Has anyone here ever benefitted from seeing a counsellor?

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I think a good counsellor can be great for an individual with an ASD. I think there is a lot to learn about managing one;s own trait presentation from a specific and individualised standpoint, and about how to manage the sensory, self-esteem issues, issues relating to self-acceptance and not fitting in with the mainstream and archetypal societal norms and ideals about "success."

The other issue is that if someone is not self-motivated about their own counselling or therapy programme, then it is very difficult as compliance can frequently only result in minor change.

I also think it also comes down to personality compatibility between client and counsellor.
And I also think many clinicians working in the area of ASD's do not have a clue, and their idea of 'successful therapy' is making us as non-ASD and socially compliant and compatible as possible.
That is NOT what it should really be about. That may be what they want, but it has never been what I have wanted. I have simply wanted peace, self-acceptance and a sense of being ok to live how I need to live.


The problem is that many of the clinicians around who specialise in ASD's don't really specialise with the individual. They more or less follow a generic "template" that is rather superficial. They think the sensory = ear plugs, or coping at school means you are now sitting with a group so problems are solved! The aim of good therapy is not to change us. It is to help us find joy and happiness in who and what we are. And outcomes for each individual will be different because each of us will have different aims or goals. It is about learning how to tweak one's life so that it is truly compatible with one's traits whenever and wherever possible. I have benefited enormously because I have been motivated to work at some areas I really wanted to work on -mainly to do with streamlining things to suit me and my traits. But this type of process is long, detailed and requires the commitment of both the client and the counsellor. It's a long haul venture.

And of course...lots of prayers and good wishes to you and your son, Anastasia.

He sounds like a hikikomori.

The very fact is it may be hard to pull him out. It is also one of those things where one cannot force you to go to a therapist, one really does need to go on thier own. I will say therapy did not start helping for me until I saw a therapist on my own, and that was in my late twenties. But therapy does not work if one does not want to go.

From somebody who went through extreme bullying in middle school (and lets be honest, bullying is harassment and assualt, plain and simple) it is not easy to get through. It honestly took a year of people leaving me alone in HS for me to fall into being socially okay, not therapy. I was going to school during this period though. I will say I was one of those kids who really did not have friends between the ages of 6-13.

This is not going to be easy. This may take YEARS for him to get through, you need patience.

I've seen two therapists/counselors, and found them both helpful. I have perhaps been lucky.

I've seen two counsellors but don't think they really helped me much. However today I started seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist. She came prepared, even brought a copy of the DSM-IV. I hope it works out but so far so good.

You've been lucky. I've been to four counsellors, only one came close to helping me and he didn't realise he really was helping me (because he didn't think he was helping me he stopped our sessions). I'm a bit leery of counsellors as a result of this.

Adlerian counsellors are good though, they make a 'contract'. Meaning you go to them, you tell them one problem you want to learn how to deal with better and then you discuss a timeframe in which you and the counsellor think is reasonable to deal with the issue. If you find that through dealing with this issue that other issues come up, you make a new 'contract'.

This means that you don't keep going for years, you go for six to twelve sessons and then see how you are. I know about this because I'm studing Adlerian psycology at the moment. Part of the studying is working with others in the group on their issues and they help you work out yours. I suppose you could call this a fifth counsellor.

Yes, I've seen a counselor, in fact it was that very person whom lead me to come to WP.Anyways, most of my troubles tend to be very deep-rooted and more than likely it will be a constant struggle to find serenity in my own life without some chaos here and then.

I usually answer either 0 or 10.
It is nearly impossible for me to see nuances in most things, so you can forget emotions.
I just recognize three emotions; happy, sad, angry.
I can hear nuances in rhythm and sound, but vague things like emotions, no.
Anything, really is black and white to me.

To be on topic, I am regularly visiting a psychiatrist who is to figure out why I am not speaking.
I do not remember why I stopped, but some people seem very eager to have me speak.
I speak in my dreams, though.
So that may mean some interesting things.

Well after all this time over 2 years last night my son told me he witnessed a sexual assault happen to a boy at this feral school by another student. If you think thats bad enough it also happened right out in the open in full view of lots of people. I truly feel sick to the stomach over this. What has to world come to.

Do such things ACTUALLY exist?

It is RIDICULOUS how there are NO resources with adults with Asperger's in my area, and it's not like I live in some little village.

