How do Asperger people party?

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I go to a local bar with friends and drink, chat, sing and have a really good time. ^_^

i found it easier when i was a teenager. back then, i would do one of two things:

1. carry crossword puzzles... not to be alone, but to get people talking to me. people love to help.
2. ask weird questions... people would get thinking and everyone would get talking and it would be kind of fun (i.e. what musical instrument are you most like? or, if you had to die a horrible death right now, how would you want to go?)

but now, i feel pressured to be 'grown-up' and i don't integrate as well. like several other posters, i tend to roll on the floor with the pet, or cling to someone i already know.

occasionally, if i am feeling *really* uncomfortable, i wll seek out someone who seems really serious and tease them/joke with them incessantly. since i feel awkward and left out already, i feel like i have nothing to lose. sometimes those people really hate when i do that, because they want to be serious and i am messing that up. but sometimes it helps them to loosen up too if they are really nervous.

Why do you ask?

I go to those parties too. Every now and again someone brings up an intelligent subject and I am ready to converse there.

ruveyn

I go to pool partys I am always in the water, I am fine unless someone canonballs beside me

Wait, I've got a better answer:

How do (people with Aspy) party?

Naked, with your mother.

ZING!

usually end up next to the food table, or gravitate towards a quieter section of the party. Occasionally I can latch onto someone I know well and cling, but that opportunity doesn't come up too often.

I'm almost tempted to ask "What's a party?"

Been so long since I was at one I've nearly forgotten what they were like.

As a matter of fact my wandering off on my own at the last party i went to demolished a budding relationship, but that's a topic for another discussion.......

But I can remember that when I did party often my usual activities were playing wallflower or getting rip-roarin' drunk so I could fit in.

That led to the "If I have one I have thirteen" scenario.

Alas, diabetes curtailed by alcohol consumption, and I soooo hate the wallflower routine I just quit going.

I dont go to parties, never been invited to a single one, not one in my 23 year existence. i imagine that if i did go to a party, i would make a fool of myself, thus destroying any future chances of being invited. I was forced into a party as a child, my father wanted me to socialize more, this led to shame and embarassment and him telling me to "cut the crap" when i tried to use the "aspergers card". Despite the agreement of several doctors over the course of 8 years, he still would not believe that aspergers exists.

As a matter of fact I was at a party picnic this past weekend where it happened just like the OP said until the other aspie I was there with came back over and we left-at least 100 people and the only person to really talk to me or hang out with and talk was the other aspie I had gone there with-I am not usually invited to parties at all-this party was for a community center in Philadelphia and there was a trip to a corn maze before the party and myself and the other aspie that I was there with are into corn mazes so we went to the get together afterwards-I usually end up being the designated driver and bar b que cook at other parties so its not a party for me usually-I am working at the party-and at those parties during quiet times I sit in the corner all alone and watch other people drink and have fun.

I'll generally cling onto someone I know and/or drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol.
I still go to the few I get invited to, hoping every time that I might meet a new friend or lover but never do. I should learn not to bother but won't anytime soon as they are the 2 things I want most!

Drugs or alcohol. An open bar can make me fairly comfortable if the people are INTERESTING (and are they ever?). If not, I'm going to need ephedrine and valium.

I have to force myself to go to parties (either because there are people there I care about, or it's "networking" for school or volunteering) and mentally psych myself up for it, because it's really not fun for me. I hate to admit it, but I also need at least one drink to feel less stressed/nervous, and also have something in my hand. Small talk is tough for me and I can't drink too much because then I forget how to and start blabbing about stuff people don't want to hear. Definitely prefer to arrive late and leave early, if I must go at all

I can't imagine how you guys go to parties just to spend your time alone. Being alone when people are talking and having fun makes me feel extremely miserable. I'd rather just stay out of it all.

We had sort of a party at Autreat on the last day, with everyone being on the spectrum, of course, and it was fun. All we did was just sit around, talk, and we even watched random Youtube videos on people's laptops. There was no alcohol XD

If you sit alone at parties, then what's the point of going there, anyway?

Last edited by MathGirl on 17 Sep 2010, 5:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yep , as a teen I recall my cousin's girlfriend laughing/giggling at me as I sat there at my aunt's house. She would look and then turn away to her boyfriend and do this behavior repeatedly, ad infinitum. I don't know what was sooooo funny about me other than me zoned out in space. Small minds I might say.
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At this point, since my "discovery," I let loose on trying to be something that is unattainable(on all fronts), as I found a comfortable 'niche' now.
If I had a Dx earlier in my life I would have been spared a lot of anxiety, as before, I would hyper analyze of what I perceived to be a faux pas, and obsess over this -this could drive you to the nut house.

At the present, as per what ruveyn said, this has been my M.O. too.

Often people who sit alone at these things are at family parties and are expected to be there as a matter of courtesy (ugh, story of my childhood)...or perhaps the party is led by a close friend who either things it will be good for them or that it will get them to "open up" which of course, is false. Either way, it's kind of pointless if the person isn't having fun oir chooses not to interat with anyone: it just makes things awkward for them.