Are Aspergians really rude and inconsiderate?

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okay, testing this theory. Moog, not trying to be rude or anything but your breath stinks.




































Did it work???

No.

We really need lab conditions.

I have seen people say that but I always interpret that as they don't want you to take it the wrong way or get upset or defensive because they are genuinely curious. Like someone can say to me, "Not to be rude but how are you going to afford your child after you have it?"


But lot of times I often wonder why would I think they're being rude. It was just a curious question. Or if it was a comment they made I often wonder why would I think they're being rude, they were just being honest. I just assume it means what I said in my first part of my post.

And "I don't mean to be racist / sexist, but ..." and proceed to say something completely unacceptable. In the newspapers, they use it to get away with things that are incitement to hatred, on the grounds that they are provoking legitimate debate.

I'm a polite person in general, but when I state my opinion about certain things, people often say I'm rude. I can be a rude person when I'm in a bad frame of mind, but aren't most people like that? Actually, I sometimes think that NT's can be inconsiderate at times...sorry...

If I'm being rude, it's usually not intentional or I'm so pissed that my "tact filter" has come down. Now there are some people who use their AS as an excuse to be an as*hole and that makes me so mad.

Yes, I´m having trouble understanding exactly why this is considered rude. What was he supposed to have done?

I think they make a huge fuss about it and a big deal while she keeps saying she is okay I'm guessing.

I get very annoyed when people fuss over me when I say I am okay. Seesh don't they listen? I just want to snap at them to get them to leave me alone because I figure if I get bitchy, they won't want to deal with me so they leave me alone. Maybe people love being fussed over when they fall?

Last edited by League_Girl on 24 Sep 2010, 1:12 am, edited 2 times in total.

No, not at all. But a lot of people with ASD's may come across that way to others.

It varies from one aspie to another. I'm pretty sensitive to others feelings, but this may only be true because I'm very sensitive myself.

It also seems like some aspies can be too nice or good natured to the point where they are taken advantage of. Personally I haven't met many rude aspies IRL. I honestly don't see where this stereotype comes from. I'm far more likely to get offended by an NT who is obviously being rude and nasty on purpose.

I wasn't suggesting that you or Alex or anyone else here has a lack of empathy Meadow. I was (in a dry and ironic way) pointing out that there are people out there who see disabilities in only dire physical or mental conditions, and they fervently criticize anyone who claims otherwise as being a heartless attention seeker.

I kept getting told that if the person feels that I was rude, that was all that mattered.

I tend to think that what matters is how you feel about it.

It's a case of mind over mind; if you don't mind, they don't matter.

From my experience, it wasn't always how the person felt, it was if they were the ones with the problem and it wasn't me and they just over reacted.

But then I am being told feelings matter. WTF?

I just ignore them.

This is very interesting, and a good example of how a situation may be perceived in different ways. When a person trips and falls, the incident is actually rather complex: He may actually have become physically hurt, he may have gotten a scare (it is scary to lose one's footing and know that you're about to fall), his pride may have been hurt (embarassment). Many things for the onlooker to notice, assess and express empathy about by using facial expressions and by verbalizing our concern. ("Are you hurt?" "Oh, that looked painful." "Sure you are all right?" "Let me help you get up." etc, etc.). It is common to express empathy even though the person is clearly unharmed. First and foremost because it's a good chance that the person actually experiences some physical pain even though he says he's fine. Secondly, we show concern and empathy because we know it may both be scary and embarassing to trip and fall.
To me, an "expressionless" look on my aspie friend's face if I should fall, will not seem rude, because I know he cares about me. However, you cannot know that a person has AS by looking at him/her, and a seemingly uncaring glance will then be judged as callous or cynical by many people.

I can only speak for myself, but it is a real disability. I don't however have the strength or necessarily the where with all to get that information out to you, which is also a big part of my disability. If you can't speak effectively or hold your own in society, you are at a serious disadvantage. Even in writing I struggle with it. It doesn't mean I'm stupid or should be kicked into the gutter. My lack of strength in some areas are at least compensated in another. And that's only one aspect of the overall challenges and disability. It's hard to be tough enough in life around the constant badgering and ignorance that people put out when something isn't immediately obvious to them.