What is it like when 2 Aspies meet?

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I met somebody with AS last night(actually I've met him a few times) it was movie night at a family friends house, but it was a very small group this time (the host, her husband, AS guy, and I) AS guy and I never talked, but we both chatted with the host. and a little bit with the husband, though for me they always started up the chat, where as AS guy started some chat.

I imagine if we were in a room alone together for a while, it would be a very quiet room.

Basically it was awkward silence between us, since we've no common interests.

I know at least one person who I suspect is either an aspie or at least has lots of aspie traits. I remember one interaction we had where we were walking down the street. We both held onto our backpack straps as we walked, eye contact was scant, and the conversation was, well, awkward and punctuated by long silences.

One that I know of. (Add here most women I've ever been involved with have been MH.) She was very nice in her solipsist fashion. Liked her a lot, in a little sister manner. Very direct, a quality I admire. She desperately wanted to live here at Twin Oaks Intentional Community, never had a chance.

Recently, I met a few AS women. At first, I was really nervous. Gradually, I began to relax and eventually felt welcomed. They respected my space and let me be. The few periods of silence did not bother me at all.

If you're an Aspie I think you definitely stand more chance of being on a similar wavelength when you meet another Aspie. I socialise with a range of Aspies all the time.

I think I tend to be rather (oftentimes painfully) sensitive myself and so it's easy for me to interact with others who are similar in that regard. However, I met one aspie who said that rather than experiencing sensory overload, he had trouble actually having sensation. Entirely different from my own experience. Oftentimes when I meet someone new I get a feel for the person's temperament almost immediately. The people I like to be around have temperaments that are gentle and restrained or mellow. Many of these people score high on the aspie quiz/suspect themselves of being aspies/have been diagnosed. However, I've also met some aspies who have aggressive and unpredictable temperaments. (Many neurotypicals do as well.) I find these sorts of people hard to be around.

I've only met one, he is one of the math professors here at the local college where I am a librarian. I figured out he was one almost immediately by his manner, his lack of eye contact, and his unusually keen sense of smell. He seems to prefer that people at the school don't know. We have very little in common. He is all about math, which I can do, but don't care for. He is into formal Catholic music and I am a pop musician. So while on one hand I feel completely comfortable in his presence and his mannerisms don't bother me because I understand them, on the other we just don't have any real interest in each other.

It's sort of like this when two aspies meet, except they usually have rattan swords and helmets made of modified propane tanks.





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I have a few Aspie friends online with whom I get along really well. Of course, our entire friendships are written and read, rather than spoken and heard, so that could very well be why.

As to real-life meetings, I've had a few. The one I know best is with my little brother (who is undiagnosed, as am I.)

My brother and I have a good relationship, I think... for Aspies, haha. We don't communicate much, but we both know that doesn't mean we're upset or angry at each other, just that we didn't have anything interesting to talk about that day, so why bother? When we drive together, if we can't decide what music to play, we sit in silence that many others would consider "awkward". Instead, we both know that it would be even more awkward if we attempted to small talk. We both also don't care for crowds, or jobs that require talking with customers. Neither of us are good at convincing customers (via "up-selling" and such.) I've given him job advice that has worked for me and he really wants to learn the job I started off with (ophthalmic lab tech. If you work at the right places, you never have to talk to a customer!) When we were younger and had to go to family get-togethers and other social events, we usually sat back at our table together while everyone else mingled. We also had some similarities in styles of play as kids, so we got along very well when we were little.

Other than that, I know one person in "real life", who calls himself "Autistic" rather than "Aspie", but he seems very much like an Aspie to me. We don't talk one-on-one much (we're in the same group of friends, though.) He and I are both passionate skeptics, as well as filled with detest for anti-vaccination groups, so we can both rant on about certain things for hours. Although he can't tell when a conversation's topic has changed, he gratefully accepts when somebody tells him that is has. So in the end, it's not that different. Well, we don't talk about mindless fluff or pop culture, but I'm really glad for that!


Also, OT to the OP (Neon304)- MALLOW! YES! Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars was the first video game I ever beat. I still get urges to play it today. Ahh, that game holds a very special place in my heart...

My first time [knowingly] meeting someone who was AS was in my sign language class last year - after weeks of serious problems with other students excluding me and on our last day of class during our break an AS guy tried to talk to me...unfortunately the class re-started so the conversation got cut very short. Shame as he seemed nice and I needed a friend in that class - it was strange he was one of only two students who attempted to talk to me socially (the other was ADD), maybe this guy recognised I was AS too.

I've been to one local AS/ASD social meet - the second from this particular group, the other local group seems more geared towards those on the lower end of the spectrum - it was interesting in that I had always considered myself more NT acting than many others on the spectrum but during this first meet I REALLY struggled to say anything and I was visibly nervous where as the others seemed calm. Thus this first meet only a little conversation was had from me (mostly to the one NT there who had been friendly), the others talked but not really to each other more talking in general or just sitting listening to each other.

I am not sure what it is like and I have at times thought perhaps I have met someone with AS and am not sure. When I did meet someone that definitely had AS I did not think he was so different from anyone else. I suppose he did not seem that different to me because I may have AS myself.

In my experience: awkward silences and awkward rambling. However, once you get more comfortable with each other and begin to work past the awkwardness, you can get along really well with each other. How awkward.

An irresistible force versus an immovable object.

It's pretty wonderful. I felt very accepted and like I could be "me" all the time.