Tony Attwood's 4 Stages of Diagnosis Acceptance?

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I wonder how I will feel after being diagnosed? (Aug. 6 I am going for my dx) I have always thought of myself as different as if there was something wrong with me. I wonder if that would have prepared me for after I find out if I have it or not? Either way I guess there is a possibility of extreme emotion.

There's a link on the first page of this thread to a blog post that with that diagram, with further links in the blog post explaining some of the stages.

Bliss is when you're 0-2 years old, and no symptoms show yet.

Well, my birthday is August 6th, so you will most likely get diagnosed on this Aspie-fied day.

My first reaction was, as somebody already mentioned, skeptical but open to the idea. I was skeptical, because I had only ever heard about the AS stereotype, and I do not have horrible social deficits. I'm the sterotypical Aspie female, so I never suspected AS other than the obsessive interests. When I started reading books about it and learned beyond the stereotypes, I felt relief and excitement that I finally knew what was wrong.

"Bliss" for me comes in the form of special interests, knowing that my AS legitimately makes me a bigger fan of my special interests than the rest of the 99.9% of the population. It's a competitive thing.
-OddDuckNash99-

I thought maybe it was as in " Ignorance is bliss" when you didn't know you were different. I guess it still applies. There are those here that were diagnosed or exhibited noticeable characteristics in infancy. I was an easy baby because I just sat there and watched everything. I didn't cry unless I was hungry or needed my diaper changed, according to my mother.

"The Seven Stages of Asperger's Awareness" are by Peter Hilts, Aspie author and educator in Colorado Springs, USA. Both the diagram and the explanation of stages can be found at: (oops,WP will not let me post the Web address because I have not yet made five legitimate posts. But use this info to figure it out: aspergerexpert blogspot.)

Here you go:
http://aspergersexpert.blogspot.com/201 ... eness.html

Actually, I think someone already posted this. Sorry.

Here's a summary page with links to all distinct phases.

http://aspergersexpert.blogspot.com/201 ... erger.html

Peter

Growing up, I came to realize I was different. But I was happy the way I was---I still am. I have always enjoyed my special intense interests that I absorb into. I do not crave the social scene.

As for for the first and last stages the OP mentions:
The first stage of denial---I never went through this. I actually celebrated. I was happy to know there was a condition that caused me to be the way I was. I was not alone in the world. I immediately became fascinated with Asperger's since it was the cause of my eccentricities. I adopted the motto, "My journey has just begun."

The last stage of feeling the need to appear NT---That is not me at all. I don't have this desire. I am happy with having Asperger's because it has given me fun special intense interests and musical talents. I am a talent savant in music. If I become fascinated with a musical instrument's gadgetry, design, etc. I can then play the musical instrument in little time and without lessons or training. I have come to think of Asperger's as a tool with challenges. I use the tool. As a result, I accept the challenges because of the good things Asperger's has given me.

I hate generalizations! Tony, one thing I will never do is lie, or fake or pretend anything.

I don't know.............I went through a denial phase when I was diagnosed ......

Mathgirl, if you find out more about these phases please let me know what they are. I've read two books by Tony Atwood too and have never come across this!

I went through a denial phase three years ago, and then I didn't get back to it until I had to acknowledge it last winter.

My understanding is that first someone came up with the "stages of grief" theory, and now these stages are applied to whatever someone feels like adapting it to. The scary thing is there doesn't seems to be much evidence to support the original theory, so I'm not sure this really holds up.

I don't know, the diagram on the first page describes me pretty well. There's no "denial" phase because everything before "acceptance" necessarily must be denial, and for me it certainly was.


1. Spent my early childhood blissfully unaware. I knew the other kids didn't want to play blocks with me but didn't care. In kindergarten I'd sing songs on the bus, kick over other kids' block towers instead of building my own...we all laughed at Timmy who said "Bown" instead of "Brown" but I have no idea what people thought of me. Never crossed my mind.

2. I gradually became more aware of my differences but fail to understand them.

3. 5th grade, I get my first crush on a girl, which I hold until 8th grade, and she's all I think about but I can't attain her. I'm diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's and my parents do nothing about it. I don't even consider it to be important information at the time. I enter 6th grade and have to adapt to a bell schedule and being merged with 2 other elementary schools. My parents put me on ritalin. Middle school was hell.

4. By 8th grade, I pretty much realize how weird I used to be, but don't realize I still have abnormal behaviors...I do know that I'm only a step above the 'ret*d' kids socially (some who were just far more AS than me) and decide to change that somehow.

5. Between 8th grade and the middle of 10th grade, I'm super depressed. At the end of 8th grade, someone convinces me my crush from 5th grade likes me now, then laughs at me and tells me otherwise two days later. It really brought home the fact that I was terrible socially.

5 1/2. In the middle of tenth grade I stopped taking ritalin, which allowed me to speak again without so much effort, and I started hanging out with the same kid who manipulated me and caused my depression in 8th grade. I was pretty much his b***h for all of high school but now that I'm more socially aware, we have a much different relationship today. He's got some problems of his own, including ADHD and a BPD mother, his intent wasn't malicious. Regardless, by the end of high school I had a group of friends and a social life, so I was somewhat content. I decided I couldn't possibly have Asperger's because my social awareness had increased so much, and other kids I knew had Asperger's (that I KNEW of at the time) were 100% oblivious. My friends and I smoked weed all the time but I preferred drinking, since weed makes you introspective and drinking does the opposite.

5. I get a nosejob. I get to college, try to act like a NT and be accepted, which causes everyone on my floor to avoid me except to prank me. I grow to love smoking weed and spending time alone, but I'm extremely depressed and lonely. I eventually make two good friends and one betrays me. I decide to join a fraternity for girls, friends, and weed. I join a nerdy fraternity that later merges with a more evenly-distributed one so I finally learn to deal with jock types. Girls approach me in college for the first time in my life, and I begin to accept that I now look attractive thanks to my nose job. (It really did look deformed) I dread most parties, but go anyways because I want to improve my social skills, and never think about why I dread them.

6. I look up the symptoms for Asperger's 3 days ago. It's like when Bruce Willis found out he was dead at the end of The Sixth Sense and the whole movie suddenly made sense. Oh my god.

7. Now I know exactly who I am, and I don't feel silly for demonstrating my vocabulary or anything like that. I can further combat the social anxiety, and I tell my friends I have it. Most of them don't believe me because they think I'm socially normal, but the friend who manipulated me in 8th grade remembers.

He might have said it at a teaching lecture that wasn't in his published work. My lecturers say quite a few things in lectures they wouldn't put in print, and you won't find it on the internet. You could ask your counsellor for a reference to the work in question. If nothing else that will let her know she needs to have concrete evidence before she makes any kind of assertion to you.

Why must we grieve for our autistic loved ones? Or for ourselves if we are autistic? If you don't want your kids feeling sorry for themselves, don't feel sorry for them.

It's just the stigma in society surrounding having a developmental disorder that causes us to grieve unnecessarily I think............