results your own.


M.