Self DX vs. real DX -a new perspective for me!

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Which just brings the question, what treatment for AS? Where is this treatment for adults with AS? We are talking adults, after all, aren't we?

What? She's not a part of the everyone you were talking about? At least, your generalization sure seemed to include everyone.

Yes, I realize that starting this thread was about understanding a certain point of view. None the less, you have said things with in it that sure sound to me like you are saying everyone who thinks they have AS should get a diagnosis. Which, as a comment about everyone, does apply to individuals.

Right. And that is what makes it such a difficult thing for us to obtain the help we need. There is no question it takes at least some self-education, both in coming to understand Asperger's and in coming to understand oneself. Most experts you'll encounter specialize in one thing or another, and there aren't that many who specialize in Autism. There are a lot out there, I believe, who do provide therapy without the proper understanding of AS. I've found in my own experience that it can be a colossal waste of time to work with them, unless they are willing to learn, and DO learn more about AS. A couple of people we have worked with DID actually take some specialized training to deal with our boys in school. The difference between the way they handled the boys, and the success they were having before the training, and that of after the training was like night and day. Clearly training and better understanding are critical.

It did take a lot of self-advocacy on our part, in behalf of our boys. We began that process before we began to suspect perhaps we we may be Aspies ourselves. It was hard, but we felt like we between a rock and a hard place, and I'm sure you'll agree that for a lot of Aspies, there can be a fight or flight response when that happens. We chose to fight, but both of use tend to fight with stubbornness, determination and standing our ground over and over until what we think needs to happen, happens. It paid off for us were our kids are concerned. Now we are realizing the same tactics may be needed, and may work where our own personal support is concerned.



Yes, and it isn't just an "Aspie" trait either. Earlier I mentioned studying some positive thinking and influence techniques. I never became very good at it, but I did learn a few things that looking back seem surprising I never before understood. That "no" doesn't always mean "no." It often only means "Not right now." If you never go back and ask again, when it could be possible the answer might be "yes." You'll never know. Aspies certainly don't have a monopoly on this trait, but it is usually a very strong one it it's there. It used to be with me, but I'm learning. It takes a lot of patience, persistence and tenacity to not give up.

Ironically, I have one Aspie son who NEVER takes no for an answer, but his problem is not that he gives up. It's the opposite. He hasn't learned yet to give it a little time before asking again. If he gets a "no," he starts in immediately with a barrage of challenges and questions as to our reasoning to the point of ad naseum. He is slowly learning that it doesn't work and only serves to irritate people and cause them to more quickly shut down on him, and NEVER reconsider whatever his request is.

It's a fine line I think we all tend not to be very good at walking at first, but practice makes perfect. You can't get good at anything if you never try it, and don't practice it until you get better at it. It does take us longer than NT's, but it's not impossible to learn. You just have to do it, and quit worrying about whether you're doing it right on the first try. Make a mess of it, and try again. Over and over, until you start getting it right.