Why are so many aspies mild?

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I no longer accept the 'Spectrum' model as scientifically valid. There is no such thing as an Autism Spectrum - that's an imaginary conceptual rainbow that can never be physically touched. There may be different types of Autism, in that different sets of genes may be involved in causing the physical impairment in the brain that sets off the Autistic behaviors and reactions - in that case different types may be treated by different methods, and ultimately recognized as separate disorders, which is why I strongly oppose discarding the Asperger label until Autism in general is better understood.

I say a lot of aspies are mild because chances are you wouldn't happen to meet any aspies that are severe. They wouldn't show up at aspie meet ups since there would be no point if they can't even talk, and some severe aspies won't have the ability to know how to operate a computer so you wouldn't meet them online. By the way, did you mean autism? I think aspies is a type of High-functioning Autism.

Everyone looks 'mild' when they present themselves as lines and columns of text on a page or monitor.

However, looking at the 'show a video/picture of yourself' thread is altogether different. Most people there look distinctly ODD.

As for me; I am attractive by outward appearances, so much so that young women often look me in the face and lick their lips; but as soon as I begin to utter a word I immediately betray how odd and awkward I am, and yet again I am left to go home, frustrated, to my favourite porn websites, all alone, forever unemployed and single.

I'm not aware of An Aspie that can't talk, IMO that would be a different form (or level, for Spectrumites) of Autism. However, this remark illustrates my point - external appearances are no indicator of the 'severity' of the Autistic impairment going on on the inside. I can talk just fine, thank you very much, but I would never show up at a meet'n'greet, for precisely the same reasons any other Autistic might opt to pass on a social gala. Without a very good reason for my being there, I would never choose to put myself through that anxiety.

Yes, in general they would not diagnose Asperger's in someone who can talk. For that matter, if you were diagnosed Asperger's and lost speech, you'd be reclassified PDD-NOS for it. But it's possible to qualify for a diagnosis of Asperger's and still need a great deal of support. Generally, because AS is defined as not involving a delay in adaptive skills, that means things like extreme sensory issues, meltdowns, and self-injury.

(Which also means that if you're diagnosed AS and have a delay in adaptive skills, guess what? Yep, PDD-NOS, technically. Or regular autism, if you also had odd speech or can't keep up your end of a conversation. Asperger's, if you us the current definition, is actually a very small group because most of its members should be in some other group because of the adaptive-skills exclusion criterion and because you don't need to have a speech delay to fall into the vanilla autism category--just odd speech or lack of reciprocity.)

There is definitely much more to the spectrum than levels of impairment, not least because there are so many different criteria by which you might judge that level. In general, if you use the amount of help someone has to have to get through the day as a rule of thumb, then you will find a great many more people who need very little help than you will find people who need a lot. That is not just true of autism; there are a great many more people with mild disabilities than there are with obvious, severe ones (again, using the "how much help you need" criterion). Naturally, people will be moving up and down in severity as their circumstances change; but that evens out if you look at autistics as a group.

Think of all those autistic traits that are floating around in the general population, and combine to make autistic people. There's a lot of probability to it. So, say you flip a coin twenty times; each coin flip represents some bit of DNA, and each set of twenty coin flips represents a single human being. (I know people don't mix their DNA utterly at random, but on the large scale it's similar;and yes, I know, normal curve not binomial distribution... but bear with me anyhow.) To get an autistic person, you have to get at least fifteen Heads out of twenty flips. The probability of getting fifteen or more out of twenty is, let's say, about 1%. So let's look at that 1%. Which is more likely: Getting fifteen heads out of twenty coin flips, or getting twenty out of twenty? Right; the probability of getting one with fifteen out of twenty heads is approximately a zillion times higher than getting one with twenty out of twenty heads. So it is with autistic genetics: Among the group of autistic people, there are more with the fifteen coin flips (a few mild traits) than twenty (having every possible trait at full-strength).

I meant AS alone.

Same reasoning applies to both. Autism is just the larger group of which AS is a subgroup.

That's the same for me. When I was younger my AS was much more noticable & it wasn't until I was diagnosed that I was able to learn about my difficulties and try to overcome some of them. I'm sure that there are other people who struggle more than me and some who have 'adapted' to this world better than me, but I don't think that most of the people here have 'mild AS'. I didn't even think there was such a thing.

