How do you cover for not recognizing people?

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Thankfully I don't tend to run into people I knew a long time ago and need to recognize. If I do, I usually just pretend I didn't see them once they approach me to say hi... I've carried on whole conversations with people who apparently remembered me from "way back when" and I not only have no idea who they are, but I have no idea where I know them from...

With people I'm close to I tend to be able to recognize them based on multiple cues.
Instead of using faces, I recognize people I know based on what they're wearing, how they walk, and their hair style. (On that note, I hate when people get hair cuts, because I can't tell if I know them anymore unless they're wearing clothes I recognize...)

Causes and diagnosis of medical symptom I do not recognize people with references to diagnosis, testing, and other symptoms.

This problem has always been a nightmare.

I'm no longer working in an office but when I was it was the worst. I never knew who people were, in meetings I was always assumed to know this one or that one that I'd met or worked with before and I would be blank. I always tried to smile and stay quiet until someone else gave a hint about who that person is or said their name outloud or something.

It's so stressful.

Faking as tho you remember who they are, trying to not talk too loud or too soft, being aware of your facial expression, getting the jokes, getting through the boring chit chat about the weekend, and then there's eye contact and appropriate hand shaking.

It makes me tired just thinking about it.

I'm so happy I don't work in that kind of environment now. I'm poorer but much less stressed!

At work today Iwas asked about arranging something for a new member of staff. I was trying to chase up what had happened to the request, which hadn't arrived yet from our IT department, and a lady brought round some paperwork to do with it. We discussed the issue a little.

I then, based on the emails I'd received, asked her if Lynne had put in the request.
"I'm Lynne," she told me.

My face recognition is appallingly bad.

One day i sat on a bus with a guy who began talking to me. He was obviously from the same village but I could not for the life of me figure out who he was. Imagine my surprise when he told me he often had troube recognizing faces! I wisely shut up myself, that was definitely not the time for an embarassing admission.

I work in tax advise and accountancy so lots of clients regularly drop by for any kind of reason. And usually I havent a clue who they are, even if I have seen them dozens of times.
So the trick I often use is to walk up to them and quickly grab the pile of papers they are bringing to frantically look for any evidence of who they are. I have become quite adept at this game.

I've asked pretty good friends what their name were when I've seen them out. I haven't recognized people that I've spent entire weekends with. I've forgotten the faces of other musicians I've jammed out with several times. I used to pretend like I recognized whoever it was but it bothered me that I had to be fake. Now I just ask who they are and explain I have a facial recognition disorder. I hate it when people get offended by this. Would they rather me fake it?

It's been my experience that people know when they've not been recognized. There's no bluffing your way out of it. That makes it worse, and brings the situation and the persons perception of you a little bit out of your control.

So what I've come to doing is telling them, very directly, that I didn't recognize them or forgot their name. I don't lie or misdirect or try to brush over it.

"I'm sorry, I forgot your name," I say, slightly apologetically. Usually I'll keep forgetting their name or wont recognize them a few times, and I'll always be direct about it. That way they know what to expect out of me. So long as I keep it positive, and try not to frame it within embarrassment, things usually turn out well enough, and they're not put off much.

In the past I've only said that "Oh sorry, I forgot your name" a few times. It was horrible because each time the person just laughed. They couldn't imagine how I could forget their name and when I realized finally who it was I knew why - it was someone close enough to me that I had just seen the day before - there was no way anyone would have forgotten their name!

Sort of like if your son walked in and you said "Sorry, I've forgotten your name" He would just laugh or say "yeah right mom" and go on.

When you have a real problem with names/faces you can do that to even pretty close people and being direct just makes you look like a real idiot.

Yeah, this is definitely a catch 22 problem. Like you said, you can't pretend to know someone, if you don't know that you're suppose to know them. Also as Sound has stated:



Exactly. So, if you don't recognize someone that you've met before and they remember you, your lack of recognition of them, will be obvious Thus, bluffing after the fact is pointless and would make you look like an insipid fool.

The only way that I can see of dealing with this is once they've been introduced or have introduced themselves (jogging your memory), at that awkward and embarassing moment, just admit that you feel embarassed for forgetting them, and then make some excuse for it like, "Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you right away. It must be because I'm so used to seeing you with (fill in the blank) and the new context just threw me off."

