Did you relate to other children as a child?

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No, never. I'm really surprised when I happen to read on a board that a child can't do this or that,, can't have thoughts of this or that kind, can't realize this or that, can't behave in this or that way because as a child I always could. And when I was 13-14 I was mentally already a young woman, different from an adult only in terms of my biological age.

I was a mute child and couldn't understand play, so even if I was asked to join in with other children, I didn't know what to do and often just stood watching, still with no clue as to what was going on.

When my mom's friend and family came over with their kids my mom would have to yell at me to go play with the other kids. I was holding my end of the conversation with adults. The adults would tell my mom they wished their kids were like me. Always asking questions and watch educational tv. They told my mom that In was heading to college and big things when I got older. I sure fooled them.

Relate in what way? Deeply...no. But I liked playing games with them, mostly with the guys. I found other little girls BIZARRE and their interests really lame! Who the heck would choose to jump rope over playing kickball???

I had friends though in elementary school. In middle school it was harder.

I could never relate, often times in grade school, we would read a piece then answer a series of question, the question that always burned me was "........how can you relate?" my answer was "i cant relate"


Sample Question (completely made-up); "Jeff and his friends go to the skating rink every day after school. One day the manager at the rink told Jeff and his friends that they could skate for free today. Think of a time where you and your friends were shown an extra bit of kindness, how can you relate?"

i simply wrote on the paper that i could not relate as i had no friends, and was never shown any kindness in school, i failed that assignment and many others for telling the truth.

I only related to the kids nobody else related to...nerds, geeks, other people who were socially "exiled." Some of my friends had disabilities...I think maybe their experiences made it a little easier to tolerate me!

In 9th grade I moved to a Christian high school, and for the first time I was respected by truly "normal" kids--now some of that may have been the fact that the teachers absolutely stomped on the slightest teasing (good for them!) so they were too afraid to do it, but I think that the environment of that school actually cultivated genuine respect. I didn't relate to them fully, but at least it was OK to be around them because I knew they weren't going to rip me to shreds socially.

Probably my best experience as far as actually having a real "circle" of friends was in a very academically competitive high school (public) that I moved to for 10th-11th grade. I didn't stick out so badly there (some of my academic abilities, which stuck out in other places, were really quite garden-variety there), and mostly got through without any really bad incidents, except for gym class where some really horrible students and teachers were, who (as usual with gym) were out to make me miserable for being a misfit and a clumsy laggard. But I remember one girl who actually stuck up for me and defended me when that was happening--I think because she was one of the few Muslims at school, and she wore the veil, she knew what it was like to have that kind of unpleasant attention on her and didn't like seeing it happen to someone else.

So there were a lot of bad experiences I will want to help my kids avoid, should I have children...but there are some good ones too, that give me ideas on how I would help my children (especially since I think the odds are in my favor for a kid who shares whatever the heck my full diagnosis is).

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Official diagnosis: ADHD, synesthesia. Aspie quiz result (unofficial test): Like Frodo--I'm a halfling? 110/200 NT, 109/200 Aspie.

Although I like kids when I was one I was more likely to relate a adults.

However although I also did often play with my peers I used to boss them about and as I was always quite big and strong for my age they often used to just put up with it or.....

POW!! !!

But I did still have a few friends with whom I related to very well indeed.

Goodbye Till Next Time

Did I relate to other children?

No.

Yes and no.
Well, not that much since I wasn't like most kids of course and I prefered company of those outside my age range. But in some ways I did relate to them, like I could relate to the desire to have the privilage of sitting at the back of the bus, that is something I could definitely relate to, and I also wished I was popular like a lot of other kids do.

Not at all. I was always way too smart for other kids. While most kids were playing with toys or coloring, I was configuring TCP/IP and DNS protocol settings on my computer.

Rarely. I was then like I am now....I rarely connect with other people on more than a very superficial level. If I manage to do so, if I get rejected it devastates me. Makes me want to go into hiding

~Kate

I rarely got along with anyone my age. I was an extremely intelligent child and I had a hard time relating to my peers. I got along quite well with my Dad's MENSA buddies and surprised them with being able to carry on conversations with them on their level.
Later as (before AS was well known) I was having trouble in school they diagnosed me with dysgraphia, but because of my IQ, they didn't know whether to put me in gifted classes or SLD class, they ended up sticking me with the 'at risk' class full of the jeuvenile delenquents...

Mostly, when I wasn't doing my best to stay isolated, I hung out with the other social outcasts (a small group of us, more or less hung out together for protection)

It was only recently I was diagnosed with AS

No, not very well. Not even with those who befriended me. There was always a wall betwixt us. I typically wasn't interested in some things they liked doing (sports) and vice versa (designing floorplans for houses). I had one friend with whom I found a happy medium (riding bikes, going to Six Flags, watching TV).

I managed to have some friends, though.

As a child srictu sensu (<10 y.o.), yes; as a preteen, no

For the most part, no, my age group was - and still is - utterly insufferable.

Oh absolutely not. I hated other kids and felt alienated from them. I was more friendly with my teachers.