Are most people on WP 'Very Mild'?

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I consider my AS to be "mild" in that I don't have many of the traits associated with it. I can process information well. I have a college degree (though not a job). On the outside, I appear to be perfectly ordinary, maybe a little shy and bedraggled. I can make polite conversation, though I run out of things to say after discussing the weather.

The person who diagnosed me said that I only partly fit the diagnosis, but she said that it's common for women not to present as typical cases. She also said that my social impairment is one of the worst she's seen, and she only sees people with AS. When she asked me if, going into s party, I scanned the room for people who were eager to talk, I didn't even know that the possibility existed that you could see who wanted to talk. I just try to stick next to my bf so he can do all the talking.

It never occurred to me I might have AS until I read a book about it 15 years ago, at age 31. I didn't take it seriously, until this year when I finally sought out a diagnosis, partly because it felt presumptuous to want to include myself in a group where I was at the milder end.

But as far as how much it has affected my life and how much suffering it has caused me, it really isn't that mild. I went to psychiatrists and therapists for years and they only made me mad and terribly upset because they couldn't understand the problems I was having, and I was frustrated because I thought, aren't they supposed to know what depressed people are like? Why do they assume things about me that make absolutely no sense? Sometimes I was in so much distress I felt like I was hanging on by my fingernails and struggled to get through the day emotionally and mentally, and all of these therapists (I saw about 12 over the years) offered me nothing and only upset me.

When I tried to join some groups, once as a volunteer in an organizations and another time as part of a group of fans of the same band, online and in real life, I ended up being driven out for reasons that completely escape me. I was made into a pariah and these people hate me with a passion, and I don't know why. Those were my only two attempts in the last 12 years to be social.

When people make me mad, I have meltdowns, which impairs my ability to have a job (I also have chronic fatigue, so it's hard to say if maybe I could have a job without it). I have had two wonderful boyfriends, in relationships that lasted over 10 years, because I am very devoted and love them like a child, but eventually they can't deal with me anymore.

I'm not worse off than many others, I'm better off in many ways, but it makes no real sense to compare. Everyone has the cards they were dealt.

I guess this depends on in what sense.

Quite obviously I'm very communicative, I can have very indepth conversations with people, I'm not cognitively impaired, I blend in relatively well socially, I'm quite aware of myself, and I don't need anyone to care for me....in fact I prefer to be left alone.

Then again, I work in such a way that others often do not understand. Not an inherently inferior way, but a different way....if most people were Macs, I'd be a PC.

This causes incompatibility issues that I'm not very confident most employers would have the patience to work around, and there are finer points of social dynamics that I don't dance very gracefully.

My concerns in life are generally different from the every day concerns of most NT's....for example, I never fret over not having made the bed, nor do I believe making the bed is a good use of my time unless it serves some functional purpose. For example, if the cat has taken to wanting to lie where I put my head, I'll typically pull the covers over that spot.

I get quite annoyed when rules aren't clearly stated and I'm expected to magically know them. For example, Whole Foods has a hot food bar with chicken and they charge by weight. I can't eat a bone so why should I pay for it? So I had taken to using the tongs to pick the meat off the bone, which I intended to eat, and leaving the bone. However, I was told recently that I was not allowed to do this. There was no sign saying I could not do this so how was I supposed to previously know? It's not logical to expect people to buy food they can't eat, so it only seemed logical and proper that I be allowed to pick the meat off and leave the bone so I am not charged for it. Yet I am reprimanded for this "secret rule" management has.

I also get quite annoyed when people harass me for following rules they think I ought not to follow because "no one does" when it would be me who gets in trouble. I resent these secret rules in society and I resent that there are rules that I am expect to know that it's ok to break yet could still get in trouble for breaking.

It really makes things very ambiguous for me sometimes.

I'm this very meek and mild woman, with large hands. A darling woman, who wouldn't want to hurt anybody. I'm willing to talk to and help anybody.

I'm definitely on the mild side.

Well, with any disorder I'd say that most sufferers are on the mild side. It's just the extreme cases that get the most attention.
But yes, I am definately mild. I'm not exactly a socialite but I am perfectly capable of functioning on my own. I wasn't diagnosed til I was 19 and I actually think that's what helped me. Without the stigma of a disorder I forced myself to go out and learn how do deal with people. I knew there was something not quite right about me so I learned to watch what others were doing and learn by example. I can never quite mimick people properly, but I'm a whole lot better than I was as a child

It depends. Mild to one person can mean average to another.

I'm going to say average. I am:

Bad enough to need medication - if I stop taking it I go down hill and very fast. It usually leads to physical traits of anxiety - servere shaking, and emotional breakdowns

Still noticably different when on this medication, have trouble socialising, saying the wrong thing, and don't know when to join a conversation.

Some would say "Nah you look normal, you seem normal enough, you can go to work, you're mild"

I don't see anything "mild" about it personally, I live with someone who is as NT as they come and the differences are EXTREMELY obvious even when i'm medicated, but when I'm properly medicated I tend to lean toward the more mild side.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 24 May 2010, 7:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wouldn't say so. I've had too many AS related struggles to say so. I don't think I'd be able to live on my own right now without a lot of support. I am lucky to have had some luck in relationships, it can be hard for my partners I know to have to a caregiver to some extent along with the usual roles. I don't work. I am often unemployed. I can only work about 15-20 hours a week without having terrible meltdowns when I DO work. I didn't do well in so many things in school until I figured out that although a lot of people could just listen to lectures and get a lot of out didn't mean that I could. I made my first friends at eighteen and have struggled since to make sure I don't lose friends sometimes. Because of the work thing I need near constant financial support. I have days where I cannot deal with people and despite the consequences stay home with my cats. I have times were I almost get hit by cars because either my visuals are so crowded all movement blends or because a sound interrupts my knowledge of where I am. I type easier than I speak but some days I find I can't make my words work anyway.

I have the same sort of job issues.

or both! At the same time!

You'd be surprised at the severity of some around here. They just don't talk about it.

I completely agree. When people are diagnosed with something then sure, it's the same condition as someone else with the same diagnosis but their symptoms and the severity of different symptoms will vary from person to person.

As for the co-morbid traits issue, I agree with that as well. When I'm depressed, which still happens occassionally, some of my AS traits will be more noticable to others than they normally are. For example, I know that I get more resistant to change, people have said that I become more obsessive and stim more, but that's not because my AS has gotten worse. It's the depression that needs that treatment in that case.

I can very much be this way myself.




This is absolutely like me. I have NEVER come across as stiff and formal. This has actually probably had people doubting my diagnoses (AS) because rather than seeming robotic at all, I seem like I'm either very out of it (have been accused of being on drugs a few times) or I am much younger than I am (my ways of interacting with the world actually don't seem to have changed a lot since I actually was a very small child),

Amen on the co-morbid traits being severe. For years, we thought my ex was just OCD--because his OCD hoarding behaviours are so bad that he has a garage and house full of stuff stacked to the ceilings.

I had to think about that! Absolutely.