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League_Girl
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15 Mar 2010, 3:52 am

Danielismyname wrote:
Punching judgmental morons solves pretty much everything.

When people realize there's a consequence to emotional pain they cause (saying you're a ret*d because you flap your hands is emotional pain), society starts to be a nicer place to be in in regards to abuse.

It took me a while to figure this out (slow on uptake and too nice for own good...), but it works better than everything.



I get charged with assault and then get a criminal record. No thanks.



DavidM
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15 Mar 2010, 6:21 am

Sometimes attractive, trendy young women flap their hands and gasp in amazement when they are really excited. I am surprised no one else has made mention of this. Flapping per se isn't 'tarded unless it is done in an inappropriate or idiosyncratic manner. 8)



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15 Mar 2010, 6:28 am

david m:

I've seen this too, it's these excitable young women who say stuff like "OMG, did you see the cute guy?!" Or "Guess what?! He called me, he called me!" And then they kind of jump up and down and yell with shrill voices and giggle and YES, flap their hands.

I guess it looks odd when you do it outside of the appropriate interaction. I always move my hands, somehow. I flap them briefly if something bothers me or disgusts me, but I haven't had any comments, I guess it's because I don't do it for more than a couple of seconds.



DavidM
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15 Mar 2010, 6:33 am

LipstickKiller wrote:
david m:

I've seen this too, it's these excitable young women who say stuff like "OMG, did you see the cute guy?!" Or "Guess what?! He called me, he called me!" And then they kind of jump up and down and yell with shrill voices and giggle and YES, flap their hands.



Yes, exactly! :D

A little bit of flapping now and then is okay.



CockneyRebel
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15 Mar 2010, 7:17 am

I don't think it makes a person look ret*d. It makes me feel sad that people think that way. Why don't heavy drinkers worry about how ret*d they look, when the get drunk, together. I shake/flap my hands ten times in a row, a couple of times, when I'm typing out a long article for a paper, in front of everybody in the communications room, of my clubhouse. Nobody complains about it, because they know I'm on the spectrum. A bigger guy, three years younger than myself, said that he likes how I have the hand shakes going on.


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Hector
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15 Mar 2010, 8:56 am

Danielismyname wrote:
Punching judgmental morons solves pretty much everything.

When people realize there's a consequence to emotional pain they cause (saying you're a ret*d because you flap your hands is emotional pain), society starts to be a nicer place to be in in regards to abuse.

It took me a while to figure this out (slow on uptake and too nice for own good...), but it works better than everything.

When people think you're weird because you flap your hands or whatever else, and you retaliate by force, all that changes is that they'll think that in addition you are also temperamental and perhaps dangerous. It also typically alienates you from people who may be in some way sympathetic.



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15 Mar 2010, 10:05 am

Callista wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
Who cares if it does? Looking, or even being ret*d doesn't make a person any less of a person.

Really, if I wanna flap my hands I'm gonna do it. It helps me think sometimes and I've already decided not to try to look normal. Not looking "ret*d" isn't even on my list of priorities.


I used to try to behave as normally as I could, from standing there doing absolutely nothing to copying actions that other people who were seen as 'normal' did, but it makes no difference. No matter what I do or don't do, something is still wrong and people stare at me. I don't bother now. If I feel a wish/need to do something (pacing is my big stim) I do it.

pumibel wrote:
You know, when I was a kid I did a lot of pacing and spinning and my mom would often make me stop in public and told me that people would think I was "ret*d" but it wasn't to be cruel.


I clearly remember just playing a game on my own in the garden, and my mother telling me to stop it or come inside because people were going to think I was crazy. I was six years old at the time. Children are children, AS or non-AS. Unless they are doing something utterly bizarre, is anyone really going to think that a person of that age is anything other than what they are - a child playing?



PunkyKat
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15 Mar 2010, 10:42 am

No. It just looks as if the person is overstimulated or very excited.



zeldapsychology
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15 Mar 2010, 11:29 am

My hand flapping isn't weird IMO it's more as if you slammed your hand in a door and shake it as if it's hurt (that's how I'd describe my new stim of hand flapping) :-)