I came up with OuterBoroughGirl for pretty uncreative reasons -- I live in an Outer Borough of New York City. It's also kind of a statement to annoy the Manhattanite elitists - those who hold the opinion that anyone who's anyone lives in Manhattan. Many Manhattanites hold the view that Manhattan is the REAL New York City, even though it's actually only a small part of the city geographically speaking. I'm not knocking Manhattan -- there's plenty there worth visiting, but there is a lot more to the city than Manhattan. Basically, my username boldly states that I live in an Outer Borough and I'm not ashamed. I realize that WPers hail from all over the world, and very few people from outside the New York area are going to understand the reference. Ah, well, I'm used to people having no clue what I'm talking about, so that's just par for the course for me.
It occurred to me sometime after I chose that username that it can be interpreted on a different level as well. OuterBoroughGirl can also be interpreted to mean a person who's an outsider, who perpetually feels on the periphery of things. That deeper meaning wasn't intentional on my part, but it fits, so I may as well go with it.
One username I've used on other forums is Edupoet, which is a reference to my interest in writing and education. There isn't much explanation necessary there.
Another username that may have been a good fit for me is AmorphousPeg. I started considering myself an amorphous peg back when I was a student at a quirky liberal arts college that was advertised as an ideal environment for misfits. I convinced myself that among fellow self-identified oddballs, I would find my niche. I believed I would fit in there. My Mom encouraged this, telling me I'm a "square peg," and that's why I could never fit in the the standard "round holes. " (metaphorically speaking) She told me that this college for fellow "square pegs" (aka misfits) should prove a far better fit for me than any school I had attended up until then.
I arrived at college, and soon discovered that this was not the case -- even among the oddballs, I *still* didn't fit in. I wasn't bullied there, but I was still regarded as "the weird girl."
I then determined that I'm not a square peg at all - I'm an amorphous peg, and I'm not likely to ever find a hole that fits me. No matter what I do, and where I go in life, I'm always an outsider. That's not an easy thing to come to terms with, but that's how it is for me, and how it's always going to be, so my best bet is just to own it.
Okay, I've gone into far too much detail, as always. I'll make my exit for now.
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"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad./ The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."