My son refuses to accept he has AS - need your advice

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Callista, I think the most difficult thing for my daughter to get used to this year is that the teachers no longer let her leave the room to avoid a meltdown. They did in sixth grade and in fact it was encouraged. I asked her after one incident early in the year why she didn't leave the room and she said that wasn't an option this year. Seems like each year the expectation goes up...which is good...but even for me as an adult, it's a good thing to be able to take a break rather than falling apart.

Wow. I really think you should talk to the school about that one. I get that accommodation, and I'm in freaking college. Granted, I had to ask specifically for a place to go when I really, really needed to be alone; but they agreed it was a good idea. There's nothing immature about going somewhere else when you know you can't deal with things anymore. It's actually one of the things they teach people in anger management classes, a last-resort option when you can't hold your temper if you stay. Meltdowns aren't really a matter of anger; but the principle is similar--if you know you'll lose control, you'd better do it somewhere where it won't hurt anybody, embarrass anybody, or disrupt other people's studying.

Wow! People's ignorance never ceases to amaze me! And, that's not directed at anyone in this thread. It's to the people that cause unnecessary bad situations and feelings towards the people IN this thread (lol). To read some of the stories that you all are sharing blows my mind. It's just a simple matter of a little education and understanding. Which is resisted by the ego and arrogance that others think they "know" what is right and/or best. Pffft.

Jojobean:

Wow. I think you hit the nail on the head. I like the way you think.

Everyone else:

Wonderful suggestions to help writergirl out. I'm glad that I decided to be a part of this community. It's quite cool. Haven't had any response from her but we can only hope that she is reading all this.

I have to remember my parents clothes when ever I go out so I can keep track of them. The other day my brother stoped to pick me up and I thought he was a kidnapper. He thought it was so funny. All people have always looked alike to me.

Upoochapu,
Thank you...I was the ultimate child from hell untill about 17-18 years old. My mother hired a psychcolgist who specialized in autism, brain injury and emotional overlay. She told my mom that I was being punished too severely and very incosistantly. Like I would get 2 months of phone restriction for sneaking out with my boyfriend...and once I was in trouble I stayed in trouble...by the time 3 days into my grounding...I felt that I was trapped and 2 months was forever, so I just acted out because I was grounded for eternity anyway.

Once she made my parents see that and also made the school comply with the same type of disipline...my behavior changed dramaticly.

Also there needs to be a focus on rewards. He needs to be rewarded or at least acknoleged for the good he does.
You will be amazed how that changes the attitude of a pessimistic kid. Reward him for good no matter how small.
Even a pat on the back...good job...will work wonders. When kids become labeled as a problem child in school, teachers will be very negitive towards him...and that only compounds the problem....it all goes back to that, "if I am going to be in trouble all the time, I might as well do something worth the punishment" type of thinking.

also I wanted to add, I talked to my mom and she says that under section 504, it is illegal for the school to suspend him for behavior related to his "disability". One may argue whether or not his behavior is due to a complication of autism, but that should put a stop to him being suspended.

Ohh and to those other mothers...You need to put in their IEP plan that your kids can leave the room before meltdown occurs. If the school refuses, I recomend then finding a specail ed attorney because that is a violation of the ADA, section 504, and the IDEA. There are punishments for that...but I recomend getting an attorney because they run schools like the mafia....no kidding either.

Jojo