They sure do exist. There are a fair few ASD groups in my region. I went to a women and girls on the spectrum self-help group a few weeks ago. There will be an ASD self-help group starting up at my home in June and there are a few people coming. I also know that information has been vital to me, and that my understanding of social skills and emotions has been gained by intellectual understanding that has then been translated into ways of behaving.

These are some groups for adult aspies in the US:
http://www.grasp.org/res_sg.htm
I don't know where you live, or in what country, so I don't know if any of these are anywhere near you. They also offer some resources for starting a new group if there isn't one in your area. (Easier said than done, I know.)

Edited to add: Those are peer groups. This is a social skills group with a trained professional:
http://www.med.upenn.edu/add/sldp.htm

If a person saw someone is in a wheelchair and who is struggling to open the door, would s/he ask:
"I see that you're in a wheelchair. How does it make you feel?"

No. It would be incredibly bad form. It would be incredibly patronising and unhelpful.

More likely, the person would offer to open the door for the other person in the wheelchair. The other person would listen to the person in the wheelchair and help them in a practical way. This form of practical support would benefit both parties.

Asking someone how something makes them feel does not "open doors".

If someone had fallen down the stairs, would you ask them:
"I see that you've fallen down the stairs. How does it make you feel?"

No. This would be incredibly insensitive and unhelpful. If the person was bleeding, you'd apply pressure to the wound. You'd get the person into the recovery position. You'd try and make sure that the person was out of danger's way, that s/he was not going to be trodden on by other people. You'd stay with the casuality and then get someone to contact the emergency services/doctor.

Why should the treatment of invisible disabilities, pyschological injuries and trauma be any different to this approach? Why not try and help people by giving the practical support that they need? If someone falls down the stairs, sometimes a small community needs to be involved to help the person's recovery.

I have been called tactless in the past, but I can see why saying to a person in a wheelchair:
"Oh dear did you have an accident? How does it make you feel to be disabled?"

Isn't really the best thing to say. Yet I hear some people talk down to the disabled people with severe long term conditions that I know. Some people mean well, but their attitudes often come across as though they're talking down to the disabled person.

The best counsellors that I ever had were my Physics and Chemistry teachers.
They took the time to listen to difficulties that I was having with Science problems and they gave practical, constructive advice and support. I'd feel satisfied at the end of the
lesson that I had the practical coping tools and the information that I needed. I would often be very happy that I could solve new problems and I'd thank my teachers for their support.

I liked using the language of physical objects to understand the world and solve problems. The objects were like "touchstones" and helped me to make sense of who I was and the world around me.

I wish that Pyschological counselling could be more like this.

The occupational therapists that have helped my friends in wheelchairs have been brilliant.

I only see a therapist now because I have to. I originally went to one to get a diagnosis, and he mentioned SSI to my mom. She jumped in that idea and so I kept seeing the guy. He wanted me to talk about stuff, but I really have nothing to talk about on any emotional level. Nothing terrible has happened in my life that I need to spill my guts. I even told him that I didn't want or need therapy, but I had to go anyway, because my mom was insistent that I get SSI. Well, I have it now, and still have to see him. Bleh. At least I don't have to pay for it anymore.

I saw a few psychiatrists/psychologists as an adolescent, and found none of them helpful in the slightest.

I tried again a couple of years ago and saw a psychiatrist who essentially said that she didn't know what to do with me, and referred me to someone else, who I saw for about a year. The man she referred me to did not seem helpful at the time, but in retrospect, he was. That poor man, I must have been among the most difficult patients he's ever had ("reticent" doesn't begin to describe it). I felt guilty about it at the time, but didn't know how to correct it. I wish I could tell him now that he made an impact--I expect he thinks he didn't.

I can elaborate on how he was helpful if someone really wants, but I see this thread is old, and I'm not currently feeling disposed to ramble on ego-centrically (more than I already have).

I never did. Was a waste of time.

Seen two counsellors, neither were any help.

First one was when I was 13/14 and had just been diagnosed with AS. All he ever said was "don't be so negative"

Second one was a uni counsellor when I was 22 and she was absolutely horrible to me. Had no understanding of AS or my issues and her basic attitude was "we all have problems and some people are much worse off than you" and she made me out to be lazy and that I couldn't be bothered to do anything. I was so upset I couldn't go back.

Hope you have a better experience, sure it works for some people if you get the right counsellor.