Did you use to think you'd grow out of AS one day?

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i used to think that i am hopeless in socialising because i hadn't yet met the "right" people who are on the same wavelength and in tune with how i think and feel. however, i've now come to realise that it's actually me and it's something that i will never overcome.

I never saw much of a point in trying to conform and being something you're not. I just wanted the other kids to leave me alone. When I was diagnosed back in 2007, it was a shock, but after doing research, it made my life finally make sense. I even remember saying to myself, "It all makes sense now.", and I wouldn't change that part of me for the world.

The worst years of my life were from age 17-24 when i was basically "forced" into going out and socialising as thats what girls my age were meant to do. I hated it with a passion, esp nightclubbing,,It was hell on earth for me and I couldnt understand how anyone could actually enjoy doing these things. At one stage i thought well maybe if I just keep doing it over and over I'll get use to it and it won't be so bad, well that never happened. It just got worse.

Honestly it took me years and years to figure out who i was as to survive I had to take on the persona of a different person just to fit in. All I wanted was to not be weird and to be normal and just like everybody else but in the end it almost destroyed me trying to do that.