If you only knew the person in passing and really have no context that you associate with them, something like "Oh yeah! Now, I remember. I'm so sorry. I feel so bad, for not recognizing you. I must be too precoccupied in my mind." (insert sheepish expression)

I can remember faces of people I know well, but acquaintances, I seem to have a time lag with the recognition hitting me. Also, if I see someone who's face I know well, but it's out of context where I would normally see them, then it takes some time for my recognition to kick in.

This happened to me last week. I was at the train station with my daughter and two girls greeted her and they engaged in a conversation for 20 minutes. When they left and were saying good-bye, I said, "Nice to meet you!" After they left my daughter looked at me funny and said, "That was Laura, mom! You've met her. She's been to the house." Suddenly it hit me, but the whole time they were talking I had no clue, I'd met her before.
Somehow she just didn't leave a memory mark for me. Maybe she was just too nondescript, because I don't forget everyone like that.

What happens to me most frequently is if I see my doctor at the beach or something like that, which has happened. He came up to me and said "Hi" and I stood there for a good while staring at him, thinking "Do I know you?" until it clicked. Once again, my daughter pointed out that it was "Dr. D-------".

Sometimes maybe not all the time there are people I know but for the life of me I can't remember there name. When I start talking with them I hope right away that they will tell me there name so that I remember them. Granted some of them are people I only see once a year so I don't feel as bad.

This is what I used to do. Especially when I was a chronic apologizer.

However, of late, I've realized that a simple apology can profoundly color a person's perception of you.... Detrimentally.

It depends on the context, and I think it's probably more true for men than for women, but often times when you apologize, make the sheepish look, make apology reinforcing statements and excuses, it makes a 'thing' out of what might not have been a 'thing.' While it's true that there's the occasional instance where someone takes offense... well... Screw em, in that regard. They shouldn't be offended. Who are they, the Queen of England? And if they're simply quite surprised, well, that's no problem either - This is simply who you unavoidably are.

Excessive apologies often diminish the perception of a person's inner strength, reliability, and respectability. I don't think it's a good trade. I don't apologize anymore, except in a very very light, nearly cursory manner, or in a few extenuating circumstances where reinforcement is needed. I keep a positive tone, I keep it warm, give a smile, but I don't supplicate myself. I think it's a net gain, that way.

Oh I'm terrible at remembering people. Usually I just nod and say hi. If that's not enough I have to be honest with them.

I remember when I was little I once met a guy on the street who looked very familiar. He said "Oh how are you?" And lifted me up and gave me a kiss. I stumbled for a moment and called him uncle. He just laughed. Then I realize that I haven't got any uncles. It's not until I got home, I remembered that he's the husband of one of my mom's good friends. He was very fond of me and took me to parks many times and taught me how to swim, just a few months before then.

Usually I am good at recognising people by their voices. Otherwise, I ask "How's your life going?" and their answers give me clues as to who they are.
If all else fails and they know I haven't recognised them, I just say "I'm sorry, I'm terrible with faces."

I forget their names and have to get use to being near them again if I don't see them for a couple months. In my D&D group there is a guy name Jay that I like but have not seen for at least 6 months. He walked up to me to shake my hand and I can felt the way I feel when I meet people for the first time. (Nervous and Jerky) I always walk away quickly before they get a chance to comfront me about it.

I have not seen my brother Dennis since 2005. I have trouble remembering what he looks like and will probably be uncomfortable around him when and if I ever see him again.

I have a photographic memory. I never forget a face. For instance, I met a guy at church 2 months back. I asked how he liked the Red Elvis's concert? He said what Red Elvis's concert? I said 'the one back in Oct 2008, you sat in the upper level wearing a green Clash t-shirt.' Then he said how the heck did you know that and looked at me like I was some type of psycho. It's a look I get commonly.

Now names or facts about people are a different story. He probably said his name 5 times and I still don't remember it.

If I see it, its with me forever. If I hear it, forget about it.

You're right. I never looked at it this way, but it makes absolute sense. I think it's just as true for women as it is for men, as well. There is a pecking order social behaviour with women also. The MO is different, but it's there nonetheless. Thank you for pointing this out to me. I've decided I'm not doing this excessive apologizing anymore.