Why do many autistics try to go at an NT pace?

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I think you hit on an important point there.

Those of us born before AS was recognized didn't have an excuse. Nobody around us understood that our perception/understanding of practically EVERYTHING was a different; and not as the result of our own choices. There was no reason to cut people with AS slack, because nobody knew what AS was. To take it a step farther... we didn't know of any reason why we should cut ourselves any slack.

In some cases, I think people that went through this "keeping up with the NTs race" came out stronger than we would have if we had an excuse. In some cases people just couldn't do it, and it had severe impacts. Yes, I feel very deeply for those that got chewed up by the machine. Our societies failed many beautiful minds just because they weren't standard issue one size fits all sheeple engines.

Ok... I'm getting off track into rantsville. I just wanted to make the point that some of us who ran the race to keep up... for decades, really had no choice. It was survival. I avoid imagining how my life would be different; if my differences were: recognized, accepted, and I was encouraged to be my actual self. I just played the hand I was dealt. It didn't kill me, so assume it made me stronger. Survival is a great motivator.

Because going at an NT pace is what's expected of everyone. While more people have heard about autism than a couple of decades ago, the world, if anything, has become more socially-based than ever before, which makes life tougher for autistics. I doubt that people will be allowed to have certain strong suits and weaknesses as long as the school systems try to make sure everyone is equally good at every subject. But with more autism awareness and diagnoses being made, perhaps things will sloooooooooowly change.

Yikes! Just be careful with that word "excuse." I think what you really mean is "explanation" or "reason."

"Excuse" carries a lot of negative connotations for many users here. But I know what you mean.

I agree with Aspiezone and others who have concluded that it is pointless to try and go against your brain biology. I used to go at an N/T pace all the time and kept burning out. Sad thing is, I still was not accepted, but at the time did not know why. True, it is an N/T world, and I have made many accomodations and concessions to it in order to function in my day to day life. But I go at my own pace now. Luckily, I am an artist, and thus it is more acceptable to have odder work schedules than normal people.

Sorry if anyone was offended. That wasn't my intent.

It just seemed like the most accurate term for an exclusion from normal expectations (NT pace).

I know what you're saying, and why you used the word "excuse": the way we were perceived by NT's as just being "weird" meant we didn't have a "REASON" and that, therefore, we were just supposed to "get over it."



Looking back, I think you're right. I always knew I was "different" and got picked on a lot (the worst of it was in grade school) but I had to deal with it. My mom said she would have homeschooled me because SHE knew there was something "different" about me too (no name for it in the 1980's). However, she chose not to because she realized that if I didn't learn how to deal with the social world early, as horrible as it could be, I might never be able to. She was right. I don't think I would have made it into/through college/grad school if I hadn't been able to develop coping skills.

"Those that got chewed up by the machine" probably had no support from their families, either. I really feel for them, too.



This is how I've felt for a long time.

I think a lot of times it's because they want to be accepted. I know I do and often times, more so online though, I act more normal around my NT friends. I usually hide my tendencies that I have to get them to like me more. I think those that do just want to be accepted sometimes and feel like they belong somewhere. I have good social skills once I get close to those around me but with strangers I can go completely mute for hours until my parents speak up for me and then I talk to those strangers. It's usually in public places.

Other times, its because they don't understand us. I think maybe they make us go at a faster pace because they don't know how to look after us. I would give anything to have been a little more fast paced to grow up myself. I hardly act my age and it often gets me ridiculed in public too. If I have a meltdown, my mom doesn't know how to react. It's hard for her because she becomes embarrassed. I mean you have NTs who will say, "what a brat" or something. I've never been able to control my meltdowns. It's not so much that I have them as a form of a tantrum. I have them because of how enraged I am.

I know that around other people I usually isolate myself but other times I do try to talk to them if they talk to me. I don't really like being rude and walking away or anything. I try to have sometime when I can act more like an NT than being considered autistic unless it's something that triggers the autism then I can't control it.