Did you realize you were different when you were a child ?

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Oh heck yes! It clicked with me when I was about 3 and 1/2 that I was different from others.

Then it was kindergarten. Back then there were no such things as IEP's and what not and I was in a mainstream class. About a month into the school year I was invited to stay after school one day. I remember romping around the classroom all excited to have it to myself, about an hour later my parents came down to pick me up and I remember they were not happy. Turns out in that one month I had made quite an impression on the school staff and the reason for the meeting was to talk about counseling and remedial education for myself as well as strategies for controlling my behavior.

My parents were considering allowing the school to use corporal punishment on me! Keep in mind this was 1985 and in Wisconsin corporal punishment in schools was still legal with parental consent.

That was when I felt the stigma began. I remember sitting with counselors who would review my week with notes provided by my teacher and talk with me about all the things I did.

Then 1987 happened - My parents wanting to be rid of me enrolled me into a YMCA summer day care program with other kids, some of whom were twice my age. I got pushed further that summer than any summer previous and as a coping mechanism, I restored to a year long streak of head bashing during my meltdowns which ended up getting the police involved.

That all extended to my second grade year of school where my principal finally had enough and called the district psych who came over to evaluate me. I was classified as being mentally handicapped and recommended for placement in a "self contained educational program" which at the time meant going to a school with the other kids in the county who were also declared as being handicapped. My parents refused and many years later I asked them why and they told when they saw the place it was more like a zoo than a school.

It wasn't until I was in fifth grade that I would have a decent year of school grade wise and socially.

All of this certainly stuck with me. I hated weekly and sometimes daily sessions with the school counselor. During those times I longed to have a day or even a week where something wouldn't set me off or get me in trouble.

I have no idea. I was pretty absorbed in my own interests. I can't remember a thing about people, or how I fit in, really, before middle school.

Yes, absolutely. I sensed that other kids were different from me but I didn't know why. That made me feel different, but in a special way. I thought I was destined for greatness or something. That sure didn't happen!