Are there more female Aspies than people believe?

Post Reply New Topic

Hey, this is good stuff. I will google Winter-Messiers. Do you happen to have a link to that particular article though?

found the link, googling:
http://www.dailyemerald.com/news/gender ... .1470337#4

Turns, out, Winters-Messiers lives in the same city I do! I want to see if I can meet her.

However, the article says the info was based on a book, Girls Growing Up On The Autistic Spectrum by Shana Nichols, et al (and I had included earlier a link to Nichol's article.) I've read the book and found no mention of this info in it, so I'm wondering if it's Winters-Messiers research.

I agree with this. People seem to have different ideas about how "males" and "females" should behave, and therefore tend to read the traits differently.

When I read the book "Look Me In The Eye", the male author explained that he was often accused of being "shifty" or "dishonest", just because he had trouble making eye contact. I found that fascinating: I have never heard those adjectives used to describe myself- instead, people told me I was "demure", "insecure" and "shy". I think there are many other examples of this kid of thing: different interpretations.

Hmm, interesting. If you get a chance to talk with her I'd love to learn more about this study.

I'm sorry but as a female Aspie I hate the whole "we mask symptoms" better. For me that is not true AT ALL!! !! and I've failed socially time and time again. Usually the many traits relate to me being myself/happy then I get told by family don't do X and then I feel bad s**t I did X then look into WP and oh that's a trait. So Aspie traits=being myself=being happy=BAD behavior. Try to change behavior= Oh you are depressed/upset/moody/bad mood/what's wrong with you? etc. I can never win unfourtenently.

I don't think anything which is true in general is true for all. Not all females are going to be able to mask symptoms better.. but for those who do, there needs to be a way to identify them so they don't go without help.

BTW, I posted that article link on FB and it's very interesting that an androgynous aspie commented that most of those differences seem cultural rather than biological. I would imagine that aspies would pick up less "culture" than others, since we tend to do things we want for ourselves, rather than mimicking the wider whole. But could this be somewhat true?

Our brains are different. Female brains tend to be more "relational" from the latest research I saw, which I think may account for the differences better.

I began to show "autistic tendencies" from under 6 months of age. My mother said she noticed I rubbed my eyes in a "cartoonish way" for no reason in a way exactly like my father. As a toddler, I knew more about the ecosystem and animals than my mother did, and I had every stereotypical social symptom all through childhood. Caused many a problem. My stimming was also very loud-and-proud, so to speak. I was actually lectured by multiple teachers (as well as my mother) about it, but never started to attempt to control myself until I was 13 or so...


I'm confused. Girls also have social impairments, repetitive and limited play and are easily distracted. And boys take longer to process information and understand the fundamentals yada yada yada... These things are the same. The problem is that girls will become withdrawn instead of forcing themselves on other children, and eventually learn to mimic others around them to make friends in a way that boys don't have to do (making friends with girls requires more social etiquette, which is why most of my friends were male).

The "little mothers" thing is something I've heard before, and is very true, at least for me. I'm still a bit skeptical on the whole mirror-neuron hypothesis. I had a very clear lack of empathy and "mirror-neuron" stuff as a child.

Same for boys, minus the eating disorder part. I do find the ED statistics to be very interesting, and it makes sense when you combine the pressures put on girls when it comes to appearance. A girl who can't fit in will think that if she's attractive, maybe then she'll fit in. Combine that with OCD tendencies and anxiety, and you get the makings of an eating disorder.



In response to everyone talking about whether or not girls mask symptoms "better" than males, I think that's bunk. Why would girls be more able?
I think what's really going on is that girls are under more pressure to mask their symptoms, so often times they end up putting in the effort that males don't. Also, an awkward girl is more out of the norm than an awkward boy, so people are more willing to try and coach a girl.
I personally TRIED to mask my "symptoms" for years. It wasn't until I started seeing a guy in high school who noticed my awkwardness and attempted to teach me the ways of the NT (though this was before I even knew was Asperger's was). I would never have been able to learn on my own, as I had no way of knowing what to do. My ex told me how to respond to X situation, and he would whisper in my ear if I were monologue-ing to someone who wasn't interested, etc. I learned a lot that, but on my own, I would have been no better off than a male with AS.

I would be interested in knowing if that is true or not. I myself feel I am a borderline case. I have a very Aspie mindset but certain things about are not Aspie. I don't feel like I am NT, but I don't feel like I am a total Aspie either.

Failing countless times in relationships will also cause someone to analyze their appearance. What you´ve written here sound like my issues exactly! Thankfully, I´ve gotten over the eating disorder part, but the OCD/anxiety/appearance issue will probably be there until death.



This sounds quite a bit like the social training I received from my mother, starting around age 4! (I also showed signs at an early age, and I think it was when I was younger that my traits were the most visible. This was before the age of diagnosis though). I think I learned how to "mask" due to the social training I received. Not only that, but I was acutely aware of the fact that I didn´t know what to do around people- it was like I was blank. As my Mom gave me so much social training, I figured she must be an expert, so I watched her a lot and imitated her. My theory is that more social training- (in many cases, not all)- is one of several reasons a girl may fall under the radar.

It might not be that there are less girls than boys with AS, it might just be that some girls might be able to make it through life without a diagnosis, while others find themselves disrupted enough to seek one out. Diagnosis needs to be sought for people who are experiencing an actual disorder.

we don't know whether it's a sex-linked trait. i doubt it.



i have been saying this all along. it bears repeating.

also any acting out is going to be seen as emotionally based when it might be a frustration-based meltdown. i think even just an anger problem in a woman would be seen as b!tchiness instead of a sign of something else. also if you're attractive and "cold" then it must be deliberate - you're a snob or too good for other people or hate them.

there is no way to interpret behavior accurately without taking into account a lot of different things, not just gender but culture, background, environment, etc. which is why i think it's really important to trust someone's self-reporting about what they're experiencing. if you can get it.

my mother figured out she had ADD around age 60. there is no doubt about it, it is not at all mild, and she has pretty severe executive function issues. she doesn't act anything like a 10 year old ADHD boy, and she's blond, so despite her high intelligence everyone just thought she was flaky. gender double-standards abound. different things are expected of boys/men and girls/women, and different interpretations are attributed to their behavior.

i'm not saying girls necessarily have it harder in all areas than men, nor that all men or all women even have the same difficulties. but it would be really nice if we could just TALK ABOUT IT without a guy interjecting that no, they have it worse.

I'm 42 too and had a similar experience. I learnt to mimic and to use eye contact - still havent got it quite right - i sometimes stare. I was known as different too, weird to some people,, unique to the very few who did get to know me.