Ironically, my problems became worst as I hit puberty; adjusting to the chaos of people behaving in an unpredictable way and trying to meet the expectations of adulthood made me fall on the wayside. I kinda stopped before this time in ability.

I aced primary school and had friends (even if I lacked all of that give and take of socializing and had the intense interest). I wouldn't have been able to be diagnosed at this time.

Then in that case, I don't think people with AS can be that severe then. Isn't that what aspergers is about? Being on the mild side of the autistic spectrum?

Well, it's a severe disorder compared to not having one.

Compared to LFA, it can be seen as "milder", but that's not saying all that much. You just have to look at the outcome studies of people with AS and HFA.

I find it amazing that around 60% of those with HFA are in institutions or group homes (here in Oz). I don't know whether it's the parents, or the behaviour of the individuals with HFA themselves (I have no understanding of this, as I'm easy to get along with in person and passive); perhaps it's a bit of both.

no no no no no...

Just becuase i have a brain and can speak does not mean i have mild autism. Just becuase i don't have some specific highly disabling traits a LFA would have doesn't make my autism mild, my life easy or my problems less significant.

Does it stop being mild when i comit suicide due to a life of unbearable frustration while the LFA is happy in his own world flapping his hands while everyone else tells him what a horrible life he's living becuase he makes them feel bad by their own rules and standards?

It's the society.

If a society has more of a habit of making institutions (whether large and traditional or small and group home like) the place that certain kinds of people get certain kinds of support, then more people end up there.

If the society gives that support outside of institutions fewer people end up there.

I live in a state that gives most of it's support outside of institutions, at least for developmental disability anyway (we still have way too many nursing homes). That means most developmentally disabled people here live outside of group homes and larger institutions. Usually in our apartments with or without live-in staff, or with families.

Is it because developmental disabilities are less severe here? No, it's because we have that support available in other forms, although obviously we have some biases because there are still a few group homes. But far less than the last state I lived in, which had group homes everywhere and a few large institutions left open. And even in that state, a woman who had seen DD people in and out of institutions said "the population of people inside and outside our institutions are identical".

So generally where people end up has more to do with where the society they live in thinks they should end up than any other factor.

I'm with you there Jingo. I think AS gets more severe when who have things such as depression, anxiety and other such conditions. Living with undiagnosed ADHD-I makes my life a lot harder.
Stress can make my AS symptoms worse. My sensitivities get worse, my anxiety gets worse and my self help skills appear worse. If I'm stressed, anxious and depressed I'm not likely to make myself a 3 course meal, clean my house and or be bubbly and social with my friends. I would probably feel bitter towards them for not having to deal with the stuff that I have to deal with.

That's interesting.

So, I'm betting it's at the behest of the professionals and disability services that push people into facilities, and the parents probably think it's for the best as...doctor knows best (I'm of the same conclusion that group homes are just small scale institutions)?

I think if there's some place that an individual can stay, even if the parents can't handle it, there might be a sibling or relative that'd take the person in, it'd provide a much healthier lifestyle, and this should be pushed if possible.

Well, I know I do well under my mother's* house, and I have far more opportunities to experience things by myself, things that people in institutions can't. I remember the good old visitor and beach days at the short and long term place I was at (a day to go to the beach? Seriously...), the lack of privacy, being treated like a...child, and "therapy" that was just talking in silly hippie circles about feelings and emotions. The order and routine was ok, but the same thing can be made anywhere.

*People think that, O, he lives with mummy, he's controlled! Uh, no, it keeps me off the streets and out of those aforementioned terrible places.

I like these two succinct points which I think capture the essence of the illusion of normality that many perceive in those with AS

I would add that just because I'm not having a meltdown, ticcing my head or stimming doesn't mean that I am not experiencing anxiety (and very possibly severe anxiety).

I've just finished reading 'Alone Together; Making an Asperger marriage work' by Katrin Bentley, a strong and wonderful NT woman married to a HIGHLY intelligent Aspie and just realised that as well as my pervasive isolation (that I have always been aware of) my other lifelong friend has been anxiety.

I have developed some very idiosyncratic coping methods so that people only see (or read here on WP) an 'articulated (semantic pragmatic/formal language) educated thinker', a good specialist that fits 'well' into the NT world............not.

I can and do 'scream silently on the inside' and when I do it is anything BUT mild.