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How do I dodge the "what do you do" question?

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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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05 Oct 2010, 11:56 am

Sparrowrose wrote:
. . . I noticed that when I said I was a writer, people got really interested and I didn't feel like talking about my writing either. But then I saw that when I described my writing (non-fiction, technical writing, instructional manuals) people got REALLY bored and wanted to talk about something else. . .

That was kind of my experience when I told people I was a writer! It kind of bogged the conversation.



the_curmudge
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05 Oct 2010, 2:55 pm

I've been searching for the perfect answer for 40 years The best I've found is, "I manage my investments." It's always true, even if it just means you dust the pile of comic books you hope will be collector items one day. Of course, people who truly want to pry will be even more curious, in which case a firm "Let's not talk about money" or "I've already said too much" should let them know the discussion is closed. Thwarted, they may get a little nasty with something like, "I wish I could sit around counting my money all day," in which case you can sooth them with,"Actually, it's boring. I'm sure your job is much more interesting." And then the ball is in their court.



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05 Oct 2010, 2:59 pm

'I'm a student' (...of the school of life)



y-pod
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05 Oct 2010, 7:27 pm

This has been easy for me because I'm a mom. Lots of stay-at-home moms in my area so it's not too strange. Although I don't volunteer or socialize with them much, I can still justify what I do. I don't know what I'll say when my kids are older. Maybe I have to go take a class or something and claim "I'm a student." as well. Maybe I can sell a few things on Ebay and say I run a home business. :D

I wonder what people would say if I tell them I just sit there and enjoy life all day. :D



Rocky
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05 Oct 2010, 11:26 pm

Lene wrote:
'I'm a student' (...of the school of life)


You beat me to this one. I always wanted to say: "I am a student of life. My day job isn't very interesting." But I always chickened out. I used to wonder if the person asking is doing so to see how much money I earn so they could judge me. I was probably being a little paranoid. It always seemed like a rude question to me. I would suggest that a better question to ask in that situation is "What do you like to do?"


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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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10 Oct 2010, 8:26 pm

Rocky wrote:
. . . I would suggest that a better question to ask in that situation is "What do you like to do?"

I kind of like this. It's the gentle flip. It's like when you walk into a restaurant and the hostess says "Just one?", you say "One, Myself," and say it in kind of a goodnatured way. And you see, in that way, I kind of flip the situation.



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12 Oct 2010, 1:45 am

Sparrowrose wrote:
AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
I mean, where do you take it?!?


That's pretty much I did before I was a student when I didn't want to talk about disability. I had written some articles and a book but I noticed that when I said I was a writer, people got really interested and I didn't feel like talking about my writing either. But then I saw that when I described my writing (non-fiction, technical writing, instructional manuals) people got REALLY bored and wanted to talk about something else. So then I was happy to answer "what do you do?" with "I write" because "ooh! Have I read anything you've written?" was answered with, "I don't know - do you like to read technical manuals?" and suddenly the topic of conversation dramatically CHANGED.

Another answer I used to give before I started getting published was to turn it into a joke and then immediately ask them something about themselves to distract them. Like:

"ha ha ha I'm independently wealthy. So, have you lived in this area all your life?"


Well... I DO write just not enough to get off disability and because my right hand is currently paralyzed....

I think when/if I get the use of my hand back (almost had it then radiation started) I'll just say I write then quickly ask them what they do. Its pretty obvious right now that I'd be on some kind of disability.

Because "How to win friends and influence people" showed me that there is nothing an NT loves doing more than talking about himself....


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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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12 Oct 2010, 9:36 am

MizLiz wrote:
. . . I'll just say I write then quickly ask them what they do. Its pretty obvious right now that I'd be on some kind of disability. . .

And some people will easily and matter-of-factly feel their way that you don't want to talk about it more and let the conversation skim and transition to other topics. I mean, some NTs are constructive persons who have skills, and some aren't.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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12 Oct 2010, 9:47 am

MizLiz wrote:
Well... I DO write just not enough to get off disability and because my right hand is currently paralyzed....

I think when/if I get the use of my hand back (almost had it then radiation started) . . .

MizLiz, here's sending you positive thoughts and well-wishing--- :D All The Best! :D ---that you regain the use of your hand. I know I find writing to be a significant creative outlet.



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12 Oct 2010, 7:29 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
MizLiz wrote:
Well... I DO write just not enough to get off disability and because my right hand is currently paralyzed....

I think when/if I get the use of my hand back (almost had it then radiation started) . . .

MizLiz, here's sending you positive thoughts and well-wishing--- :D All The Best! :D ---that you regain the use of your hand. I know I find writing to be a significant creative outlet.

Thanks. :)


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12 Oct 2010, 7:33 pm

Give 'em the Chuck Barris response:

"I'm a part time assassin for the CIA!"

Then...

just walk away...

:lol:


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animalcrosser5
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12 Oct 2010, 10:03 pm

You're getting money from the government. Just say "I work for the government." When they say "Really? Doing what?" then reply with "That's classified." or "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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13 Oct 2010, 12:09 pm

MizLiz wrote:
Thanks. :)
You're very welcome!



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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13 Oct 2010, 12:19 pm

MrXxx wrote:
Give 'em the Chuck Barris response:

"I'm a part time assassin for the CIA!"

Then...

just walk away...

:lol:


Or, or, you could say . . .

"I'm a retired mafioso. I'm trying to go straight. And that's turning out a little bit harder than I expected." :P :twisted:



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13 Oct 2010, 4:48 pm

animalcrosser5 wrote:
You're getting money from the government. Just say "I work for the government." When they say "Really? Doing what?" then reply with "That's classified." or "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

Hah. My dad actually DOES work for the government and I have to wonder how he handles these snoopy kinds of questions because even I don't know fully what he does nor does anyone in our family. I think he just says "Military defense" or "engineering"and waits for them to stop talking. He has AS,too (but won't admit it... although if its clear to me...)


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